singme2sleep Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 Okay I'm sure I will get a lot of mixed opinions on this. We women have been none to say things like "all guys are jerks" or "there's no good men left" etc. Usually we make such declarations because we've been hurt in a relationship or even just gone on too many bad dates with the wrong men. But I'm noticing more and more that both sexes are getting this way. There is more and more males lately saying that "all women are they same" and other BS because they've had their hearts broken. This is something that is increasingly upsetting me because girls like me who are sweet, loyal and honest don't stand a chance of finding a good relationship since so many men are growing cynical. Girls that cheat, use and lie end up turning men into callous playboys who only want to hook up. If you've ever seen the movie called 'The Ugly Truth' recall the scene where Gerard Butler is on late night tv being interviewed. He goes on about basically sleeping around and going from woman to woman when Craig Fergusen says "What was her name?" and Butler's character replies "Who?" So he tells him "The woman who hurt you and made you this way..." I rest my case! So what hope do the genuine people have of a solid/happy relationship if both sexes are giving up? Are we not ruining it for each other? 2
Eau Claire Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 Not really. Tens of millions of couples have wonderful relationships. I do and many friends and family members do. If one was to visit the waiting room at the dentist, easy to forget most people are living that day not even thinking of their teeth.
OpheliaSong Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 My hearts been broken and I don't feel bitter. It isn't anyone else's responsibility but my own to make me happy. Plus, bitterness is about the least attractive quality a person can have. I know there are guys out there who aren't bitter and are actually going to contribute a lot to a relationship. 1
JDPT Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 I don't personally view it as an epidemic but rather a never ending cycle. Yes some people after a break up may become jaded, bitter or perhaps incredulous and believe that the world is out to make them suffer. I personally have become a bit more reluctant with how much I open up to women. But I highly doubt I've ever heard myself say "oh fawk it what's the point all women are the same!" Hence why I'm amazed at women and their view of men as to how all men are the "same". I don't do well at gravitating towards those. In conclusion, I believe being jaded is an option that one can proactively grow out of and experience life again. 4
todreaminblue Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 the only real person who gives bitterness to your thoughts for another or others is you...only you can carry it......so you either put it down as dead weight or you hold onto it and let it sour your perception of something or someone that could be beautiful...if people want to be bitter because they get hurt........they will.....until they find it too burdensome to hold onto.......you cant change someones heart ...they have to do it...you can soften hearts but bitterness is your own cross to bear and to discard...it is not a societal problem....its truly personal and its a personal illness not an epidemic.....that spreads like a contagion 1
RDawg Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 My ex was so pleased to meet me, she had a bad experience in her prior relationship with a guy who stalked her after she broke up with him. She was convinced I was a 'good guy'. Fast forward 3 years and I end up getting drunk and punching her in the face.. Sorry guys, I really let the team down on this one. But she's not bitter.. just dissappointed. Am I bitter? No, just sad and angry at myself and her. I guess it all depends on the experiences we accumulate over the years. Cheating would make me very, very bitter. Like JDPT I think this will make me more cautious in my next relationship. Having said that, once the sex starts all rational thought goes out the window..! 1
ponchsox Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 Women and men are going through partners and relationships like they're a new fashion or fad. When they get bored, they throw that person away for someone new and shiny. I'm not so much bitter and jaded but rather unsure if I will ever find what I'm looking for. 2
Woggle Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 It's making everybody bitter but I know men who seriously do believe women aren't even capable of truly loving a man. I will be the first to admit I have had trust issues I am still overcoming but I am not that cynical anymore. It really is a sad state of affairs these days. There is so much mistrust and animosity. 2
MoooOinkBaaa Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 Yep I'm done with women after the way my ex turned out. I won't act like a whore like her though, I don't want another relationship for at least 10 years. It's the society we live in now, look at the media and the social networks. Look at the way kids are growing up. Everyone and everything is a bad influence on people. Only the strong willed survive. 2
Revolver Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 It's more so never actually being in the game. A lot of men can't even get into "bad" relationships
Author singme2sleep Posted January 17, 2014 Author Posted January 17, 2014 I think it's becoming more common, unfortunately. My ex for instance, was somewhat jaded when we met because of his previous ex who hurt him badly. I'm not trying to point fingers at other women but it seems that if you meet a guy who is a cynical jerk, there's a woman in his past who screwed him up. They aren't born that way... Though I haven't really dated since my breakup I have talked to guys where it's like I must convince them that I'm "different". Ain't that a shame?! 2
Hoosfoos Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 All women are the same...controlling, critical, demanding, expecting perfection in their partners, and impossible to please no matter how well they are treated.
