CharlieHarper91 Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 Good break up or Bad break up. Is it really necessary to remove them in all social networks?? Isn't it better if you are showing that you are not butt hurt and that you are mature to not delete them when relationship ends especially when it's a good break up? Or is it better to just don't give them the privileged to see what your up to and see yourself as butt hurt that you can't even take to be friends with her in social media that's why you need to remove them?
JDPT Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 Do you want to save yourself future grief? Then I can only suggest that you delete at once. 4
wordisbond Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 my break up has been "good" in a way i guess it's been civil with no fighting and low contact... it bugged me always seeing what she was upto... for the 1st 2 weeks i couldn't stop checking up on what she was upto on facebook. i didn't think i'd ever remove her. maybe it's a bit personal to remove that one person... if you're gonna do it deactivate your whole account like i did... it feels good to be different and not have facebook sometimes lol 1
Author CharlieHarper91 Posted January 17, 2014 Author Posted January 17, 2014 I mean we all know break up is hard but isn't it removing them just shows that you are more hurt about the situation?
Simon Phoenix Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 It's not necessary, but it certainly is advised. At the very least you need to block her news feed.
wordisbond Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 as i said if you delete the one person it's not really being mature about the situation if it's a "good" break up... if you're going to do it delete all of facebook so your not just singling her out she'll take offence... just my view on it
d0nnivain Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 Here's the deal: in a time before face book -- yeah I know the stone age -- anyway . . . When you broke up with somebody you cut all contact. You had to make an effort & go through a huge amount of trouble to reconnect with the person. You went on about your separate lives. Breaking up means you split apart. Apart means not together/ Yes, you should take them off all social media. 2
Simon Phoenix Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 as i said if you delete the one person it's not really being mature about the situation if it's a "good" break up... if you're going to do it delete all of facebook so your not just singling her out she'll take offence... just my view on it Who cares if she takes offense? SHE'S YOUR EX! She gave up the right to have an opinion on what you do as soon as you break up. This logic makes very little sense to me. 7
pickflicker Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 It does not matter what the other person thinks. It does not matter if they think you're immature, or butt-hurt. You should not be giving a flying f*ck what they think. Do what works for you. Is it really necessary to keep them on Facebook, is the question I would be asking... 1
futureswimmer Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 What favor are you doing by keeping your ex, especially if it was a bad break up? I think the only option is to delete them. I use to deactivate my page. just so I wouldn't have to block him. But then I thought, why am I selling myself short from conversing with family and friends. And here he is going about his life, laughing and interacting with his friends. Now I just delete . delete. delete. And if I have to delete friends I knew through him, I delete them too. My sanity is more important , than worrying about if they are offended that I deleted them. Im sure if I ran into them in the streets , they would understand
organizedchaos Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 as i said if you delete the one person it's not really being mature about the situation if it's a "good" break up... if you're going to do it delete all of facebook so your not just singling her out she'll take offence... just my view on it If she dumps you, Why the hell should you be concerned about offending her??? I mean, was she worried about offending your feelings by dumping you? 6
Winter blue Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 (edited) Good break up or Bad break up. Is it really necessary to remove them in all social networks?? Isn't it better if you are showing that you are not butt hurt and that you are mature to not delete them when relationship ends especially when it's a good break up? Or is it better to just don't give them the privileged to see what your up to and see yourself as butt hurt that you can't even take to be friends with her in social media that's why you need to remove them? Yes absolutely. I thought my recent breakup was considered a 'good' one, we even hugged to say goodbye. She emailed me after to say call her anytime if I need to talk, and she mentioned in particular let's not unfriend each other on fb becasue it hurts. And guess what, she blocked me 5 months after the BU. At this point I couldn't care less and I knew it's for the best, but I do regret I didn't block her earlier that, is pretty much the only feeling I had out of this whole blocking/deleting situation on fb. So what basically happened is I let her to hurt me one more time after 5 months passed because of my hestation on deleting her. I hope this helps Edited January 17, 2014 by Winter blue
cavalier99 Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 Yes always block. Immediatly without a second thought! Cav 4
Anela Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 No contact is a good thing. I learned the hard way, by continuing to talk to someone. 1
CelticGibson Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 Friends on social media? To show you are mature? Forget that. You don't want to be her friend, you didn't want her to end it did you? Yet she did and when she did it, she didn't take your feelings into account because that decision to end it is a selfish one so stop taking hers into your decision process. Break ups are inherently selfish because it intentionally hurts the partner while it gives the dumper a way out. Remember that she ended it. It doesn't matter if it's a good or bad break up, it's a break up and with it comes cutting all ties, especially for the dumpee so they may regroup and get used to the idea that they are now single again and not by choice. This is where No Contact comes in. It gives you space to sort through the emotions, without being involved in any fashion with the dumper, while allowing you to ween off and eventually move on. Remember: Once she ended it, she forfeited any and all consideration for her feelings from you.... Delete delete delete... 2
wwwwww Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 I deleted my ex about three weeks after our breakup. It wasn't good, but it wasn't bad either. She changed her profile picture immediately and started adding random dudes every single day up until I deleted her. I don't know if she was just trying to get under my skin. I do feel like I am taking a further step by moving on, but looking back it felt like it was cutting the final tie. To be honest I felt pretty sad about it after I did so.
