missthingy Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 My husband is in jail for a few months and I wonder if I should have an affair. I try not to think about sex etc or talk about it to him as there is nothing he can do to help. My lack of discussion about sex or intimacy has made him think I am frigid! I feel like I can't win. I have always been faithful but now I wonder if I should actually enjoy myself over the next few months and be a bit less boring and predictable.
Arieswoman Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 An affair solves nothing. All you'll get is 3 unhappy, unfulfilled people instead of 2. What you need to be focusing on right now is your husband and how you can support him, so when he comes out he won't make the mistakes he made before. You need to find out how he proposes to change, how he will find employment on his release and what he will be contributing to the marriage in the future. If he isn't willing to change or address his issues then you need to be taking the divorce papers along with you at the next visit. Then you can start playing the field, but not before. 4
goodyblue Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 My husband is in jail for a few months and I wonder if I should have an affair. I try not to think about sex etc or talk about it to him as there is nothing he can do to help. My lack of discussion about sex or intimacy has made him think I am frigid! I feel like I can't win. I have always been faithful but now I wonder if I should actually enjoy myself over the next few months and be a bit less boring and predictable. The bigger question you should ask is why are you staying with someone who is in jail? 1
road Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 An affair solves nothing. All you'll get is 3 unhappy, unfulfilled people instead of 2. What you need to be focusing on right now is your husband and how you can support him, so when he comes out he won't make the mistakes he made before. You need to find out how he proposes to change, how he will find employment on his release and what he will be contributing to the marriage in the future. If he isn't willing to change or address his issues then you need to be taking the divorce papers along with you at the next visit. Then you can start playing the field, but not before. If this post is true then there is something broken in you. Get a toy and three months worth of batteries. If you are here for fun. Get a life. There is never a reason to have an affair. That aside what happens if you get an incurable STD? Or knocked up by the OM? Even if those things do not happen. How are you going explain to your BH when he finds out? Quite often these things come out. Even 20 years later. 1
oldshirt Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 since your other posts talks about you being angry for him going to jail and that you don't love him and that you disagree on everything and that he has said he never liked the sex and that you shouldn't be together after he gets out, Is this post about getting permission from others to move on with your life or is it about permission to have fun without him until he gets out?? 1
amaysngrace Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 Get a divorce. No one will fault you for leaving a guy that's imprisoned but being a cheater puts you into a whole other category. Take the high road.
BetrayedH Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 Stay faithful and fix your marriage or get a divorce. It's up to you. If you choose instead to have an affair, you'll have made an unethical, illogical, unhealthy, and destructive choice that probably goes against your own moral standards (and unless you plan on giving your husband a vote, you'll get to own that crappy choice all by yourself).
thummper Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 I think the answer to your question, MissT, would relate to your own moral code. How do you feel about infidelity? Do you love your husband? Will you be eaten up with guilt if you should chose to cheat on him? Was your marriage a happy one? Do you have a very strong sex drive? How will you feel if he should discover your cheating? These are all things you should be thinking about. If your marriage is very shaky and your love for him has dwindled, maybe you should divorce BEFORE you have an affair. Think about it carefully.
janedoe67 Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 Get a divorce. No one will fault you for leaving a guy that's imprisoned but being a cheater puts you into a whole other category. Take the high road. This. I don;t know why he is in jail, but it doesn't matter. Nothing on earth is worse than cheating. 1
BetrayedH Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 Nothing on earth is worse than cheating. Try pushing your spouse out the door, having her fall and get injured. Nothing on earth is worse than being an abuser. But the point (from you in particular, Jane) is well-taken. Once you cheat, good luck ever winning another argument again. For what it's worth, I'm sorry it ended up that way for you.
painfullyobvious Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 Whats he in jail for? If it is serious like assault, domestic issues, etc. mot sure upsetting him is the best plan. If you have to ask if you should have an affair I think you need attention. Who would ask such a question? What kind of a response do you expect here? If I give you the go ahead to have an affair would you take my advice? Me a stranger who does not know you and has no investment in your life. Don't cheat. If you have to ask this question and are serious you are actually ahead of most cheaters they just do it. End the relationship, suggest that your husband work on himself to figure out how your lives ended in the situation you find yourselves currently in. I hope for the best for you.
peruano99 Posted January 20, 2014 Posted January 20, 2014 Not sure if this is a serious thread.... Leave your husband or boyfriend and then do what you want. 1
road Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 (edited) Conjugal visit. That is all. You spell like old McDonald: Cow: C O W ---- E I E I O. Besides your bad spelling your advice is just as bad. How is the OP going on a visit to the jungle going to help when her old man can not go because he is already on vacation in the big house? You know the house, with the water view, up the river? Some people they should think before they keyboard. Edited January 21, 2014 by road
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