BlametheIrish Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 "Heartbreak isn't just making women bitter anymore...men too!" This is not news nor is it new. Some people get bitter afyer heartbreak, some don't. Not a gender issue, it's a person issue. 3
Woggle Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 I think it's becoming more common, unfortunately. My ex for instance, was somewhat jaded when we met because of his previous ex who hurt him badly. I'm not trying to point fingers at other women but it seems that if you meet a guy who is a cynical jerk, there's a woman in his past who screwed him up. They aren't born that way... Though I haven't really dated since my breakup I have talked to guys where it's like I must convince them that I'm "different". Ain't that a shame?! Yup. I can't speak for all cold hearted players but nearly every one I know was hurt by a woman they loved.
Nikki Sahagin Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 As another poster said, bitterness is a choice. It is very easy to become bitter when hurt. It's also something you have to work on releasing because it will poison any future connection. I think when one is bitter, one should take time aside from relationships, romance and sex and recover. The problem is that people often jump back in the saddle before they feel healed. People often use other relationships or sex as a recovery tool, when it rarely (if ever) works that way. To feel bitter is natural but to remain so is a CHOICE that stems from fear and anxiety about being hurt again.
mutualove2 Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 When you give all you have and so blindly in love and all of a sudden they pull the cord for no good reason you just become bitter it's as simple as that. It applies to both men and women.The question is how long is the bitterness going to last?For some it passes sooner or later,and for some it becomes a part of their personality when it comes to the opposite sex. 1
pickflicker Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 I'm not bitter and I have no time for bitter. Bitter people get short shrift with me, I don't waste my time with them. Also, "The Ugly Truth" is just a movie. I wouldn't put much stock in it as a mirror for real life.
somedude81 Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 (edited) Ah bitterness. Constant failure with girls from elementary till very recently has made me very bitter. For a while my bitterness was taking a break, but now it's back with a vengeance. The bitterness comes from a deep seated belief that girls don't like me and want to hurt me. I know that, that belief isn't logical but it's still the conclusion that I've come to from my life experiences. Honestly, I'm pretty scared that the next girl I get close to and develop strong feelings for, will end up hurting me as well. I also feel that any girl, no matter how sweet and caring she seems to be, can instantly turn cold and mean. Edited January 19, 2014 by somedude81 3
Author singme2sleep Posted January 20, 2014 Author Posted January 20, 2014 Ah bitterness. Constant failure with girls from elementary till very recently has made me very bitter. For a while my bitterness was taking a break, but now it's back with a vengeance. The bitterness comes from a deep seated belief that girls don't like me and want to hurt me. I know that, that belief isn't logical but it's still the conclusion that I've come to from my life experiences. Honestly, I'm pretty scared that the next girl I get close to and develop strong feelings for, will end up hurting me as well. I also feel that any girl, no matter how sweet and caring she seems to be, can instantly turn cold and mean. Obviously I'm not lucky in love, or I wouldn't be on here. But I still believe I will find somebody better eventually, I don't deserve to be alone forever. I just hate meeting a person who is good and genuine who claims they are done because their ex broke their heart. I have never cheated or would never and all I ask for is a guy who will give me back the love I give. Too many are giving up and it's sad.
somedude81 Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 Obviously I'm not lucky in love, or I wouldn't be on here. But I still believe I will find somebody better eventually, I don't deserve to be alone forever. I just hate meeting a person who is good and genuine who claims they are done because their ex broke their heart. I have never cheated or would never and all I ask for is a guy who will give me back the love I give. Too many are giving up and it's sad. I won't give up either, but there is always that part of me that worries about the future. People can be cruel, and it hurts even more if you completely open yourself up to somebody.
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