Jamie11 Posted January 18, 2014 Posted January 18, 2014 (edited) So my ex broke up with me almost 2 months ago and i can honestly say i dont love him anymore but im always thinking about him mostly because of the pain he put me through .The pain went away after a while but i still can not stop thinking about him which gets me really frustrated. My ex and i met in high school and we became friends after my freshman year i moved so i went to a diff school after that there wasnt alot of communication.Then when senior year came along we started talking all day everyday we became really great friends and i ended up being his prom date for his school prom ,which let me tell you prom was amazing .He had told me it was one of the best nights because of me . I knew from the start he felt something for me but i didnt just because i thought of us as real great firends.After a while i started getting feelings for him and they became really strong.I had admitted to him a couple months later after we graduated high school that i had a crush on him and he had told me he has a crush on me since freshman year .I was in great shock just because he was such a shy guy and he didnt really reach out to me after i moved.So we got together and everything was great .After 2 months of us going out i decided to end it because he had broken my heart on the day of our 2 months i had told him i couldnt be with him anymore cause we didnt really see each other alot and i was afraid that he would lose feelings for me . He had begged me not to and i told him he was right and i was stupid for thinking that then day before that i actually broke up with him cause i felt like he put his friends before me i mean i get it they are your friends and i have them too but he never understood that i wanted to be with him and only him and that we didnt see each other alot.The day after i broke up with him i couldnt stand it i texted him telling him that i never wanted to be apart from him ever again cause i truly loved him .He told me he wasnt perfect but he was going to change .After that it was ok but it started going down hill i felt like everytime he was making an excuse not to see me or something and let me tell you i would put him in front of everyone my family,friends everyone! I would surprise him at his house when he apprently was busy and sometimes he would go days without talking to me and his excuse was work. Than on halloween we had plans and guess what he canceled on me i was so tired of him canceling on me all the time that i got so angry and told him his 32 year old sister who was always going with us on dates that she was a third wheel.That same day i had i found out he went to go see his ex at the hospital who was giving birth .He didn't tell me and it pissed me off and he said because i was going to get well duh of course i was she is your ex you guys went out for 1 week and went out 3 years ago its not fair.I have never ever trusted that girl ever because he had told me she was a hoe and she was the worst person that ever walked into his life.OK so you say that but yet you still visit her at the hospital because shes your friend? Shes your ex who did you wrong and you cancel on me on this day cause something came up but yet you had time to see your ex the same day.He got so angry with me that he broke it off with me.I was devastated and i waited a week after we broke up and i called him and i told him i was sorry for what i said about his sister.I had also gone to see him at his work to personally apologize again about his sister and to fix what had to be fix that say he had told me that couples of 2 years break up all the time like its nothing and so many other rude things and yet i didnt reconsider those because i just wanted him back with me .So we got back together me thinking that its going to be so much better but nope i was so wrong ! The same things kept happening again he wouldn't text me and we wouldn't hang out .I wouldn't say anything because i didn't want him to dump me ,But one day i got really tired of it that i decided to text him and ask him if he could come over because i needed to talk to him . He refused and broke up with me again he said that he wasn't the right guy for me.Also that i was too pretty and could find someone better.I called him and with everything i had left in me i told him that i had found out that he have been seeing his ex again ever since we got back together.I told him not to leave me and that i loved him in tears.I was insanely crying over him on the phone and i told him how come he didn't wanna stay that i was going to change for him and not get mad when he does stupid things.He had told me no because i got mad to easily and that he didn't love me and that everything changed after what i said about his sister.I'm not stupid know that's not the reason .His ex kept on coming back all the time and he kept on seeing her even with the baby and all like really? She didnt care about you she played you and me who i loved him with all my heart and did every possible thing to keep him . I would always be there for him even when he would take his stress out on me everything! Like i said i dont love him anymore but i just keep thinking about him and one day i really hope that he comes back crying to me telling me he was wrong and i hope i have the guts to tell him no.I want him to feel what it feels likes to be not wanted.People keep on telling me that he still visits his ex like wow you are out of your mind and she just keeps on playiing with you.Whats funny is that his ex started following me on every social network that i have like girl we are over, you got what you wanted leave me alone! Edited January 19, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Heroeric Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 I understand your anger towards him, but its worth noting if you were over him you wouldn't want anything to do with him, which includes revenge. I see the pain in your post, and that being said I can really see why you want to get back at him, but it isn'talways worth it. My ex screwed me over big time. been the biggest part of my life for 2 years, but constantly she attacked me verbally and emotionally. Even came out to me as a man in a women's body, but I accepted and loved him no matter how bad things got. But constantly I was attacked, constantly I was put on the back burne, constantly lied to and he even left me 3 times, yet iI kept letting him back into my life. Every promise made by him was broken. I know how you feel, the anger and the want to make them see the pain they caused you, but acting out of spite will only make you the smaller person. Find another way to get that anger out, taking it out on them will only hurt you. So many times I wanted to snap back at him, but majority of the time I was able to stop myself by finding ways to restrain myself and just be the bigger person. Thats what it's about in the long run. You will find someone soon enough who will appreciate you deeply, much more then he did.
Author Jamie11 Posted January 19, 2014 Author Posted January 19, 2014 Why are they like that though ?They see that we accept them for who they are and give them all the possible love but yet they cant see past our flaws ?Did your ex ever apologize when she came back? Because mine never did it was always me coming back to him even when i broke up with him . I always had to admit i was wrong and when i did he would admit he was wrong.The last time he broke up with me i like basically forced him to apologize but i feel like it wasnt a sincere apology i feel like he only apologized because i had found out he was seeing his ex more and doing other stupid things.So basically i feel like hes just sorry he got caught . Another thing i just understand why he wants to be with that hoe like she just played you and he even admitted it and he just deleted me out his life when i was there for him 24/7
amaysngrace Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 You should be glad that you can open your heart to others and love so deeply. Not everybody can. It sounds like you're in the anger phase. This too shall pass.
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