organizedchaos Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 I deleted my ex about three weeks after our breakup. It wasn't good, but it wasn't bad either. She changed her profile picture immediately and started adding random dudes every single day up until I deleted her. I don't know if she was just trying to get under my skin. I do feel like I am taking a further step by moving on, but looking back it felt like it was cutting the final tie. To be honest I felt pretty sad about it after I did so. Of course it's sad. But you were put in this position. 1
JohnnyLoverBoy Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 I don't know, but for me after 4 months of break up. I should have not removed my ex. I think my ego got affected as she thinks I'm hurting with the break up.
David87 Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 my break up has been "good" in a way i guess it's been civil with no fighting and low contact... it bugged me always seeing what she was upto... for the 1st 2 weeks i couldn't stop checking up on what she was upto on facebook. i didn't think i'd ever remove her. maybe it's a bit personal to remove that one person... if you're gonna do it deactivate your whole account like i did... it feels good to be different and not have facebook sometimes lol No brake up is good in my point of view. What do you say to each other?" I don't like you anymore lets split... common there is no such thing. And if you still love your ex it's a must to delete them and even block them because they will start to date, then what? Do yourself a favor and delete your ex now.
RDawg Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 Am I the only person on the planet who doesn't have a Facebook profile? All that soial network stuff is a load of pretentious rubbish in my opinion.
David87 Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 Am I the only person on the planet who doesn't have a Facebook profile? All that soial network stuff is a load of pretentious rubbish in my opinion. It's a good place to pick up girls:)
RDawg Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 David. I hear you bro. But I thought we were done with girls?? Look what they have done to us! gghh (soory for the hijack)
Emilia Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 Good break up or Bad break up. Is it really necessary to remove them in all social networks?? Yes. You need to move on. Isn't it better if you are showing that you are not butt hurt and that you are mature to not delete them when relationship ends especially when it's a good break up? Showing them? Why? Are you trying to impress them? Is this about you or them? You are not a kid anymore. Or is it better to just don't give them the privileged to see what your up to and see yourself as butt hurt that you can't even take to be friends with her in social media that's why you need to remove them? Who cares. Do what's good for you.
John83 Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 I dont have a facebook and never will but if i did i couldnt imagine having to look at exes facebook page and have a constant reminder of what she is up to. You are just prolonging your agony by not blocking her mate.
Ordinaryday Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 it is necessary. for numerous reasons. even if both parties * claim * they are okay with the breakup, remaining in even indirect contact can lead to all sorts of problems, such as: 1) you might THINK (or be in denial) that you are over them but when/if they get a new partner and start posting photos of them together on her facebook page, and she makes status updates like "is in love with the BESTEST BF EVER XXX" it WILL OPEN UP ALL KINDS OF WOUNDS and set you back to day one. I SPEAK FROM EXPERIENCE. 2) It can lead to passive-aqgressive bout matches in which you both try to one up each other by demonstrating how great your life is without them. the result is that you just see how (apparently) fantastic they are doing without you and it makes you feel lousy, as if you meant nothing to them and you ask how they got over you so easily. 3) any however minor contact from them will bring back memories and be interpreted in the wrong ways. she might 'like' your facebook photo. here you will be thinking "OMG, she LIKED my fb photo! does this mean she wants to get back together?"... no... it means she pressed the like button and nothing more. and when you realise this you will feel rejected ALL OVER AGAIN. In short, keeping them on your fb will just delay your healing. it may also end up making you look bad because if you get hurt from something she does and you snap at her she will hate you. remove them from your fb. I speak from experience. if YOU HAVE to leave on 'good terms' then simply send her a message saying something like "hey dont take this personally but I am going to have to remove you from fb. I dont hate you orr anything, but keeping in contact with you will just delay my healing and bring back old memories. I hope you understand". if she cares about you at all (even in a non romantic way) she will understand. 1
Recommended Posts