diggsboi Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 hi everyone, im new here and really hoping someone can offer me some solid advice long story long... i was dating a girl about 4 years ago. we dated for two years. i had known her form many years and was always fond of her. we had a very close bond. i never loved another like i loved her. i was divorced and she was in the process. we each had two children. they got along great... it really was a wonderful feeling for me however, i felt she was struggling to extricate herself from her ex husband (they had been together since childhood about 20 years and he was abusive) i felt i owed it to her to let her go to give her time and space to learn to stand on her own. she was beat down and i wanted her to know she didnt NEED me or any man but that she was free to choose. i loved her greatly and leaving her hurt tremendously. i quickly got with another woman thinking it would help me to move on. this new woman is wonderful. thoughtful, kind, caring... all the things you would ask for. however, i have struggled from day one missing and caring for my ex. it has been over a year now and my ex has contacted me several time and made it clear she misses me as well. i cut all contact with her a couple of months ago because i didnt want to be disloyal to my current gf and i was unsure how to proceed. i have no clue what my ex is doing or how she currently feels yet i still miss her. truly i dont know if i simply need to learn to let go or if i am causing myself to suffer needlessly. seriously any advice is appreciated.
Philosoraptor Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 You're rebounding. You should speak to your current partner about this and let her make a fair decision on whether or not she will see you through this or if she wants to end the relationship. After that, you need to commit to finding peace and enjoyment in what currently is going on in your life and take your focus off the past.
Author diggsboi Posted January 17, 2014 Author Posted January 17, 2014 You're rebounding. You should speak to your current partner about this and let her make a fair decision on whether or not she will see you through this or if she wants to end the relationship. After that, you need to commit to finding peace and enjoyment in what currently is going on in your life and take your focus off the past. thank you for that. i have expressed it to my current gf and she has been very understanding. she says she wants to stand by me and give me time to resolve my feelings. i feel that is a very selfless thing for her to do. i also feel i am being unfair to her since i have so many mixed emotions. the thing that gets me is that i have missed her (1.5 years) for nearly as long as we were together (2 years)...
Philosoraptor Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 Sadly I've found that people often are unable to let go of the past while they are attached. Being attached or on the prowl allows them to shift the pain and loss of the past relationship. Many people need to face the hard reality of singledom in order to become a fully whole individual again. 2
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