Sharpy777 Posted January 18, 2014 Posted January 18, 2014 Hi everyone, First of all I have to say that I've been reading through some of these threads for a while now to see how other people are coping with their LDR. Anyway I would like to hear your advice on my situation, since I feel like my girlfriend is slowly but surely disappearing from my life. We have been together for a year now, of which 9 months in a LDR, oh and we are both 25. Maybe it's important to note that in the beginning I was planning to move to her country after 6 months of LDR, but due to unfortunate personal circumstances that had to be delayed and there is no clear plan for the future yet. In the beginning of the LDR we used to have contact through messaging (whatsapp, wechat) everyday and then a videochat at least once a week. Over time this has slowly but surely been decreasing with its crescendo being the last few weeks with maybe one videochat every two weeks and barely any messaging. I have told her repeatedly that she should put more effort into it. Whenever I say this she is always telling me that she's making an effort too, that she misses me too, etc., but she's just busy. Then I said there's always 15 mins a day she could spare and in the rare case that isn't possible then she could at least tell me goodnight or goodmorning. But even though I told her this nothing changes. I'm not sure what to do, I don't really want to lose her but this way that is definitely going to happen. If not because of her then because of me because I can't continue like this. Any advice or thoughts on what to do?
TaraMaiden Posted January 18, 2014 Posted January 18, 2014 This is slowly fading to die a natural death. Hate to say it, but chances are there's someone else. Communication be damned. Sorry, but in brief - I'd end it before she does.
nomadic_butterfly Posted January 18, 2014 Posted January 18, 2014 Hi everyone, First of all I have to say that I've been reading through some of these threads for a while now to see how other people are coping with their LDR. Anyway I would like to hear your advice on my situation, since I feel like my girlfriend is slowly but surely disappearing from my life. We have been together for a year now, of which 9 months in a LDR, oh and we are both 25. Maybe it's important to note that in the beginning I was planning to move to her country after 6 months of LDR, but due to unfortunate personal circumstances that had to be delayed and there is no clear plan for the future yet. In the beginning of the LDR we used to have contact through messaging (whatsapp, wechat) everyday and then a videochat at least once a week. Over time this has slowly but surely been decreasing with its crescendo being the last few weeks with maybe one videochat every two weeks and barely any messaging. I have told her repeatedly that she should put more effort into it. Whenever I say this she is always telling me that she's making an effort too, that she misses me too, etc., but she's just busy. Then I said there's always 15 mins a day she could spare and in the rare case that isn't possible then she could at least tell me goodnight or goodmorning. But even though I told her this nothing changes. I'm not sure what to do, I don't really want to lose her but this way that is definitely going to happen. If not because of her then because of me because I can't continue like this. Any advice or thoughts on what to do? Awww...this is sad but realistically though, three months of a real life foundation isn't a very long time. I think she's beating around the bush but look at it from her perspective though: you meet a guy, you connect, he gives you a promise of moving to where you are at a specific time, then that completely changes. I know the extenuating circumstances may have been beyond your control but now you don't even know when you will be at the same place at the same time. I take it you have not seen each other in the remaining 6 months either. Sorry but it seems you are growing apart and without a specific date/time frame where the distance is behind you, she might be exploring local options. You are kind of like a dream to her now. Looked hopeful but so distant. It's too much work to not have light at the end of the tunnel. Most people just cannot handle long distance and not knowing when it will be short distance just makes your relationship even more "out of reach" to her so unless she's deeply in love with you, highly likely she might stray. Just ask her how she feels about the distance and if she is being tempted by local guys. It's a long shot but totally worth a try.
justwhoiam Posted January 18, 2014 Posted January 18, 2014 Does she have access to wifi or 24h internet connection? If not, I understand the problem. But if she does, she has no excuse. Is she working? Studying? If she doesn't have 24h internet connection and you are sure there's no one else in the picture... you could get her a smartphone with a plan including internet connection, so that she can use a chat/messenger/skype (you name it) whenever and she doesn't have to count her texts. I too think that it's going to die a natural death on these grounds.
d0nnivain Posted January 18, 2014 Posted January 18, 2014 When all you have is communication if that dwindles then your relationship is ending. Put it out of your misery.
Recommended Posts