cdbdsvj Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 I am trying not to make myself believe it simply because I think he is attractive, so I need a second opinion. By all means we should be friends, he is my boss's (whom I am very close to) son and I see him every day in my classes (freshmen in college). I don't have nerves about having male friends, but somehow we have never spoken even though there have been many opportunities. I don't know why I haven't been more friendly towards him, he always seems so reserved. And now there seems to be a cycle of ignoring each other, and I feel bad, because I do seem to like him, but can't ever think of anything to say. Here are some examples of behavior and if any of you could help me out it'd be appreciated: - some days he will watch me, not full on staring, but quiet close. And other days it will be as if I don't exist, except for an odd corner-of-the-eye look. The days he will look at me he seems to leave class very quickly. - a year ago he told a few friends that he likes me while I was in the room but having a conversation with another person, I pretended I never heard because I didn't know how to react (thought maybe he was just kidding), and he never tried to talk to me at all. - when he and I are both in a conversation with my boss there is an air of extreme awkwardness, and while I look at him while he speaks (as it is polite to do), he acts as if it is just him and his father, and I am not there. - his close friends will watch me - I see him around a lot (almost everywhere), probably purely by coincidence, sometimes looks a annoyed, perhaps even a bit angry. He'll avoid eye contact at all costs, except in passing. - the today my boss told me to help him unload the truck, but he refused to let me, and just stood there for a few seconds smiling at me really hesitantly rocking back and fourth on his feet, when I offered willingly to help he refused again and left. Ignored me when he got back. - he flirts with girls like crazy, it's a little nauseating to be honest, it just makes me not want anything to do with him - twice, almost as if a flip switched in his brain, while I'm minding my own business, I would look up to him staring at me so intensely it's hard to look away. The term "eye f***" comes to mind My gut says he does like me but he could just strongly dislike me, or just be bored. This isn't a guy who is shy, he has a lot of female friends, he's charming, if he was interested he would just talk to me. The idea of talking to him makes me nervous, I was going to several times but then was put off by his reserved nature towards me, it's hard to talk to someone if they refuse to acknowledge you unless from across the room. So I ignore him too, maybe a little too well. I know he is a good person, my boss is a great man and he raised him, and we have similar interests. I just feel immature for thinking about this guy when it's probably nothing, or a game. So, I apologize for the length. It's a little embarrassing to be resorting to the internet but once I got typing it was difficult to stop. What do you think? Any advice?
TaraMaiden Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 Are you serious?? I wouldn't touch this guy with a barge-pole! Ugh!
salparadise Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 (edited) The idea of talking to him makes me nervous, I was going to several times but then was put off by his reserved nature towards me, it's hard to talk to someone if they refuse to acknowledge you unless from across the room. So I ignore him too, maybe a little too well. Sounds like to me that you're both doing the same thing... playing aloof and waiting for the other to break the ice. You already know he likes you, and since you only control your own behavior, make a move. Just walk up to him and say, Hi, I'm Sally. Would you like to go for a cup of coffee? Don't worry about outcomes. You'll feel good about stepping out of your comfort zone regardless. *unless you think he's a creeper, in which case don't Edited January 17, 2014 by salparadise 1
d0nnivain Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 You are young & inexperienced. The fact that you have a relationship with his father / your boss probably makes him feel weird. I would try to smile & say hi when you see him at work. But don't start anything there. When you see him anywhere else, make a point to be friendly & talk to him. If nothing else ask about school. Once you make it plain to him that you may be receptive to him he may develop the confidence to ask you out.
EmilyJane Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 (edited) Sounds like to me that you're both doing the same thing... playing aloof and waiting for the other to break the ice. You already know he likes you, and since you only control your own behavior, make a move. Just walk up to him and say, Hi, I'm Sally. Would you like to go for a cup of coffee? Don't worry about outcomes. You'll feel good about stepping out of your comfort zone regardless. *unless you think he's a creeper, in which case don't Yep^^^ good advice, you've potentially got yourself trapped in a stalemate. You want it to change you'll have to do something about it because you're the one that's shown the least interest, after all he actually said it out loud, openly, in front of friends. Shove down the awkwardness and get your flirt on, test the waters a little. Smile, ask how he's going, posture your body so it's open and faced towards him. But also question if its worth screwing up your job if it all goes to hell? And this sounds pretty typical behavior of people in their late teens early twenties...but if he's older he might be one of those hot and cold game players...or just bad at women he is interested in. Either way you've got nada to lose by taking a ill flirty risk. Edited January 17, 2014 by EmilyJane
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