Princess3hunna Posted January 18, 2014 Posted January 18, 2014 (edited) Hi, I found this forum while googling about the NC process and figured I should join for inquiry and mutual support. Brief Story: My ex and I have been off/on for 8 months now. Our longest break up was about a month and we had LC in between that time. Once we got back it felt like the honeymoon period all over again, we had our occasional squabbles but overall we were so in love again. We got back together in Late Oct/ Early Nov. In early December he confessed to catching feelings for a girl he introduced as being his "friend". I had suspected something fishy was going on beforehand but he's never given me a reason not to trust him as far as an affair so I let my doubt subside. But once I learned they have been talking intimately behind my back I instantly broke up with him, he begged for me back and promised it was just lust and infatuation. He told me he didn't want to give up all the hard work we put into our relationship and I didn't either so I immediately took him back. Couple weeks go by and in the course of them I was very reserved and suspicious of him, he promised me they didn't have sex and it was more of an emotional affair than physical (which is worse IMO). Soon as I begin to feel better about things between us and the side chick feels out the picture, he drops another bomb on me that they indeed had sex and he never really cut her off. He said he was tired of feeling guilty and wanted to tell me the full truth. He told me this like 2 days after New Year's Eve. In short, It all resulted in a messy love triangle break up. 2-3 days later were back to talking and we both agree to try and slowly work through this bc we don't wanna lose each other entirely. Those couple days we spent together it was me bombarding him with questions, making him feel guilty, venting, crying, nagging but I didn't wanna let go and he told me he wanted to listen. After his comforting we had sex like last Thursday, last I talked to him was Last Saturday. He took his time replying to my texts then finally that night told me we should just give it up. "I needs space" "you deserve better" "I'm confused" that whole bit. I begged and pleaded for him not to do this ended up looking pathetic. He said he wants to be friends then as the convo calmed down he randomly brings up how good some song he was listening to was and I was pissed. It's like he completely disregarded everything in the last hour. I ignored the text and a few hours later he baits me with the guilt trip "Idk why you hold sh*t from me" which was complete bs but my gullible ass quickly responded "what??" Of course he didn't text back. The next day I asked him again what the hell he was talking about- no response. I'm so sick of this emotional roller coaster ride he has put me through this past month and a half and have no idea where it came from. I initiated NC on Monday, tomorrow makes day 6 but it's so hard. I hate him and want him back all at the same time. I often wonder if he misses me as well, then I'm afraid he doesn't because I know he's hanging out with that girl he cheated on me with. Why do I want this piece of sh*t back so bad?? what goes through a mans mind (the dumper) during NC? Mind you were both very young we're both 21 and this is my first real official boyfriend after HS and the worst heartbreak. The Angel on my shoulder is saying I'm doing NC for ME. To heal, grow, and move on. The devil is only being vindictive to show and prove independence and make him chase me back. Edited January 18, 2014 by Princess3hunna
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