BC1980 Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 Social media has made breaking up so much harder than it needs to be. All this about twitter, facebook, and stuff I've never even heard of. Texting enables breadcrumbs because it's so easy to just send a text without much thought. I bet 99 percent of breadcrumbs on this board are texts. I would block the ex, and I sure don't care what they think about it. 1
Sugarkane Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 I mean we all know break up is hard but isn't it removing them just shows that you are more hurt about the situation? Dumpers usually don't care at all.
Sugarkane Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 What's with all the threats about worrying about offending the dumper? I could care less what dumpers think?. It was their choice. 1
BC1980 Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 What's with all the threats about worrying about offending the dumper? I could care less what dumpers think?. It was their choice. Exactly. Who even cares? I'm sure the dumper could care less.
Juha Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 Dumpers usually don't care at all. I was good, did not look at her page ever. I did not post on fb a lot but with my anxiety adn such my therapist + friends suggested I use it more to connect me better with friends and people in general. So I did. My dumper cared obviously. I was posting pics of me and my family and doing things with friends. One friend she must of thought was my gf or something. She sent me a text telling me how angry she was at me, never gave me a reason why. Did not want to delete me but she said she was getting more mad at me and did not want to. She unfriended me lol Explain that on.
FortunateSon Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 (edited) After my break up my ex blocked me on FB but at least once a month she would unblock me, probably to check up? I never tried checking her FB, the only reason I know she would unblock me was that old pics/posts would reappear. The last time I saw she did this, I had enough and blocked her immediately. Blocking her is of the best things I have done post-BU, I definitely recommend doing it, it has help me heal faster. Edited January 17, 2014 by FortunateSon
Chi townD Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 I mean we all know break up is hard but isn't it removing them just shows that you are more hurt about the situation? Whether it was a good break up or bad, you are allowed to feel hurt! You're allowed to feel pain. If you still have her on your facebook and she posts a pic of her sitting in some dudes lap with her arms wrapped around his neck. That's gonna hurt. Or if she posts, "I just got a promotion!!!" And some dude writes "THAT'S MY GIRL! Congrats! Looks like we'll be celebrating tonight!" and she response, "Mmmmm....Looking forward to it! *wink* wink*" That's gonna hurt. Or she posts that her and her new boyfriend had a romantic getaway weekend at a Bed & Breakfast. That's gonna hurt. You starting to see a pattern here? Are you starting to understand why blocking our Ex's is important? 2
Emilia Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 Explain that on. Can't. People can't explain emotions. This is why it's best to cut things off early and start moving on. You can't make sense of it and there is no point. 1
JonathanAnder Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 What if you have the wheel power to just block her feeds and don't check her profile until you moved on completely?? Whether it was a good break up or bad, you are allowed to feel hurt! You're allowed to feel pain. If you still have her on your facebook and she posts a pic of her sitting in some dudes lap with her arms wrapped around his neck. That's gonna hurt. Or if she posts, "I just got a promotion!!!" And some dude writes "THAT'S MY GIRL! Congrats! Looks like we'll be celebrating tonight!" and she response, "Mmmmm....Looking forward to it! *wink* wink*" That's gonna hurt. Or she posts that her and her new boyfriend had a romantic getaway weekend at a Bed & Breakfast. That's gonna hurt. You starting to see a pattern here? Are you starting to understand why blocking our Ex's is important?
mantlefan Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 I blocked my ex. I don't want to see when she changes her pic to be one of her and the guy she dumped me for. It will only set me back. Maybe I am being pessimistic, but no matter how over her I get, I feel it would still hurt to see that for the first time.
jphcbpa Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 my ex was off fb a couple of months prior to the BU. She was still on my friends list and I removed her. Also I removed any friends I made from her. Also her family. Removed them on Instagram and from my phone. My serenity is # 1 and I need to garden and protect that.
Chi townD Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 What if you have the wheel power to just block her feeds and don't check her profile until you moved on completely?? I've talked to people on here that had made leaps and bounds in their individual healing. They have made positive changes in their lives. Gotten in shape, changed their outfits and were traveling and really got their live back on track. Then, they got curious and unblocked their Ex's thinking that they were strong enough to handle seeing what was there. Some handled it okay, while other got knocked back in their healing and started to revert back to self loathing and questioning themselves and just basically, being hurt. It's just better not to check. 3
Wings Of Love Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 I for one couldn't care less if my ex knows I'm hurt. I am, and I'm not going to lie about it. Deleting him from Facebook was about saving my own feelings, so I wouldn't stumble across something that would cause more unnecessary pain. Good thing I did too, he was all over some other girl not long after I removed him. It's not necessary, not by any means, but it certainly helps. 1
Hoosfoos Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 I'm torn on this one too. It's been 2 months, and I have not checked her FB profile once...I have a lot of self control. I don't want to make any kind of statement by deleting her...yes I know it's not healthy...perhaps I will delete her sooner or later, but I'm not sure. Facebook truly is the devil.
