irc333 Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 This is mostly with online dating, but I saw a unique profile of a woman that had at once used to respond to pretty much any intelligible email of a man that contacted her. She eventually thought recently would get caught up in conversations with men trying get her into a volley of emails trying to explain, "Well, why don't you think we'd make a good match? I thought we'd make a good match, we have the same values, interests, attitude, etc, in fact that's the reason I contacted you." She said she got tired of having to explain to these men, although they were rational in their talks, that she simply wasn't attracted. "Sure, we have the same interests, values, beliefs, etc....but I'm just not attracted to bald men". Eventually shed' get painted into a corner by some of these guys where she was forced to a point of saying "I am just not physically attracted". Usually the conversation would end there and that would be that. It became laborious for her to have to explain to every man, though logical men, her reasons for not wanting to give him a shot. Can anyone concur on this? Have you changed your methods of response to a simple non-response due to trying to be sold on dating them? I actually have a female friend that had issues with this in REAL life...through some of the social events. All the time these guys would say, "So, who do you see yourself dating in this room?" (meaning him of course, lol) , but she wouldn't fall for it. Or get the, "Oh, I take it you want a man with money, right?" The guy would say to her in a snarky fashion while he sips his beer.
Smthn_Like_Olivia Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 The whole sales pitch thing is a turn off. I like to see people's interests listed, but I don't generally go for men that have a lot of the same interests or habits as myself. I am often attracted to people that live on a completely different plain and can introduce me to new things. For me, it makes for a more interesting relationship. They do, however, have to have just as an open mind as me and be acceptable of our differences. 2
Scales Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 In my opinion you are always trying to sell yourself in some way to a potential mate. Especially as a guy where your words count for more than your looks. These guys are just terrible salesmen. Not the least bit tactful or romantic. There is a reason why you need to be "smooth". You need to convince a woman you are indeed different and of high value. One of a kind in the area. Somebody who isn't boring and leaves other guys in the dust. Whether thats true or not doesn't matter, if she believes it then it is the truth. On a side note, I'm always excited if a girl can outright reject me. It saves me time and I respect the directness. It also validates my own preferences in women knowing that some women have no preference in me. Its OK. Its rare though. Most of the time women don't want want to come across looking mean so they will reject you in the most passive of ways. Sometimes its because they really don't like you and sometimes they are testing you. Some girls love the attention and some people are emotional users. How you deal with rejection as a guy matters A LOT. Don't panic, don't freakout, don't get sad. Remember, you are conveying to a woman that you are different. Its the perfect opportunity to separate yourself from the rest of the regular men, showing her that you are unfazed.
Author irc333 Posted January 19, 2014 Author Posted January 19, 2014 The whole sales pitch thing is a turn off. I like to see people's interests listed, but I don't generally go for men that have a lot of the same interests or habits as myself. I am often attracted to people that live on a completely different plain and can introduce me to new things. For me, it makes for a more interesting relationship. They do, however, have to have just as an open mind as me and be acceptable of our differences. Hm, we'll have to agree to disagree then. I have a male friend that will not date a Obama supporter and other such beliefs associated with liberals. Christians usually won't date atheists, (unless they're desperate). You get the picture. ;-)
Author irc333 Posted January 19, 2014 Author Posted January 19, 2014 I really, really WOULD like to believe that, and you do make sense. Scales. But I am reminded of a line in a Seinfeld episode where Kramer says to Jerry, "Women love the snub". And George Costanza says, "Doesn't work, I've snubbed women for a full 2 years and they've never been happier". LOL One of those "it's so funny, because its so true situations". Some men have the gift of being able to take rejection, usually they are able to do this, because they know they can get a date with the next one. If a man who typically isn't much of a Casanova, might have to make up for that by selling himself. Even if means, repeated attempts at asking her out. I have heard of marriages coming from men who constantly persisted in asking them out about 4 or 5 times before they finally landed a date with said woman. So may be that's the method some men have to use? I've heard of women purposely rejecting men to see if he would TRY again. If he did, she took it as a sign of genuine interest, if he did not, he was only interested in getting into her pants or just something disingenuous about not persisting. In my opinion you are always trying to sell yourself in some way to a potential mate. Especially as a guy where your words count for more than your looks. These guys are just terrible salesmen. Not the least bit tactful or romantic. There is a reason why you need to be "smooth". You need to convince a woman you are indeed different and of high value. One of a kind in the area. Somebody who isn't boring and leaves other guys in the dust. Whether thats true or not doesn't matter, if she believes it then it is the truth. On a side note, I'm always excited if a girl can outright reject me. It saves me time and I respect the directness. It also validates my own preferences in women knowing that some women have no preference in me. Its OK. Its rare though. Most of the time women don't want want to come across looking mean so they will reject you in the most passive of ways. Sometimes its because they really don't like you and sometimes they are testing you. Some girls love the attention and some people are emotional users. How you deal with rejection as a guy matters A LOT. Don't panic, don't freakout, don't get sad. Remember, you are conveying to a woman that you are different. Its the perfect opportunity to separate yourself from the rest of the regular men, showing her that you are unfazed.
Teraskas Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 Truth told, every time I write a message...it just feels like a sales pitch. Anyone want to buy this premium piece of meat ?
Smthn_Like_Olivia Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 Hm, we'll have to agree to disagree then. I have a male friend that will not date a Obama supporter and other such beliefs associated with liberals. Christians usually won't date atheists, (unless they're desperate). You get the picture. ;-) I wasn't thinking of differences to that extent. For instance, my guy likes to listen to hard core rock and a lot of artists that I've never even heard of. I'm more mainstream and also like jazz, pop, & bluesy type stuff. I love Mac and he's a PC guy. I want a white Range Rover one day, he think's they're the devil's spawn and part of what's wrong with the world. I'm flexible on political beliefs, but could never see myself married to a staunch right-wing conservative or a religious person that believes all gays will burn in hell. There are always deal breakers. 1
normal person Posted January 25, 2014 Posted January 25, 2014 Truth told, every time I write a message...it just feels like a sales pitch. Anyone want to buy this premium piece of meat ? I feel the same way. And for that reason, I never message women.
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