akira001 Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 (edited) I have been dating this girl for a couple weeks now. (tues) - first date: walked around, talked and eventually ate some dinner and drinks, ending the night with a hug (fri) - we met for lunch. nothing to special (it was a bad idea, wrong setting for a second date). either way though it was only an hour and we just ate and talked, not bad (sat) - we had a movie night at her place, cuddled on the couch and ended the night with a kiss on the cheek (errrrrr) (sun) - had an awesome time. she had a rough day and didnt even want to come out but i convinced her to. We had a few drinks at a bar. I had told her i was going to bring champagne to celebrate (it wasnt a bad day persay, but she had made a big decision which caused her stress). so after the bar we drove around, find a nice place to park and popped open the champagne. We cruised around drinking a little and making out! (wed) - she made me dinner and after we went to the movies together. of course more kissing and cuddling (thur) - she was dealing with some stuff. and so some of my earlier text (and one phone call) went ignored. so i gave up. but then she called me. she wasnt sure what she wanted. so i told her "ill just come get you and we will figure it out". it worked out well we went out for drinks and cruised around town together. After dropping her off at home we started texting a little and eventually I talked my way back in, and so we chilled in her room watching a movie. I gave her a back massage and we did more cuddling/kissing To be honest a lot of things have gone well. but im new at this and i know Ive made mistakes. I think Ive been to available, probably to "Sweet" sometimes and maybe not pushing sex enough. I know a relationship has to be consummated, and it seems to be a hurdle at the moment. And she doesn't exactly make it easy on me. Every time we will be in a situation were it could happen she always pretenses the date with a text like "don't try or expect anything" (sat [3rd date], movie night) "Nothing's going to happened tho" (thur, last night) Ive asked her about us, and she says "im scared because i think ill like you to much". idk what to believe about this statement. i think i want to believe it to much and so that probably makes it bull**** also she does initiate texting and kissing. even this morning i held off on my normal good morning and she texted me. Heres what i see my options to be 1) keep trying, keep texting, when we cuddle i put my hands all over her. sometimes i think its just a matter of putting them in the right place. but what about the pretenses then, is that all bull****? 2) back off and see if she comes back (what does this mean exactly? do i tell her first that im going to back off? and totally put the ball in her court or just give her a few days then pursue again? FYI she is going away for the weekend with friends. so it will be a good 3 days. my plan wasn't to text her much while she is gone Considering last night i think things arent ruined yet, but i fear they will be quickly if i dont figure out what i need to do. Edited January 17, 2014 by akira001
Author akira001 Posted January 17, 2014 Author Posted January 17, 2014 I'm sorry, what's the question? what i should do basically back off or keep going at a similar pace and if back off is the answer what does that mean exactly
mammasita Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 Its only been a couple weeks.......caaaaaalllllm down and stop overthinking. 1
Shosh Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 what i should do basically back off or keep going at a similar pace Why would you want to back off? She obviously likes you and enjoys spending time with you. Are you upset because you have not had sex yet? Newsflash, most women don't like to rush into a sexual relationship. If you really like this girl, keep dating her and prove to her that you are boyfriend material. If you are mostly looking for sex, do her a favor and look for a new victim. If you are looking for advice on how to seduce the girl and get her to have sex with you before she is ready, you are not going to find it here. 2
Author akira001 Posted January 17, 2014 Author Posted January 17, 2014 Why would you want to back off? She obviously likes you and enjoys spending time with you. Are you upset because you have not had sex yet? Newsflash, most women don't like to rush into a sexual relationship. If you really like this girl, keep dating her and prove to her that you are boyfriend material. If you are mostly looking for sex, do her a favor and look for a new victim. If you are looking for advice on how to seduce the girl and get her to have sex with you before she is ready, you are not going to find it here. like i said im more then happy with the way things are, and have absolutely no problem waiting (though yes it is something i desire). i just read alot of crap and talk to friends which make it seem like a requirement to consummate a relationship within a certain period of time.
Eau Claire Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 Are you over the age of 18? Hopefully she will dump you. You are not the least concerned about her feelings or her sense of integrity. Are you this insensitive to all women? Ask yourself...would you let her read your opening post? If not, why? If you don't for the reason she will not have sex with you and call it 'bullsh*t, then what do you think the reason is? I think the reason is she is seeing you for the shallow a$$ you are.
Shosh Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 i just read alot of crap and talk to friends which make it seem like a requirement to consummate a relationship within a certain period of time. Don't listen to those friends! Why would it be a requirement? Because otherwise you are a loser? Or because she will think you are a loser? Or that you are not interested? I don't get the issue. I know some guys are just interested in sleeping with as many women as possible and therefore they stop seeing her if she does not put out within a few weeks or dates. But if you like a girl and want to date her, there is no time-limit on sex. Or even other physical intimacy. Just continue dating her and don't pressure her for sex if you like her. I can't count the times when I have stopped seeing a guy because he was pressing for sex too early. If he had waited until I was more comfortable with him and knew him better, we might have worked out, but if I worry on the 3rd date that you are going to try to get me into bed I will probably not see you again. And if I am young and stupid and like you so much that I go along with it because I fear to lose you otherwise, then I am probably going to regret it afterwards. Phew. End of sermon.
ExpatInItaly Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 like i said im more then happy with the way things are, and have absolutely no problem waiting (though yes it is something i desire). i just read alot of crap and talk to friends which make it seem like a requirement to consummate a relationship within a certain period of time. Read your words again - you read crap. That couldn't be more true. And your friends don't know what they're talking about if they're giving you the impression you need to consummate this...you've only been dating a couple weeks! How old are your friends? You need to relax. Let things develop naturally. If she likes you, this will go further. On the other hand, if you start trying to consummate this, it could very well backfire.
Author akira001 Posted January 17, 2014 Author Posted January 17, 2014 (edited) all i meant to do in my post was to explain my worries (not about sex but about the relationship falling off because of the lack of it so far) like many have said Im just over thinking things and to the person who asked about age, no we are both adults say 25-30yrs old Im am extremely considerate and for those who questioned that fact really didnt understand the original post as i said i havnt pushed for it and respected her decision every time I guess maybe what it comes down to is the fact that sometimes idk what a women's words mean. if she is saying those things expecting me to take the lead? to test my confidence. FYI TOO GUYS THE TITLE WAS SUPPOSE TO BE: What do i do it was in no way a reference on how to get sex from her nor was my other questions Edited January 17, 2014 by akira001
angel.eyes Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 (edited) Are you new to dating then? Anyway, if she's telling you she doesn't want to move faster physically, then respect that. If it's unacceptable to you that she won't have sex with you after two weeks of dating, find someone else. If you keep pushing when she's told you it's not happening just yet several times, you'll probably get dumped...or she'll pull a disappearing act on you because you're creating a very uncomfortable situation for her. Why don't you focus on getting to know her, instead of just focusing on getting in her pants? ...assuming of course you're looking to date and have a relationship, not just have sex. Edited January 17, 2014 by angel.eyes
Thegreatestthing Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 (edited) I believe her when she says she's scared she will like you to much,because I have the same problem,it's a big deal to invest yourself in somebody who could one day tear you down. you have to not be to full on because it will scare her off but still show some interest so she feels safe continuing the relationship. I don't know about the sex part,I like a lot of passion early in the relationship,feels more exciting. Edited January 17, 2014 by Thegreatestthing 1
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