GirlDown Posted January 11, 2005 Posted January 11, 2005 i am asking this question (without judgment) to the OW's...(i am not a wife of a cheating man or an OW) would you date a man who had a serious relationship with a live-in girlfriend? or one who was engaged? what about a just a plain old girlfriend? the reason i ask is because you rarely see posts that say "i'm jealous of my boyfriend's girlfriend" or "i get mad when i know my boyfriend is spending time with his fiancee" or "is he lying to me when he says he doesn't have sex with his live-in girlfriend even though he goes home to her every night, because he says he's unhappy and that they don't even talk to each other when they're together" is there a reason it always seems to be a married man? this really is just out of curiosity
Mr Spock Posted January 11, 2005 Posted January 11, 2005 There are quite a few stories in this forum where there is no legal marriage certificate.
ww Posted January 11, 2005 Posted January 11, 2005 right now I WOULD DATE ANYTHING ...just to keep not thinking about one in particular
Author GirlDown Posted January 11, 2005 Author Posted January 11, 2005 deleted post...my words wouldn't come out the way i wanted to...
LittleMiss Posted January 11, 2005 Posted January 11, 2005 Most of these women don't go out and seek married men. I know in my own situation I never would have pictured myself involved with a married man. It sort of just happened. Anyways, I don't think theres a difference. If a man is involved with someone else you are going to be the OW regardless of his martial status. This question doesn't have a yes or no answer because most women would say no that they would never get involved with a man even if he just had a girlfriend, but then again there are times when things don't turn out like you thought they would and you find yourself caught up in an affair.
Author GirlDown Posted January 11, 2005 Author Posted January 11, 2005 Originally posted by g_tabatha Anyways, I don't think theres a difference. If a man is involved with someone else you are going to be the OW regardless of his martial status. oh i know, it just seems there was more marriage involved than any other kind of relationship. just wondering.
Zoot Posted January 11, 2005 Posted January 11, 2005 Originally posted by g_tabatha Most of these women don't go out and seek married men. I know in my own situation I never would have pictured myself involved with a married man. It sort of just happened. Anyways, I don't think theres a difference. If a man is involved with someone else you are going to be the OW regardless of his martial status. This question doesn't have a yes or no answer because most women would say no that they would never get involved with a man even if he just had a girlfriend, but then again there are times when things don't turn out like you thought they would and you find yourself caught up in an affair. Excellent explanation!
Leaf Posted January 12, 2005 Posted January 12, 2005 Mine was engaged when it started. When we first met, I didnt even know he had a GF, he and I were just casual friends. When he told me he was engaged my heart sank. I told him at the time that I had a crush on him but I didnt want to get involved because he was engaged. We decided to just let nature take its course, not worry about becoming more than friends. ...well... the more time we spent together the more we realized that WOW there is something here... something unexpected. It just kept going... we fell in love... for the first 10 months we were together 24/7, he rarely saw her, never slept with her, he would go out with her Sat night for a few hours then come home to me. I NEVER thought he would get married. NEVER. What I didnt realize were the immense pressures that he dealt with. I firmly believe that he would have had the strength to cancel his wedding had the pressures not been there. To sort of address your questions.. Ya, every saturday night I hated that my BF was out with his OGF.
StillHurtin Posted January 12, 2005 Posted January 12, 2005 I am not currently the OW, but the W. However, I was the OW years b4 I met my H. I was in a relationship w/ a man who was in a serious relationship w/ someone. I wasn't the only one he was sleeping w/, I know this for a fact, from him. He didn't care he had a serious GF, if he wanted to bang some gal he was going to do it. I honestly can say I think he is, or was a sexual addict. And why did I continue a relationship w/ this kind of guy? B/c I loved him. I cared what he did outside of our relationship but at some point I didn't b/c as long as I got my time w/ him I didn't care. I was young, and stupid. Didn't think about him just using me. We were friends b4 the sexual A started. I was just a piece of a$$ to him and I know that now. Yes, I was very jealous of his GF. Jealous that she had him and I didn't. But yet, I felt bad for her b/c he was out banging so many OW. In away I thought she was stupid for not seeing that he was whoring around on her. I met her once when she lived in a town. She worked at my favorite clothing store. She was very pretty and I couldn't understand how he could treat her that way. I kind of felt badly for her but yet I continued my A w/ him, b/c I was selfish and didn't care. I just figured he was sleeping w/ so many OW and she would never find out about me anyhow. He did however, tell me that she knew about me. I don't know if he was serious, but why would he tell her? What did he hope to accomplish by telling her? He sounded serious. And if he wasn't, why would he lie about that? Anyhow, I am getting into my past about him and I don't like it so I am going to stop. I am sure there are a lot of threads about BF/GF's ect. Maybe you can do a search on them. Even though a person isn't married doesn't mean your not the OW. As long as they are in a relationship w/ someone else (and both have agreed not to see others) then you are the OW.
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