He doesn't want a relationship with anyone, but he gave me a different impression!

[Peacekeeper]

Me and this guy have been friends for 8 months. We'll call him Paul. Paul has always showed that he liked me, he stares at me intensely all the time and says I love you to me frequently and he called me Beautiful etc etc. We went out a couple of times, but I didn't like him on a intimate level until recently. So we just remained good friends. He gets really mad and jealous about other guys. He most of the time wants to know where i'm going. Well my friend Jerry told me to stay away from Paul cause he is on and off dating this girl Julie, whom I know, and he said that Julie and Samantha get mad when I talk to him. I am really close with Samantha, but not Julie, so I was confused and like wtf? Cause I don't flirt with him, and my one girlfriend Jessica saw that I was distraught and confused. I try to avoid confrontation so I just stopped texting Paul cause I didn't want anymore drama. So Jessica, meesages Paul on Facebook, and says

 

 

"Hey Paul, Heather is confused and upset about the situation with Julie and Samantha, are they mad at her? Jerry told her you are on and off dating Julie and that she shouldn't talk to you cause Julie and Sam are mad. Heather is upset and she doesn't want to upset anyone or ruin any relationship."

 

 

He replies with "I am not dating Julie!!! I never have! That's crazy why would Jerry say something like that? That is crazy lies he's making up. I barely talk to Julie!"

 

 

and then my friend started small talk with him, but then he says "But yeah I am not dating anyone, I am going to **** any girl I see though lmfao! No relationships. I don't need another Victoria (his ex)"

 

 

So...ok if he doesn't want a relationship then why would he get jealous about other guys I see and talk to? Like my one friend said I liked this guy and Paul said "She is way too good for him! She shouldn't go out with him!" and he is always saying I am a good girl. And he always dissing guys I talk to and they are decent guys, they are not douchebags. He even said one time that we are "soulmates" and he even lied to our friends and said we were dating and getting married, to the point I said "Quit it!!! This has to stop you are getting too extreme" I also told him about this one guy and I said I am very discouraged about guys and that I can't find the right one to date etc. and he replied "Go out with me!"

 

 

I wanted to go out with him, and clearly I am not a hit and quit it type, cause I didn't sleep with him, and I am not clearly a FWB type either, but yet that upset me he said that cause it's like I don't matter that he is always trying to have sex with me just to get his "dick wet" When this whole time I was under the impression he wanted to actually go out with me and date me. I just don't understand cause if you just want to get your "dick wet" basically then why does it matter who I date and why does it matter to know where I am at most of the time? It gave me the impression that he is interested, but I am confused? Cause I thought we were really good friends, I helped him through his struggles and helped him through his breakup and everything! And he even says stuff like "You're beautiful" "We're soulmates" "I love you" is that all bull****? I am so disappointed about this, but maybe some of you can give me so insight on this situation? Thanks!

[todreaminblue]

if a guy truly liked you wanted to date you and go further ...there are no mixed messages...they go for it...they make it clear......no doubt ...they have to really like you though.....unless of course they are shy may take them longer but even shy guys have guts...sometimes more courageous.....without fear there is no courage....he doesnt sound shy ...he sounds like he isnt ready to settle down and likes to be a player ...some girl is upset ....because she has probably been played.......theres land mines all over this guy...let it be let him be...wait for a guy who is willign to be up front with you because eh likes you that much...dotn be confused and uncertain holding rainbow strings ....wait for the sun rays of certainty...the guy who says i think your cool lets go out....or my personal fave...will you kiss me please....now.i want you to kiss me..smilin....no error there

[nescafe1982]

Sounds like her didn't want a relationship with you, but he also didn't want some other guy potentially having sex with you.

 

Not someone I'd spend any more time on.

 

The only party foul? Asking your friend to talk to Paul for you. That kind of triangulation and he-said, she-said is troublesome and immature.