ex asked go gef back after a 7 day split

[single-boy-2k14]

Right its me again. Sorry to be a pain..

 

previous post - https://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/455280-8-year-relationship-ended-feel-sad-suicidle-2.html

 

Right

well a few days have gone by. I done no contact an trying to get my head sorted.

 

But yesterday. My ex called my business phone and wants to sort things out. She said she should of never broke up with me.

What shall i do. Yeah i love to be back together but scared incase she dumps me again :-(

do u think i could try? Or do i run

 

reason we broke up was money stress. Leading to a big row and then threw out....

if i do get back we got issues. Should we try fixing them? Heads buzzin with stress

[ithappenedagain]

Have you guys had any previous ''splits'' during you 8 year relationship? I am just scared that if you take her back, it might become a pattern. And there is nothing worse than continuously having your heart broken by the same person... trust me.. i know this! Did you move all of your stuff out of your place? Where have you been staying?

 

You also said that you know that you guys have issues. Have you thought about a plan to resolve those issues? You need to really figure out the ''cause'' of your issues, and once you figure that out - you might be able to fix them - as a couple.

[Kevin_D]

It sounds more like she had a nervous breakdown. I don't think this was planned. You've been together for a long time. If she says that it was a mistake after only one week, I really think you should give this one a chance.

 

Good luck!

[Mariposa10]

We need more details about the relationship...

[single-boy-2k14]

Morning all.

 

A little bit more information..

 

we been together 8 years this march. We was engaged and living together. No children

.

so its 10 days (not 7) ago me and my partner had this big row over money it started. Got to the point of me being thrown out. Yeah i have taken all my stuff from there and living with my mother for now..

 

Over the last 8 years yeah we have had rows and break up but i think it was mainly down to our age at that time. We both was 18-21 and first long term relationship for both of us.

 

Withing the last couple of years (about 2 years) yeah we still had rows and a few split ups but it was said in anger. Few hours later we was always both sorry and just sorted it out rather drag it on.

We been living together now for about 2 years and we have had good times and bad..

 

i would say why we row..

about 2 years ago she kissed another boy..

about 6 years ago i asked a girl out (i didnt tho)...

money problems with a rented property

 

So we have forgiven our past but not forgoten it.. as the boy she kissed (probs more) was her work college i dont trust her 100% in her job...

but again she dont trust me as i work on the taxis at night in town and she thinks all taxi drivers perv on girls & get of with them.. its not liike tha

 

i know & she knows whats causing the problem. Its trust issues. Can we fix these issues?

Also money is a problem as she got big personal bills so her pay is tight and my pay is just terrible & barley covers the bills. So makes a row when we got no spare cash or a unexpected bill pops up..

 

any sugestions

[single-boy-2k14]

Any one got any thoughts on this

[single-boy-2k14]

No1 with any suggestions :-(

[Tayla]

Well step two seems easy- you recognize that from your persepctive trust is an issue, How have you both worked to rebuild it? Is it solid enough to move back in? Sometimes its best to build in other ways by being apart yet still dating....rekindle and rebuild if you can.

[thedmc]

I think you guys would be better off staying apart for a while. Get your own issues sorted, and I mean truly sorted, before even thinking about getting back together.

[single-boy-2k14]

Yeah we are solid enough to move back in but right now i feel like i should'nt just yet. We talking but not seeing each other everyday incase its a little to soon and we end up rowing. She have asked to move back but i said not yet we see how it goes and take it slowly..

[lauri]

Whatever you do make sure you do not rush back into anything with her. She has to realize you aren't easy and can't be played around with. The biggest mistake a lot of us make is we jump right back into the relationship and pretend that nothing bad happened and they didn't do anything wrong. Breaking up with someone is not a joke and its not something that any guy should find acceptable.

 

Take things extremely slow - something must have happened that made her dump you then come back after 7 days. I like how you are challenging her and not running back into her arms but with her coming back, it could range from many different things but I am not going to assume or think that it is anything at the moment.

 

I remember my best friends girlfriend left him and came back after 2 weeks. He took her back immediately and she pretended everything was okay / nothing happened. For some reason he gets access to her facebook a few weeks later and "accidentally" saw some messages of her with another guy, with her perusing him during their breakup finding out he is not interested / had a girlfriend. So she panics (because she was scared of losing her ex boyfriend) and went back to him. Stupidly, my friend forgave her and stuck with her for another year until she found a new guy.

 

I'm not saying you are this guy or this will be your situation, I'm just saying think inside of yourself of all the issues and problems and don't ignore them. Face them head on and realize if it is worth continuing or not. In the end only you really know that.

 

BTW - Normally when a girl cheats its because her interest level is low in you... and I notice you mentioned she kissed another guy before. When a girl is really into you (high interest level) she can never cheat, do you think she can go back up to that level where she once was to never leave you or cheat on you again?