ConfusedHumanBeing Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 Hello again LS. Hope everyone's start to the new year is going well. Just a quick question...so its been almost a year and a half since my breakup with the ex. After full no contact (slipups with social media at times) I feel over it. It was easily one of the worst times of my life and I never want to feel so helpless again. Im with someone now who understands me and is there for me way more than my ex ever was. Its a great feeling....but, as sometimes happens, a relapse has occured with my past breakup. Okay well get this. So, I'm a member of another fourm online which is pretty much open to any topic. Its a very big website, but I wont promote it here. Anyways, so I'm browsing different forums and I'm reading one that's pretty interesting. I see this convoluted and there is a comment that is rated pretty high. The username sounds familar from the past...but I can't put my finger on it. Alas, I click on the profile and its my ex! 7 billion people in the world and that still happens. For those wondering, I did not know she used the site as she signed up about 5 months ago. Conventional wisdom would tell you to stop there. Curiosity again kills the cat. I start looking at previous post. Most all comments are in the sex part of the forum talking about her favorite positions, what her and her new fling do, how to do several acts. ..pretty much anything you can thing of. I was even mentioned in one about how it was a mistake to move in with me and how she "left my ass" as she so eloquently put it. Now, if I read these graphic details a year ago, I'd gone full on hypertension. I'd be losing my mind. Now, I just kinda chuckle....but at the same time, it bothers me. I'm not sure why. I was her first and we shared a lot, but these whole taxi cab confessions that I read were bothersome. Maybe because its offputting to see her be so open about her sexual conquest. She lied a bunch in there from her past, so that was fun. Anyways, I blocked her off there so she never shows up again. Wasn't my intention to find it out. I don't know....its just bothering me right now and I can't really wrap my head around as to why. Any suggestions?
Haydn Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 Friend you had the terrible misfortune to stumble upon this. i WOULD FEEL THE SAME. Not sure what to suggest but just keep heading in the same direction you are with your latest flame. I know you will probably have your mind full now of this. But at least you know. No idea if thats a comfort or not. Keep going and keep helping us here. I always take note of what you say even if its not related to me.
Philosoraptor Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 Curiosity killed the cat. You should have taken some advice from your avatar and not pressed on.
btfly803 Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 Ouch. At least you found it now and not a year ago. Sorry that you found it at all though.
mtnbiker3000 Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 That's rough!!! Next time, just keep on walkin'...
LostConfused123 Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 Wow!!! That sounds like the ultimate test from the Universe. . . . or the Universe playing a sick joke at your expense! I'm so sorry that happened to you. . .. like you said. . of ALL the people in the world and you just happened to stumble on it. I don't even know what to say except, I feel for you but I'm so glad it didn't happen before your healing. I'm also happy for you that you found a great person that is there for you!!! Take care!
radiodarcy Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 Yikes! I don't blame you for having that get under your skin. It's never pleasant to hear anyone you know talking about you when they don't think you're there - - but especially if that someone is an ex! When my ex contacted me after nearly a year - - aside from one slip up on my end - - of NC to tell me he had a new gf and that she was pregnant with his kid- - I was slightly more than taken aback myself. And he was my first to boot. But like you - - I had done enough NC so even though it needled me - - it was more like a dull jab instead of the sharp searing pain it could have been...
Author ConfusedHumanBeing Posted January 17, 2014 Author Posted January 17, 2014 Hey guys thanks for the replies! Yeah, it did defiantly suck. I knew it was obviously an awful idea to begin with, especially when I found out who it actually was. The odds of that are SO small. I should probably buy a lotto card. I guess, in essence, it hasn't hurt me too much today. In fact, I havent thought a GREAT deal about it. A year ago me would have taken numerous amounts of sleeping pills and slept until 7pm lol. Now, I read those (VERY graphic in nature. Just straight up and down like she was giving the readers notes on her sexual conquest), and I guess I just thought "Why would this even be considered attractive?" I know she was a virgin and having sex unlocked her inner nympho and thats whatever, it's just something I woudnt announce to the public....even anonymously. I dont know....with all of that said, it still bothers me. Why am I thinking it about it so much today? My new GF was curious to my behavior as I am pretty distant. I obviously do NOT want my ex back. Even if she begged for me back, but its still bothersome. Maybe I feel replaced to a new degree so its hurting my confidence? I'm not sure.
hopti Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 maybe it's just because it's her and you've been NC for a long time. Don't overthink what you're feeling. Of course something like that is really weird to stumble up on, but handle with care and continue your new great relationship:)
Raena Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 Oh my goodness, please don't let this affect your new relationship! It's actually awesome that your gf picked up on your feelings so quickly. That means she's really in tune with you Keep that going, scrub your eyes, your mind, whatever. Get it out of your head and push forward with your mate!
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