DontBreakEven Posted January 18, 2014 Posted January 18, 2014 When someone breaks up with you, I get that there really is no point in having drawn out talks about it everyday and whatnot .. they've made their decision, and they don't want to have to go over it over and over again when that just causes hurt and agony for both parties. I rationally get that. But for someone you spent almost every waking minute of your life with for the past 2, 3, 5 years .. however long it may have been .. to just be gone in a blink of an eye .. packed their stuff .. walked out the door .. no contact .. that's it. The most important person in your life on Monday, to a stranger on Tuesday. It's really like they died. But even worse, they didn't. They are still out there .. they chose this. It's the cruelest cut-off I could possibly imagine. For me, that's one of the worse aspects of all it. It's cruel and unusual and it hurts like hell. Where is my best friend??? 5
emi Posted January 18, 2014 Posted January 18, 2014 Life isnt fair. I learned it the hard way too Break up sucks,if you hang here long enough you will see new posts everyday, about how sweet time they had, he/she promise this and that bla bla bla. But the end is always the same. I know you in great shock. But it will go away soon, then you will feel angry, regretful.. alot of emotional stage to go through. Just keep on going. You arent alone 2
LostConfused123 Posted January 18, 2014 Posted January 18, 2014 I know exactly how you feel it's so weird isn't it. Weird is not even the right word. It's beyond sad and agonizing.Even those aren't strong enough words. I don't think there are any words to describe how it feels to have to give up someone you love and care about. It almost seems "unnatural" For me, everything was great, beyond great actually. I was so happy and that just made the ending even more agonizing. I was shattered! But, the good news is, I am almost 3 months NC and IT DOES GET EASIER AND BETTER. Literally never thought that would happen. I mean NEVER!!! But it did. . . . I still have bad days but I'm beginning to have good days too. I'm so sorry for your pain. Message me any time you want if you need someone to talk to. ((hugs!!)) 1
rosedl Posted January 18, 2014 Posted January 18, 2014 It is a strange experience. We were together about two year. Two weeks before he started to pull his commitment phobic run, he was saying forever and how lucky we were. He called me his soul mate. Two weeks later after we got into it about a long standing issue, he started backtracking again (broke up with me once before and did the same thing) and then took space. And, then more space. And, finally I am like, I can't take all this space, and wrote him a long letter about how this is not about us but about his fears around relationships and intimacy and he needs to get help and stop blaming me. His response was to blame me more. He took no responsibility for any of it and dismissed everything about his own behavior that goes way outside this relationship. We went from being super close and planning a life and renovations to his home and talking about our future to.....GO AWAY. Regardless of the fact there is nothing to do when someone shuts off but pick up the pieces and go on, it is really disconcerting and disturbing to have your 'best friend' (right) just disappear. I have been in break ups where it was clear that the relationship was irreconcilable and it was painful but it wasn't confusing in this same way as if you wake up and feel you are still in the old life because it was such a 180 and so incongruous with the way the relationship was just days before. It does feel unnatural. And, it is like a death. Accepting a death of relationship. I am vacillating all over. Denial, anger grief, depression, and glimpes of acceptance. Not a linear process 1
sidney2718 Posted January 18, 2014 Posted January 18, 2014 This is half of an awful story. There is no easy way to break up and break ups are never fun. But if one goes over to the Infidelity section, most folks there will assure you that finding that your partner is unfaithful is the worst thing in the world. They claim that a break up is far more humane. Would most of you on this thread be happier if your partner had cheated? I somehow doubt it. Which doesn't make a break up any good either. 1
True Gent Posted January 18, 2014 Posted January 18, 2014 I relate to all of this. It hurts like nothing else, it probably would be easier to deal with if they'd died. No words really describe how it feels to try accepting your best friend and person you love so much has decided to just disappear out of your life. There are so many emotions to go through, sadness, longing, anger, self blame... It goes on and on. I've had a good day out with friends today, it was really good. But I come home to an empty house and I miss her so much. It will pass eventually, so they say... 2
David87 Posted January 18, 2014 Posted January 18, 2014 (edited) Coming home to an empty house .... thats the worst. Fear in trusting people again, it's not easy but that what makes us strong I guess. Starting all over again with a new partner, going on endless dates until you find someone you like and even the it isn't the same. I feel so stupid now, I could have done so much more for my girl but i didn't. It sucks. But I know that now she is happy with her new boyfriend and I really hope that he can give her all that I couldn't. I will always love her. Edited January 18, 2014 by David87 1
rosedl Posted January 18, 2014 Posted January 18, 2014 This is half of an awful story. There is no easy way to break up and break ups are never fun. But if one goes over to the Infidelity section, most folks there will assure you that finding that your partner is unfaithful is the worst thing in the world. They claim that a break up is far more humane. Would most of you on this thread be happier if your partner had cheated? I somehow doubt it. Which doesn't make a break up any good either. Apples and oranges. I have been through infidelity. Infidelity sucks. But, it gives a reason, and break ups where the other person is one day the love of your life and then they are just gone because they changed their minds are maddening. They aren't even leaving you for another person, they just don't want to be with YOU. Harsh. It doesn't matter. One type of pain isn't worse or better then another type of pain and what would be easier/harder for one person might not be easier/harder for the next.
LLQ1986 Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 This is half of an awful story. There is no easy way to break up and break ups are never fun. But if one goes over to the Infidelity section, most folks there will assure you that finding that your partner is unfaithful is the worst thing in the world. They claim that a break up is far more humane. Would most of you on this thread be happier if your partner had cheated? I somehow doubt it. Which doesn't make a break up any good either. My ex confessed to me that he fell for another girl... he feels sorry and guilty and wanted to 'make it up to me' but he doesn't want me back; just want us to be friends if that's okay with me. It's so hard when I thought everything was fine and we were meant to be together for a long long time. Not sure if this is the worst part of all, I don't hate him. I'm just mourning over my loss...too much of memories, promises and hope. 4th day of NC...everyday i'm trying to make myself happy again... I keep telling myself, I was happy before meeting him, why can't I be happy now. It takes time to heal I totally get it but it's easier said than done.
Recommended Posts