ava10 Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 After I was completely surprised at how much help I received at my last thread, I decided to ask everyone's opinion about a bigger situation in my life. When I met my current boyfriend a year ago, we became inseparable. A couple weeks after hanging out, my parents told me they decided to cut him out of my life. I was 19 years old, and attending college. They said they didn't think he was good for me and I deserved better. I told them it was my decision, not theirs. Unfortunately, because they are paying for my college, they threatened to pull me out of school. After blocking him on my phone and on Facebook, they monitored me to make sure I wasn't texting him. They would come in the dead of night and take my phone to read my text messages. A couple weeks later, I convinced them to let me see him. After they found out he had oral sex with his ex-gf, they MADE me break up with him again because they thought he was the spawn of satan. After a few more times of making me break up with him and not allowed to text him, I snuck behind my parents back and texted him for months on end. One night, my mom came into my room when I was asleep and took my phone to read my texts. She saw I was texting him, and not only normal conversation, but some pretty bad things as well. They threatened to throw me in the mental institution because they thought "I was changing." "You would never betray us, Cari. He's changing you." I had never had a serious boyfriend. I'm an only child. I had always been an angel. But, I was growing up. Now, to this day, they do not think we are together or seeing each other. They have MADE me return all of his things, even though he's given them back. I am 20, but I am not allowed to see him or else I will be pulled out of college. Opinions/help??
amaysngrace Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 Your parents were right...he cheated on you because oral is sex. Take your parents' opinion out of it and think for yourself. You do deserve someone better than him, someone who won't cheat on you. 1
Grumpybutfun Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 Option 2. Take out loans, move to dorm, get a part time job and make your own decisions. G 5
Author ava10 Posted January 19, 2014 Author Posted January 19, 2014 Your parents were right...he cheated on you because oral is sex. Take your parents' opinion out of it and think for yourself. You do deserve someone better than him, someone who won't cheat on you. No no no no, he didn't cheat on me! He had oral sex with her years ago when they were dating! They had just found out about it!
deathandtaxes Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 Poor parents. Thinking they can control their child's behavior. Instead of teaching their child to think for herself so she can make her own decisions in life, they decide to use money as a tool. For shame. For shame. Sorry you have such inept parents, OP. But you have to decide now if you want them to have veto authority on guys you date until you graduate college. Or just date behind their backs and do a better job of hiding your communication - which is really what they're teaching you to do. Or stake out on your own and take out a lot of student loans and find jobs to help pay for schooling and living. 1
Eivuwan Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 As my boyfriend says, it's time to cut the umbilical cord. If you don't want them controlling you for the rest of your life, you will have to become financially independent. Or you can just continue lying to them and hiding things. It's your choice. 2
Untouchable_Fire Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 Any particular reason your parents don't like him?
Els Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 They would come in the dead of night and take my phone to read my text messages. -- because they thought he was the spawn of satan. -- They threatened to throw me in the mental institution because they thought "I was changing." This is excessive and worrisome behaviour on your parents' part. IMO you need to get out of their grasp - as quick as you can, before they try and reel you back in. It isn't even about the boy anymore; regardless of whether or not he is good for you or whether or not you should break up with him, your parents sound very possessive and controlling. They are the main priority here to deal with. I am 20, but I am not allowed to see him or else I will be pulled out of college. What are the options like for student loans where you live? If you absolutely have no other way to finish college, then IMO you should bite the bullet, let them have their way, and finish college before leaving home. If you have other options to finish college without their support then it would be worth considering that.
Mrlonelyone Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 What is their problem with him? Might they have a point? If it is just their prejudice then you need to move out of their house and try to gain some independence.
amaysngrace Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 No no no no, he didn't cheat on me! He had oral sex with her years ago when they were dating! They had just found out about it! How did they find out about it? The whole situation sounds whack. They snoop on you and you lie to them then you get found out because they snoop on you. Too bad there is no trust in your family. I think your best options are to stay there and do as they wish because you live under their roof or leave and make your own way in life but apparently you can't have your cake and eat it too. If your boyfriend is Mr Wonderful like you seem to think he is see if you two can part ways for a while so that you both don't jeopardize your future together by going against your parents' wishes. Will you both wait for each other?
Hopeful30 Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 I've been in your position, and I'm sorry to hear that. All I can tell you is that the heart wants what the heart wants. No matter what your parents tell you, you will still want to be with this man. I think it's unhealthy that they FORCED you to do something, but there's nothing you can do about that now. If you really want to be with him, then be with him. Even if it doesn't work out in the end, this is YOUR experience and YOUR life lessons to be learned. It's YOUR journey.
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