diddysmit Posted January 11, 2005 Posted January 11, 2005 Been dating a guy for a over a year now. Great person, sincere, 45 years old, divorced was married for 21 years, has a few eccentricities i overlook (as he does me, I'm sure) but....he "can't" say I love you. Has a total block against the word. Once whispered it when explaining that he has never said it to a non-family member, and its not something you tell someone until you are "ready to marry" but couldnt even say the word outloud in the explanation. I love him very much and he knows that. His actions show me that he loves me too, but I find this to be very disturbing the fact he can't say I love you. I accept him as he is, but the plain and simple truth is, it would be very hard to go through life with someone you love and not hear it spoken back to you. He says he is "messed up" because of his divorce. He's awesome, but I'm just not sure what I'm going to do. anyone with similar experience, and I mean NEVER said "I love you". I just find this to be so odd. Thanks
Hund1976 Posted January 11, 2005 Posted January 11, 2005 There must be some big issue in his head that is preventing it. I would suggest he get some counseling to see if that can help.
alphamale Posted January 11, 2005 Posted January 11, 2005 some people are more stingy with those three words and some more liberal. personally, I think that they should be uttered less often so that when you do utter them they mean more. he was in a long marriage for 21 yrs and is prob telling the truth about being messed up cause of it. i would rather have someone who shows love in their actions and never says the words than someone who says the words often but does not show it in their actions.
Zoot Posted January 11, 2005 Posted January 11, 2005 If someone links the words to a person they also once loved and then had to live with it all falling apart, its possible the association isn't a pleasant memory and he choses not to say it again. Give him some alternate words to use that's only used by the two of you which you both understand as meaning the same as 'I love you' without having to use those exact words. I have a couple of phrases from a past relationship I would never use again with another person either.
delishious Posted June 11, 2005 Posted June 11, 2005 Hello, I was searching on past subjects, and yours speaks loud and clear to me. I have a very similar situation. Boyfriend of 1 year who can't say I love you. I am confused, hurt, feeling rejected and wondering what to do. Everyone says he is a true catch, but its hard when someone you love does not validate your own feelings with the three little words. His actions all point towards the fact he does love me, but I am a skeptic due to past failed relationships which had the words "i love you". I am looking for advice - how did this work out for you?
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