True Gent Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 My ex left me around a month and a half ago. I got a text from her yesterday, she was upset and told me she was in tears after a crappy day. She implied she didn't expect me to care, she also told me exactly where she was. She was only a 5 min drive away. I didn't give in to her, I just don't get it. I am the closest person to her in the world, so she must of felt like she needed me. Why dump me then try pulling my chain for emotional support? I'm feeling confused as it is.
FortunateSon Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 TG, well done on not giving in! In knowing the background of your story, this seems incredibly selfish of her. It sounds as if her new man must not have been available to give her the support she wanted at the moment. There is bound to be a lot of residual attachment left after your time together that is still very familiar and comfortable to her. This seems to be a very self-serving on her part, if she really wanted to be able to share her "crappy" days and count on you for emotional support, she should have considered that before leaving you after 9 years. 3
carl777 Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 My ex used to do all the time after she dumped me for another guy. Being weak and stupid at the time, I was always there for her. It took me 3 years to get my sht together, do the NC and move on.
Author True Gent Posted January 16, 2014 Author Posted January 16, 2014 TG, well done on not giving in! In knowing the background of your story, this seems incredibly selfish of her. It sounds as if her new man must not have been available to give her the support she wanted at the moment. There is bound to be a lot of residual attachment left after your time together that is still very familiar and comfortable to her. This seems to be a very self-serving on her part, if she really wanted to be able to share her "crappy" days and count on you for emotional support, she should have considered that before leaving you after 9 years. Indeed! To be honest I'm not sure how much he seems to be around. Her Mum came over the other day for some of her stuff and she implied she doesn't see a lot of him. Besides during their honeymoon period I doubt she's going to reveal her true depressive self to him just yet. I just wish she hadn't text me that because even after everything that's happened, I still love her. 1
Author True Gent Posted January 16, 2014 Author Posted January 16, 2014 My ex used to do all the time after she dumped me for another guy. Being weak and stupid at the time, I was always there for her. It took me 3 years to get my sht together, do the NC and move on. I've got to admit I almost caved in, but I realised I'm just her security blanket. I think she isn't truly happy in her life and seems to think she can just unload into me. My anger is subsiding at the moment. I just miss her right now.
Fufu Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 I think you did well by not caving in. But I'm kinda not surprise she will do this over again and again. And if that truly happens, you probably have to resort to blocking her phone number. 1
carl777 Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 I've got to admit I almost caved in, but I realised I'm just her security blanket. I think she isn't truly happy in her life and seems to think she can just unload into me. My anger is subsiding at the moment. I just miss her right now. Keep going, dude! I did all the things you shouldn't do in a BU because I "wanted" her back. Eventually, I did get her back but she ended up lying and dumping me again. That was the turning point for me. 1
Author True Gent Posted January 17, 2014 Author Posted January 17, 2014 Keep going, dude! I did all the things you shouldn't do in a BU because I "wanted" her back. Eventually, I did get her back but she ended up lying and dumping me again. That was the turning point for me. I'm doing my best to keep going Bud. It's really hard at this point as I feel like I want her to reach out and say she's made a big mistake. I honestly don't know how I'd react if she did. My anger seems to of taken a back seat and I miss her.
Chi townD Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 I'm doing my best to keep going Bud. It's really hard at this point as I feel like I want her to reach out and say she's made a big mistake. I honestly don't know how I'd react if she did. My anger seems to of taken a back seat and I miss her. If she made a mistake, then that's a mistake that she has to live with because you don't have to. 1
mammasita Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 WHY ISN'T HER NUMBER BLOCKED!?!?!?!? You like torture don't you.
Author True Gent Posted January 17, 2014 Author Posted January 17, 2014 WHY ISN'T HER NUMBER BLOCKED!?!?!?!? You like torture don't you. We share the care of our dogs. I can't go complete NC not unless she drops them too.
mammasita Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 We share the care of our dogs. I can't go complete NC not unless she drops them too. My ex fiance and I got a dog together with the intention of raising him together....etc etc etc. Guess what. He dumped me, he chose to leave me. He doesn't get any part of the dog we chose together. No joint custody, so sharing care. That is the most ridiculous thing you could possibly do right now.
Author True Gent Posted January 17, 2014 Author Posted January 17, 2014 My ex fiance and I got a dog together with the intention of raising him together....etc etc etc. Guess what. He dumped me, he chose to leave me. He doesn't get any part of the dog we chose together. No joint custody, so sharing care. That is the most ridiculous thing you could possibly do right now. She cannot care for them full time. I love my dogs, I'll happily keep them. She will not let go of them. We bought and raised them together. She occasionally takes them for a couple of days. She's leaving the country for 4 months soon. With any luck She'll detach herself from them. I can't make her give up on this, she just won't.
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