SJChris Posted January 18, 2014 Posted January 18, 2014 Hello, all. My gf of 4 years randomly broke up with me the day after Christmas. She said she "sees me as a friend now." I believe she is now involved with a guy exactly like me. The new dude and I have almost the exact same interests..except he's not a hockey nut. Furthermore, she's trying to keep it a secret. Makes no sense to me how she could see me as a friend and date this guy..who is almost exactly like me. I wasn't a tool or anything, I always treated her good. Any thoughts?
h0000 Posted January 18, 2014 Posted January 18, 2014 some people like certain type. they go for the same type. There's nothing to wonder. yet even though ur the same type does not mean you are the same. the new guys doesn't have the traits she hates about you.
emi Posted January 18, 2014 Posted January 18, 2014 How you know if whether he is ''exactly like you'' or not? I believe interest isnt a big deal for a girl when it come to dating. Sure its a bonus but a girl can rarely find any dude who is interested in clothes and make up and vice versa. When a girl dates, its about the vibe you create when you are around her. If you make her feel relaxed, comfortable, loved, she falls for it, trust me, she doesnt give a damn about you like to play chess or basketball. So its not what her new bf's interest, its how he deal with her. Sure you may think that he has same trait with you, people tend to like something familiar, but it doesnt mean she is taking you as a standard and pick her new mate base on it. If it is her intention, why dont she just date the original version? Stop caring what type of dude she dates, you making your world around her, while she probably doesnt want anything to do with you.
Kevin_D Posted January 18, 2014 Posted January 18, 2014 (edited) Haha, yeah, I'm pretty sure my ex does the same thing. I think they do this on purpose. They want to enter the honeymoon stage again, but at the same time they realise that they will miss you, so they try to fill the void by dating someone with simular traits. Nowadays young women seem to believe that if the honeymoon stage doesn't last forever, it was not meant to be. And yes, of course there's a different vibe with the new guy. We once created that vibe as well. But the thing is, it's hard to be mysterious after 4 years together. Edited January 18, 2014 by Kevin_D
strive Posted January 18, 2014 Posted January 18, 2014 Nowadays young women seem to believe that if the honeymoon stage doesn't last forever, it was not meant to be. This is sad but true. Lots of men believe that as well. 1
FortunateSon Posted January 18, 2014 Posted January 18, 2014 From what I understand, my ex has went for someone the exact OPPOSITE of me. I have been told her new guy is physically very unattractive and a doormat/pushover which is the opposite of me. I know everyone says looks don't matter, but I don't think that is entirely true. My ex is a self-professed control freak with a very controlling personality and didn't like that I didn't just fall into line with whatever she wanted. Maybe she has found happiness with a doormat/pushover that she can finally control?! I am glad I am not him
Simon Phoenix Posted January 18, 2014 Posted January 18, 2014 It doesn't mean what you want it to mean unfortunately. A lot of people date similar types, it doesn't mean they are harboring feelings for one of the people they used to date within that type. I know I have a type.
Never Again Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 This is sad but true. Lots of men believe that as well. I think it's a pretty common misconception, especially for people who're used to dating or, by incident or design, have had loads of short term relationships. Folks end up associating those feelings with love, and assume that when they're over, love is too. It's like the people that give up when they're bored. I think a lot of forced dumpers come from this group. One side is bored, but decides that boredom means they're not with "the one"...because "the one" would just match you, your interests and your energy level, and you'd NEVER be bored. People stop trying, feelings cool off, and one side eventually feels forced to leave because it becomes to unbearable. It doesn't mean what you want it to mean unfortunately. A lot of people date similar types, it doesn't mean they are harboring feelings for one of the people they used to date within that type. I know I have a type. Yeah. It can mean lots of things. Maybe the small differences between him and you make the difference. Or maybe he really IS exactly like you, but because he's new, he's exciting. Or maybe he's wildly different in a certain way that you can't see. Doesn't really reflect on you at all.
JDPT Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 Nowadays young women seem to believe that if the honeymoon stage doesn't last forever, it was not meant to be. Oh older women too, I've experienced this not too long ago.
carl777 Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 ...and once the honeymoon stage ends, they call back. At least, this is what my ex did (and I fell for it).
Tayla Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 Hello, all. My gf of 4 years randomly broke up with me the day after Christmas. She said she "sees me as a friend now." I believe she is now involved with a guy exactly like me. The new dude and I have almost the exact same interests..except he's not a hockey nut. Furthermore, she's trying to keep it a secret. Makes no sense to me how she could see me as a friend and date this guy..who is almost exactly like me. I wasn't a tool or anything, I always treated her good. Any thoughts? Ohh my goodness! Maybe he is your twin and you were separated at birth! I read about cases like this! Brief thought: She is your Ex. Focus on yourself and your life now, you will get thru this....
thedmc Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 I agree with Emi 100%. Just because you have similar interest, like millions upon millions of others do, doesn't mean you are the same person. If you were then she'd still be with you not him. Best thing you can do now if just get over her. It may suck for a while but it gets better. Chances are she may have been interested in him/seeing him for a while because I highly doubt any person who dates someone for over 4 years would break up with them out the blue then almost immediately date someone else.
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