Sakura Blossom Posted January 11, 2005 Posted January 11, 2005 Hello. It's me again. Just full of thought... I'm going to be 21 years old soon. And I have a serious boyfriend. I guess I have never been..what do you call it..a "sticky" person? As in whenever I am in a relationship with someone I don't feel the need to be with them 24/7 every day of the week, all the time. And when we're not together I don't need the guy to be calling me all the time either. I call when I feel like it, and I am glad when he calls, great. Actually I have never really thought about it. My bf calls me or text messages me at least once a day, we chat for about a couple minutes, how you doin? what's up, etc. And then we go about our business. There are some days when he doesn't call at all. Obviously I notice that he doesn't call, but it doesn't bother me or anything. I just keep doing my thing and then if I feel like it I call him up. Or not. And we see eachother, average 3-4 times a week. Not every day. Lately I have had a lot of people tell me ( a lot all of a sudden..it's kind of overwhelming) that my bf and I don't really have a fiery relationship. We don't seem to like eachother all that much, we don't seem to call each other all that much...what are we doing really..etc etc.. I don't know...ok I admit that we don't run to one another and hug like there's no tomorrow whenever we see eachother, or once we say bye we're dying to see each other as soon as possible. But yet I feel very comfortable with him. And he lets me breathe and have my own life. I never questioned his "lack" of attention towards me..and when we're together it's just really nice. He's consistent for the most part, and I don't think that just cuz he calls like for example, twice one day he has to do the same the next. I don't think people are robots... And we don't go around saying "honey" and "I love you." etc. Actually we don't really express that stuff much at all. We're both kinda quiet actually. We just..quietly hang out. Without talking much sometimes. But I like being with him like that..but it seems to others we don't click.. But I don't know. I love the guy. But then when we're both alone together and we get physical it's quite passionate...yikes. I know as long as I know I am ok none of that should matter..but am I the weird one? Maybe I'm just boring.. All of a sudden I am thinking all this stuff. argh..
7on Posted January 12, 2005 Posted January 12, 2005 If you're feeling weird about it, talk to him about it. Just bring up, "hey, do you ever think about that we're not fiery enough?" Or something like that.
Nocturnal Posted January 12, 2005 Posted January 12, 2005 People have a pre-set standard of how a 'good' relationship should look like, for a lot of people it's openly being mushy and being with each other 24/7. That doesn't mean it HAVE to be so for everyone. If you're both ok the way you are than that's how your relationship is like. And even if it's how you and your boyfriend likes it, have you ever brought that up to discussion? I talk about a lot of aspects of my relationship to my girlfriend, even those we're comfortable with being what they are just to know that we're both on the same page so I don't assume we are when we're not. From a personal point of view, I can see why people would say what they say, but like previously mentioned, it doesn't matter what they think as long as it works for you.
simplybrill Posted February 10, 2005 Posted February 10, 2005 I came out of a relationship 6 months ago, where I was the "sticky" one and the guy wasn't at all. I was lucky if I we went out on a date once a month, and I hardly ever saw the guy and it just about killed me because I loved him so much, and I couldnt figure out for the life of me, why he didnt want to spend time with me. So finally I called it off. So 6 months go by, I do my own thing, live a little, and boom...now Im in this relationship with a super sweet guy, and Im not a "sticky" person anymore. Scarred from the old relationship? Maybe, but honestly, I started a new job and I dont have a lot of free time anymore. We see each other like 2 sometimes 3 times a week. He texts me more than once a day. We're really quiet when we're together. And we're both fine with being quiet, I think. But he's not okay with not seeing me a lot, he really misses me and its really hard for him to be apart. For me, its not so bad for some reason. I really really like him, and we've done the "I love you" thing, hell we do it every time we get to see each other. He spent a lot of time with his ex gf and her family...and that's different with me, I dont have a lot of free time, and we sure as heck dont spend a lot of time with my family. Sometimes its just 2 hours at a time. And he jokes about it like "so do I get to see ya for a whole 15 mins next time??" and I know he's kidding...but it hurts me, because he thinks I dont care, or miss him, but I can't control how much free time I have and that makes me mad-because I wish I had more time! I dont mind seeing him twice a week and its taking a lot of convincing...but there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. I think a lot of people have the idea that, if you're with someone you have to spend tons of time with them...when in reality...most people who have jobs and are going to school and have lives...dont have great big gobs of free time nowadays. Im all for getting rid of the notion that being with someone 24/7 makes a healthy relationship. Its all about the quality of time spent, not quality.
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