Chi townD Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 And do you know what? It doesn't even need to be that our Ex's are with someone else. They look and see pics of our Ex's at parties, with friends, smiling and laughing. Having a good ol time! Then, we get those folks that tell us about it and asking questions like, "How can she/he be so happy while my life is falling apart? How can he/she move on so quickly and I always feel like I'm on the edge of a knife? Did I mean anything to them at all? Were they sad that our relationship ended? Sure doesn't look that way! What's wrong with me? Why wasn't I good enough?!?!?" We've had those on here as well... 2
Sugarkane Posted January 18, 2014 Posted January 18, 2014 (edited) You're both broken up. You can be friends/ date anyone you like. Your ex doesnt own you! If your ex didn't like it, why did she breakup with you? What did the dumper expect?It was rude of your ex to do that. It makes me laugh when dumpers do this. I was good, did not look at her page ever. I did not post on fb a lot but with my anxiety adn such my therapist + friends suggested I use it more to connect me better with friends and people in general. So I did. My dumper cared obviously. I was posting pics of me and my family and doing things with friends. One friend she must of thought was my gf or something. She sent me a text telling me how angry she was at me, never gave me a reason why. Did not want to delete me but she said she was getting more mad at me and did not want to. She unfriended me lol Explain that on. Edited January 18, 2014 by Sugarkane
Ordinaryday Posted January 18, 2014 Posted January 18, 2014 And do you know what? It doesn't even need to be that our Ex's are with someone else. They look and see pics of our Ex's at parties, with friends, smiling and laughing. Having a good ol time! Then, we get those folks that tell us about it and asking questions like, "How can she/he be so happy while my life is falling apart? How can he/she move on so quickly and I always feel like I'm on the edge of a knife? Did I mean anything to them at all? Were they sad that our relationship ended? Sure doesn't look that way! What's wrong with me? Why wasn't I good enough?!?!?" We've had those on here as well... Absolutely right... and what is more people are very choosy and careful about what they post on social media. they want to make it look like they are having an amazing life (even if they arent) so they will only post great witty things and photos of the good times they have, obviously omitting mentions of all the times they sat at home doing nothing. we all do it, I know I do. so you might see photos of your ex at a party, looking happy, and have those thoughts "how can she be SO HAPPY without me? did I mean NOTHING to her?" when in truth she might be depressed and her friends absolutely had to DRAG HER to the party to try and cheer her up. u never know. but you will ALWAYS assume the worst. just block. 3
SJChris Posted January 18, 2014 Posted January 18, 2014 (edited) Unfriend, unfriend, unfriend!!! You do NOT want to cause yourself future pain by allowing yourself to see them all over another person, it'll reset the healing process. They'll be all fine and dandy with the new beau while you're stuck in gloom land, forced to watch them be happy with someone else. I know it seems okay to show how good you are without them, but they gave you a cold shoulder by breaking up, so you give it back and unfriend them. If they want to know how you are, they'll contact you. If not, they weren't worth your time and you can try to find someone that appreciates you. So don't cause yourself any more pain. You've dealt with enough pain already during the BU. Edited January 18, 2014 by SJChris
h0000 Posted January 18, 2014 Posted January 18, 2014 it all depends on how you feel. delete or not they both have pros and cons. you just have to weight them and decide which is worth. I didn't delete my ex at the beginning.I was hurt but I wanted to pretend I didnt care by leaving him on my Facebook. but then every time I saw his news my heart stopped beating. then I realised I cant take it and its not worth it so I deleted him. I told myself I don't care if he thinks im mature or not. I don't care if he thinks im hurt or not .I do whatever makes me happy. 1
Ordinaryday Posted January 18, 2014 Posted January 18, 2014 it all depends on how you feel. delete or not they both have pros and cons. you just have to weight them and decide which is worth. I didn't delete my ex at the beginning.I was hurt but I wanted to pretend I didnt care by leaving him on my Facebook. but then every time I saw his news my heart stopped beating. then I realised I cant take it and its not worth it so I deleted him. I told myself I don't care if he thinks im mature or not. I don't care if he thinks im hurt or not .I do whatever makes me happy. as other people ALWAYS say on this board "it DOESN'T MATTER how you deleting them makes them feel or whether or not it makes you look immature. it is about doing what is best for your healing". and they dumped you, so their opinion of you is now irrelevant. 1
Recommended Posts