Shawn_S Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 I was seeing this girl for 5-6 weeks. Things seemed to be going really well. I get a text Wednesday saying she likes that I kinda take care of her and she can be less independent. And she appreciates all I do. Thursday she texts she likes me, our kiss, and I give her butterflies. Saturday we get into our first fight. Sunday she says Saturday caused her to lose romantic feelings. They're all gone. She says I'm the only guy she ever dated where the door isn't fully closed because I was great to her... Lots of similar things. Ended well. I told her I was hurt and that I didn't know about being friends after her asking. We said goodbye for now. She texted it last. I never responded. Been NC since Sunday. Not sure what to do. It's strange to me. I don't get it.
Barbarossa Posted January 18, 2014 Posted January 18, 2014 What was the fight about? I would maintain no contact and move on.
Author Shawn_S Posted January 19, 2014 Author Posted January 19, 2014 It was over communication. She asked to hang out, we already had plans. I was teasing mostly when I asked if she forgot that she was going to get me from the car dealership. It went from there. I told her not to feel bad about it... She said "I'm not going to feel bad that I forgot about your car, what time can I get you? If you still want me to." That upset me, then we went back and forth. It sucked. It's been a week today. I really liked her. I'd like her to miss me and want to try again. I thought she would have texted by now. There aren't a ton of quality guys out there on Match.com. I guess we will see. I'm not looking for anyone to tell me how I should feel or be. I want a second chance with her to be possible now or down the road. That's my end goal right now... Whether it happens or not, that isn't important right now.
MidwestUSA Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 It was over communication. She asked to hang out, we already had plans. I was teasing mostly when I asked if she forgot that she was going to get me from the car dealership. It went from there. I told her not to feel bad about it... She said "I'm not going to feel bad that I forgot about your car, what time can I get you? If you still want me to." That upset me, then we went back and forth. It sucked. What upset you? The fact that she forgot or that she admitted it? It seems like she wanted to just drop it and move on. You shouldn't have let it get to you. There are much bigger things that will try your patience down the road. Suck it up, text or call her, and apologize for the misunderstanding. However, if one little blip can cause her to "lose" feelings, she's going to have a hell of a time in relationships. There's a chance she was using your tiff as an excuse to break up. Better to find out one way or another, so you can move on.
Author Shawn_S Posted January 19, 2014 Author Posted January 19, 2014 Thanks! I was upset at how she handled it. I would have dropped it with a simple, sorry I forgot. It just made me feel not important. In retrospect, she wanted to hang out... So it's not like she didn't want to see me. But when she said, "I'm not going to feel bad." After I told her she didn't have to.. It came off cold. She didn't need to say that she wasn't going to feel bad. I would have just said sorry and thanked the person for being kind and understanding. She's 27. She's never had a real long term relationship. I'm a great communicator... My major flaws are being insecure during the first couple months of relationships due to past experience... And I'm a very sensitive guy, which is a flaw and strength depending. Overall though, I'm a guy that people generally want to set people up with and introduce to parents etc. I hope she finds a good guy if she moves on... But not many good and patient/understanding ones I don't think. Who knows. I'm just hurting right now and conflicted. I want to be missed.
MidwestUSA Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 As the better communicator, you could take this opportunity to teach. If you manage to get together, sit her down and explain your second paragraph to her. Not specifics, but general insecurity and sensitivity, and what triggers those feelings. Too many men think they aren't supposed to have feeeeewings, or be vulnerable. Too many women don't have a clue how to handle a guy that opens up. My husband probably cries more than me; THAT was something to get used to. It scared me at first. It's a good sign that she stated the door wasn't closed. Try to get thru it. Good luck! 1
TheBathWater Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 Whether she was turned off or not by the way the two of you argued that day, you just don't give up on someone unless there was something else already bothering you. Maybe the two of you ignored whatever differences you had early on in favor of the excitement of a new relationship, and that was what did you in. Just my guess.
sagetalk Posted January 20, 2014 Posted January 20, 2014 Sounds like you have a drama queen on your hands. Not my cup of tea. I prefer women with a more stable mind.
kaylan Posted January 20, 2014 Posted January 20, 2014 27 yr old female whos never had a real relationship? OP, your princess is in another castle. Move on, I guarantee shes weighing her options elsewhere.
ffw Posted January 20, 2014 Posted January 20, 2014 Lost feelings over a small disagreement. Sounds like you dodge a bullet.
Author Shawn_S Posted January 20, 2014 Author Posted January 20, 2014 Thanks to all that posted. Still no communication. I have a big thing this Saturday and will contact her after the upcoming weekend if I have not heard from her. I do hope to hear from her. And thanks to the person that posted about their husband crying more than you... That's how I am... Nice to know there are others. I like it about me... But it definitely is something people aren't used to in general. Sometimes it can make me look like a wuss to girls because there aren't many as open as me... But I was also in the war 10 years ago as an infantry soldier. One can be sensitive and tough... I'm proof. Just need to be understood, which seems difficult for people to "get me". Very few do or have.
ExpatInItaly Posted January 20, 2014 Posted January 20, 2014 In my experience, if a seemingly small or silly argument is enough to for one person to call it off it generally isn't the only reason they're not interested any more. Even if all appeared well to you, there could've been some other incompatibilities or doubts in her mind and this simply brought them to the forefront.
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