TT25 Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 So my boyfriend and I have been together for about three months and I have slowly been meeting some of his family. I have met more of his people than he has mine. Anyways, he told me earlier in the week that his younger sister has a birthday this week and they were probably going to do something, lunch/dinner but I didn't get an invite then. Anyways, tonight he sent me a text asking if I would like to come to the lunch tomorrow afternoon. Most of his family is going to be there, I assume. And some whom I haven't met. Do I shift my schedule and accept this invite, or pass because it's last minute. I don't want to seem like I don't want to meet his family, but at the same time I wonder why I wasn't invited from the beginning? And why do guys plan/ do things last minute?! Now I am wondering if he was contemplating inviting me or if he jus hadn't thought about it until now.
Leigh 87 Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 No, it is not a bad sign that he didn't ask you to his sisters birthday, and it is not a bad sign that he asked you last minute, either. I have dated a fair amount and I have enough friends to know what a guy acts like when he is really interested in a girl; or NOT. When it comes to family, some people such as myself, have simply been burnt too many times to just want to invite new people over to meet our parents after date one. I got sick of introducing new guys to my dad, only to have them disappear weeks later. It was embarrassing. I hated explaining to my dad that yet ANOTHER guy had left, and he would not be seeing them again. I personally wouldn't have invited my current boyfriend to meet my family or friends until a few months had passed, and I knew FOR SURE that he seemed genuinely in it for the long haul. My boyfriend, on the other hand, asked me soon after date ONE if I could please attend his 30th birthday in the upcoming weeks; to meet all his friends and family, also. ................................ You have been with him 3 months. Unless you are already close with his sister, he had no reason to want you there. It is his sister, is there a reason for him to bring his new girlfriend. His little sisters birthday is NOT a "whole family" event whereby people bring their new partners. It is not thanksgiving or his best friends wedding (it is not abnormal for men to invite their new partners of 3 months to their best friends wedding and their plus 1, or to invite them along to thanksgiving or even Christmas for lunch or dinner). .................................... Some guys, no matter how into a girl they are, they refrain from inviting the girl along to family events for the first few months. However, a guy who is truly that nuts about a girl does NOT tend to HIDE her, either. He will normally at least TELL his friends about her! He could be perfectly into you; nothing I have read is a red flag.
Author TT25 Posted January 19, 2014 Author Posted January 19, 2014 No, it is not a bad sign that he didn't ask you to his sisters birthday, and it is not a bad sign that he asked you last minute, either. I have dated a fair amount and I have enough friends to know what a guy acts like when he is really interested in a girl; or NOT. When it comes to family, some people such as myself, have simply been burnt too many times to just want to invite new people over to meet our parents after date one. I got sick of introducing new guys to my dad, only to have them disappear weeks later. It was embarrassing. I hated explaining to my dad that yet ANOTHER guy had left, and he would not be seeing them again. I personally wouldn't have invited my current boyfriend to meet my family or friends until a few months had passed, and I knew FOR SURE that he seemed genuinely in it for the long haul. My boyfriend, on the other hand, asked me soon after date ONE if I could please attend his 30th birthday in the upcoming weeks; to meet all his friends and family, also. ................................ You have been with him 3 months. Unless you are already close with his sister, he had no reason to want you there. It is his sister, is there a reason for him to bring his new girlfriend. His little sisters birthday is NOT a "whole family" event whereby people bring their new partners. It is not thanksgiving or his best friends wedding (it is not abnormal for men to invite their new partners of 3 months to their best friends wedding and their plus 1, or to invite them along to thanksgiving or even Christmas for lunch or dinner). .................................... Some guys, no matter how into a girl they are, they refrain from inviting the girl along to family events for the first few months. However, a guy who is truly that nuts about a girl does NOT tend to HIDE her, either. He will normally at least TELL his friends about her! He could be perfectly into you; nothing I have read is a red flag. Thanks Leah! I see what you are saying. I am glad that he is not hiding me and I always have a good time when I see his family. I think he's jus not a planner and maybe that's something I need to not read too much into. In the past I have been so used to the whole "you have to ask me by Tuesday if we are going to have weekend plans" but maybe that's not all that necessary sometimes.
deathandtaxes Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 That's because his other girlfriend couldn't make it! ba dum bum! Seriously - do you want to go bad enough to change your own plans? 2
d0nnivain Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 He may have thought mentioning it was the invite & the 2nd mention was a follow up. My husband did that to me early on in our relationship. I had seen a save the date magnet for his cousin's wedding on his 'fridge. A few months later I saw what had to be the invite on his desk. He never said a word & I started to worry as the date got closer. A few days before the wedding he said something about picking his mother up at the Airport. I tried to play it cool but was hurt that he hasn't asked me. When we finally talked about it he said that he just assumed I knew I was going with him. I explained that he hadn't asked me. Men don't think the way we do. If you are free & want to go, attend. If you have other plans, that's a different story. But don't play games by turning him down because you didn't like the timing of the invite.
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