Murtz Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 So my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me. She did not feel like i was putting enough into the relationship. The next month after we broke up, I spent the entire time showing her how much I cared for her and how much I wanted to put into the relationship. She was taken to heart by it all and did not realize she meant so much to me. She still said that she needed time to figure herself out and what she wanted. However after the month I told her that I wanted to start no contact because it was not fair for me to wait for her if she was going to eventually not get back together with me. She was really upset that I did no want to keep in contact and was wondering why we couldn't just hang out as friends and just see where things go from there. After a week of NC I am starting to have these second thoughts. So I thought I might send her this email. Should I? (her name), Something has been on my mind the last few days and I am really not sure what to do right now. I might have jumped to conclusion too much by starting no contact on Saturday and you said that you still wanted to keep somewhat in touch. I do not know what to do right now and I am honestly debating whether or not I should send this email. However I figured it would be best to let you decide. Your the one that needs time and space to figure things out. So you are the one that should decide how much we stay in contact. If it was my choice we would be talking every second of the day of course, but I know that would not be fair as what you are going through requires time to yourself. I don't think I should have initiated no contact on my part, as part of the reason we broke up was because I never initiated anything. Starting no contact sort of goes along with that, so I want to apologize for it. I guess I am asking, do you want to continue no contact. Will this help you figure more out of yourself? I support your decision in breaking up to figure out what you want in life and what you might want in us. If you want to continue no contact, if it will help your self discovery, I would understand and support it. However if you still want to keep in touch I would like that too. I just do not want to push you away if you want to still keep in touch. Do not be worried about what I want with this (her name). I am asking what you are wanting to do about us right now. Your the one going through the "quarter-life crisis" so your the one that should decide what you want in us. (my name)
TylerDurdenn Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 It's done, you ain't getting her back. She was just being nice.
Author Murtz Posted January 17, 2014 Author Posted January 17, 2014 (edited) It's done, you ain't getting her back. She was just being nice. Trust me, she wasn't just being nice. She asked to go on dates near the end of that month. We went on dates and she really said later that she cried at the end of the date because she has some regrets on what she has done. She just wants time for us to sort our feelings out. She was in tears whenever we talked about doing no contact because she did not want that absolutely. I just think I jumped to conclusions on the no contact because I was mad that she didn't want to get back together at that moment. This thing she is going through I think is a maturity issue that she will need to get out of if she wants any relationship to work. I just want to be there to help get through this and show her I care. Edited January 17, 2014 by Murtz
saltyfishhead666 Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 So my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me. She did not feel like i was putting enough into the relationship. The next month after we broke up, I spent the entire time showing her how much I cared for her and how much I wanted to put into the relationship. She was taken to heart by it all and did not realize she meant so much to me. She still said that she needed time to figure herself out and what she wanted. However after the month I told her that I wanted to start no contact because it was not fair for me to wait for her if she was going to eventually not get back together with me. She was really upset that I did no want to keep in contact and was wondering why we couldn't just hang out as friends and just see where things go from there. After a week of NC I am starting to have these second thoughts. So I thought I might send her this email. Should I? (her name), Something has been on my mind the last few days and I am really not sure what to do right now. I might have jumped to conclusion too much by starting no contact on Saturday and you said that you still wanted to keep somewhat in touch. I do not know what to do right now and I am honestly debating whether or not I should send this email. However I figured it would be best to let you decide. Your the one that needs time and space to figure things out. So you are the one that should decide how much we stay in contact. If it was my choice we would be talking every second of the day of course, but I know that would not be fair as what you are going through requires time to yourself. I don't think I should have initiated no contact on my part, as part of the reason we broke up was because I never initiated anything. Starting no contact sort of goes along with that, so I want to apologize for it. I guess I am asking, do you want to continue no contact. Will this help you figure more out of yourself? I support your decision in breaking up to figure out what you want in life and what you might want in us. If you want to continue no contact, if it will help your self discovery, I would understand and support it. However if you still want to keep in touch I would like that too. I just do not want to push you away if you want to still keep in touch. Do not be worried about what I want with this (her name). I am asking what you are wanting to do about us right now. Your the one going through the "quarter-life crisis" so your the one that should decide what you want in us. (my name) DO NOT I REPEAT DO NOT BREAK NO CONTACT You are bound to wonder how she is, and want to talk about it however she's done, finished, ended, gone. As someone told me about 5 months ago after a break up the worst thing you can do is break no contact. If she wanted you she would make the effort to talk too you. She hasn't!!! It's finished. I broke no contact and to this day I regret that decision. Go out for a run, pick your nose, buy some new clothes do anything other than message her!! Eventually you'll get to the stage where you won't care what shes doing or her opinion of you or what happened. I promise you you will! xx
CaliBabe Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 Stick to your guns. You decided on NC don't be indecisive. Do not contact her with what you wrote. You sound like you are not in control of your feelings and feeling regret now that you don't have contact. Be strong, let her come to you. She was the one not sure, you made the right choice in not waiting around for her. Life does not stop. If she truly wanted you back, she knows how to get a hold of you. 1
deathandtaxes Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 Go ahead and send it if you want to cede all your power to this person. This e-mail is so weak sauce.
TaraMaiden Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 Murtz, please read the no Contact Guide in my signature. There's a very good reason we implement NC. And that Guide will give it to you. Please, before you do anything foolish (and sending that would tip that over the edge!) read the guide - then, come back and ask questions, if you need to.
d0nnivain Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 Presumably after a month of begging & pleading you told her that you were going NC for your own sanity. If that is the case, breaking NC won't change anything. She knows how to get in touch with you. If you put it in writing she could share it to humiliate you. It could also go viral. If you must reach out, which I do not recommend, do it in a non permanent way like voice.
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