Reconciliation

[xUnknown]

so any chance i get i tend to take it

 

And any time you turn her down is going to be a shock to her. If you're too busy for her, she's going to wonder about you...Why is he so busy, why doesn't he want to see me, who is he with, is he with another girl, is the other girl better looking than me, is he dating again, is someone else more important than me?????

 

See how that works?

[Simon Phoenix]

so any chance i get i tend to take it

 

And this is why you will fail. It doesn't build attraction in the least. Women like guys with things going on. And "the guy she fell in love with" didn't have to try to be anything. He was that guy, a guy she loved. Right now you are trying so hard to project yourself in a certain light to manipulate her, and she'll catch on if she hasn't already. Being a better you means trying to improve yourself for yourself -- not just going through the motions to try to manipulate your ex-girlfriend. Even if you did get her back, you'll just revert back to the way you were and you'll break up again.

 

I know you have no interest in listening to anyone on this website so I'm wasting my breath, but you need to take a break and get your sh*t together.

[BHA]

its going to be hard since im unemployed and currently looking for work but i think once i get work, ill be able to follow all of you guys advice. thanks i really appreciate it all.

[Simon Phoenix]

its going to be hard since im unemployed and currently looking for work but i think once i get work, ill be able to follow all of you guys advice. thanks i really appreciate it all.

 

If you are unemployed, then you should be hunting for work, not sitting around waiting on your ex.

[pickflicker]

its going to be hard since im unemployed and currently looking for work but i think once i get work, ill be able to follow all of you guys advice. thanks i really appreciate it all.

 

Yeah, I have to ask, why do you have to be employed to maintain NC with an ex?

 

Doesn't matter if you've got to lie about being busy.

[BHA]

i am looking for work as i have previously stated? and its just easier when you are actually busy, for me it is anyway, is it not natural if you are sitting around all day to think about your ex

[pickflicker]

i am looking for work as i have previously stated? and its just easier when you are actually busy, for me it is anyway, is it not natural if you are sitting around all day to think about your ex

 

If you think about her, that's fine. Just don't let it get in the way of job searching and don't contact her, or respond to contact.

[flight E]

Simon pheonix where have u bee.

 

OP, dude "the guy she fell for loves her and will always love her" seriously?

And you think because in the movies this sounds romantic it works in the real world.

 

From all you have said you still needy. It kills attraction completely. An ex broke up with me two weeks to her birthday. I didn't call, text happy birthday or anything and I don't know, she had a way of knowing I was travelling all over the place. Did she hate me no. She called me after two months to meet up. The ones I did all the movie stuff with after the breakup never called me again to date.

 

It's life, it just the way it is. If you want this girl back. You just have to moveon. It's the only workable advise there is.

[BHA]

we bumped into eachother and had a chat, she said she gets really upset when she see's me and she still has feelings for me. she said she hates the thought of me being with another woman etc.

[Simon Phoenix]

we bumped into eachother and had a chat, she said she gets really upset when she see's me and she still has feelings for me. she said she hates the thought of me being with another woman etc.

 

Stop talking to her dude. Seriously.

[BHA]

she also said we have unfinished business.

[Simon Phoenix]

she also said we have unfinished business.

 

Don't care, doesn't matter. If you "bumped" into her, any contact besides a quick "hey" or "how are things?" is too much. She broke up with you, she has no right to tell you what business you still have left.

[BC1980]

she also said we have unfinished business.

 

WTF? The business was finished when she broke up with you. That's pretty d@mn arrogant to claim you have unfinished business.

[flight E]

Op u can see the drama you already in. Analyse everything she says. Was this how you were when u met. For a relationship to work, you have to flow at the same wave length. Can you honestly say she is somewhere analyzing what you said. If you truly think so then continue. But if you don't please back off. There is nothing more attractive in a guy than the ability to walk away

[Darren Steez]

yes i understand that we are not together so technically she can do what she wants and i have to accept that. i just need to be who she fell in love with in order for her to want to be with me again i suppose? turning down hanging out would be a start the odd time? thing is we dont hang out that often. so any chance i get i tend to take it

 

Why? Don't you have a life? That's the point. You're not together, so essentially you're a booty call, no? You trust me on this, there will come a time and a guy with whom she'll want a relationship with then she will freeze you out completely.

 

You're thinking you need to be the guy she fell in love with but you're the guy she fell out of love with. You heard the phrase if you love something then let it go? You've got to let her go, maybe it will be the end but would you rather have scraps or walk away with your head held high? Another phrase, absence makes the heart grow fonder. Whenever she "misses" you, she booty calls you and you jump at it like an excited puppy. That's not a man she respects, that's a boy she controls? You see where I'm coming from?

 

Look up pick up artistry on the internet, it will show you what you're doing wrong from a psychological aspect with regards to what a women expects and respects. It's not cannon by a long shot but it does have some cogent theories.

[SoundedPlum]

Why? Don't you have a life? That's the point. You're not together, so essentially you're a booty call, no? You trust me on this, there will come a time and a guy with whom she'll want a relationship with then she will freeze you out completely.

 

You're thinking you need to be the guy she fell in love with but you're the guy she fell out of love with. You heard the phrase if you love something then let it go? You've got to let her go, maybe it will be the end but would you rather have scraps or walk away with your head held high? Another phrase, absence makes the heart grow fonder. Whenever she "misses" you, she booty calls you and you jump at it like an excited puppy. That's not a man she respects, that's a boy she controls? You see where I'm coming from?

 

Look up pick up artistry on the internet, it will show you what you're doing wrong from a psychological aspect with regards to what a women expects and respects. It's not cannon by a long shot but it does have some cogent theories.

 

Please listen to this. You are not the guy she fell in love with, because you're clinging onto her as if she's the last person on earth. Give her space, make her miss you a little. THAT is what might bring her back. You jumping at every chance you get to spend with her is NOT going to make her want you any more than she does now. Why buy the milk when you can get the cow for free?

[AlphaC]

can everyone stop telling me to move on, all i want is some sort of advice to get her back, not advice on moving on. she still loves me i know feelings are there, so please just advice on getting her back or say nothing. thanks.

 

You are fooling yourself, there is someone else for sure. Whether she found him or not, she is telling you clearly that you are not for her. Move on, this girl is gone and the more you stick around the more evidence she will have that you are a loser with no other options. Find a woman that wants you and is clear about her feelings.

 

Time to MOVE ON BIG BOY!!