Nikki Sahagin Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 I have done this in every single relationship I've been in. It basically always ends the same, with me pushing someone away, and I am genuinely looking at how to stop this. I have certain beliefs such as: *No relationship lasts *If a man is interested in me, there is always an alterier motive * If a man is interested in me, it will not last * He is going to lie/cheat/hurt me etc. These beliefs are obviously not healthy and cause me to push away people who have done nothing wrong. I find it hard to judge anymore when I am healthily creating boundaries between myself and a person and when I am purposely pushing them away from a connection/intimacy. I met a man very recently who has been VERY in pursuit of me, texting, calling and arranging dates all the time and all I can think is: 'His interest will fade' 'He will only want sex' 'His interest isn't genuine' 'I have to protect myself' How can I stop being this way?
amaysngrace Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 It sounds like a self-esteem thing to me. How are you doing in the self love department?
Allumere Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 theraphy....seriously. I think it is common to get into these thinking patterns (I suffer from them) especially when things always go/end the same. What's the expression "Doing something the same way, over and over and expecting a different out come is the definition of insanity". It could be many things, from self-esteem or a hurt from long ago that never healed or maybe an unrealistic view of how we seem to the world vs what we really are....oh and my biggest "fail", the dreaded expectations...maybe a combination of a lot of things. Anyway, a decent therapist could help ya map it all out.
Itspointless Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 Try this psychologytest: Attachment Style and read about the style your are in. It is about the way you relate to others in relationships.
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