Joanie44 Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 I was dumped a couple months by my boyfriend of 3 years for a much wealthier woman. I make very good money but not as much as this woman. She's a surgeon. She has no kids, I have 2 and he has 2 kids. All the kids get along great. His kids text me when she's at his house telling me they miss me and love me and wish things were back to the way they were. I still see his kids once in a while. I see him more often than that. We speak everyday (he always calls me). We've been intimate 3 times in the last two weeks. He said he's struggling with his decision. I love him very much. He's still my best friend. At first he said he still wants to be friends. This morning he said its difficult to be friends because there's so much emotion between us. How much can he like this new woman if he's calling and seeing me often (obviously he likes her more than me since he ditched me for her). Do I go NC? I have tried but he keeps calling. I'm actually doing very well given that he's with another woman. I do to have that constant feeling of anxiety about it anymore. But maybe that's because I don't think it will work out between them. But even if it didn't doesn't mean he's coming back to me and if he did he'd probably end up cheating in me. I kind of think I'm still talking to him out of boredom. If I had something to occupy my time I would be fine.
Chi townD Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 You're being played. Stop it! Sure, she makes more money as a surgeon. But, that has a price. Long hours at the hospital and getting constant phonecalls at random hours and needing to go into the hospital at a moments notice. Very stressful. SO, he's cake eating! He gets the stability, financial and physical support from her and he gets the emotional and more physical needs met by you! I mean, he's cheated on her 3 times with you already! YOU ARE THE OTHER WOMAN!!! Yes, go NC. He made the choice to have you out of his life, not you. Therefore, you give him exactly what he's asking for. You are NOT his friend! I'm sure you didn't get into a loving and caring relationship with him for the ultimate outcome to be that you are nothing more than a really good friend to him. He needs to know that his choice to be a surgeons boy toy was his choice and that's something that he'll have to live with. That he gave up a strong and independent woman that could give him her time, love and affection. So, anytime he texts, ignore it. Emails, ignore it. If he calls let it go to voicemail. DO NOT RESPOND! Post here instead. People will be here to walk you through these hard times. YOU DESERVE BETTER! You are worth so much more than a guy that will cheat and can't make up his own mind. 7
OpheliaSong Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 Block him from calling or contacting you. This is unacceptable behavior. He wants one foot in your doorway in case this woman dumps him. Do not be second choice. Do not be the woman who waits for a man who doesn't understand what he had. If he could do this to you once, he will do it again even if he comes back. Don't let him use you this way. This is not love. 3
pickflicker Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 Oh wow, you need to stop speaking to him and you definitely need to stop sleeping with him. He's not struggling with his decision, he's playing you off against each other. Cut him out of your life, immediately. 1
CaliBabe Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 You look like such a doormat which is why he keeps using you as an emotional tampon and side chick. Value yourself more. Love yourself more. Once you do, the right man will love you too. 3
Fufu Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 I was dumped a couple months by my boyfriend of 3 years for a much wealthier woman. I make very good money but not as much as this woman. She's a surgeon. She has no kids, I have 2 and he has 2 kids. All the kids get along great. His kids text me when she's at his house telling me they miss me and love me and wish things were back to the way they were. I still see his kids once in a while. I see him more often than that. We speak everyday (he always calls me). We've been intimate 3 times in the last two weeks. He said he's struggling with his decision. I love him very much. He's still my best friend. At first he said he still wants to be friends. This morning he said its difficult to be friends because there's so much emotion between us. How much can he like this new woman if he's calling and seeing me often (obviously he likes her more than me since he ditched me for her). Do I go NC? I have tried but he keeps calling. I'm actually doing very well given that he's with another woman. I do to have that constant feeling of anxiety about it anymore. But maybe that's because I don't think it will work out between them. But even if it didn't doesn't mean he's coming back to me and if he did he'd probably end up cheating in me. I kind of think I'm still talking to him out of boredom. If I had something to occupy my time I would be fine. I'm actually doing very well given that he's with another woman. This part really stands out on me. My dear, you are ultimate obviously not doing well at all. If you are thinking right, you will have already seen this guy's character true and clear. He is definitely treating you like a doormat/spare tire anD stringing you along and he is gonna do that for a long-term. Put yourself first, this guy obviously is cheating on you and toying with your feelings. Who cares who earn more, obviously he doesn't value relationships at all. And what I foresee is that when he finds another woman that earns more than this woman (surgeon), most likely he will jump ship again. Do yourself and your kids a BIG BIG FAVOR, by thinking right and making the right decision. CUT HIM LOOSE!
Ruby Slippers Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 Seriously, drop him immediately. If I had something to occupy my time I would be fine. Find a hobby - get in shape, take a class, learn to play an instrument, learn a new language, make some new friends, take a trip, volunteer, get a side job. Anything would be better than engaging with this cheater anymore.
Inviv_girl Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 You're being played. Stop it! Sure, she makes more money as a surgeon. But, that has a price. Long hours at the hospital and getting constant phonecalls at random hours and needing to go into the hospital at a moments notice. Very stressful. SO, he's cake eating! He gets the stability, financial and physical support from her and he gets the emotional and more physical needs met by you! I mean, he's cheated on her 3 times with you already! YOU ARE THE OTHER WOMAN!!! Yes, go NC. He made the choice to have you out of his life, not you. Therefore, you give him exactly what he's asking for. You are NOT his friend! I'm sure you didn't get into a loving and caring relationship with him for the ultimate outcome to be that you are nothing more than a really good friend to him. He needs to know that his choice to be a surgeons boy toy was his choice and that's something that he'll have to live with. That he gave up a strong and independent woman that could give him her time, love and affection. So, anytime he texts, ignore it. Emails, ignore it. If he calls let it go to voicemail. DO NOT RESPOND! Post here instead. People will be here to walk you through these hard times. YOU DESERVE BETTER! You are worth so much more than a guy that will cheat and can't make up his own mind. I second to this! Please respect yourself and cut him loose! you dont deserve to be treated like this and dont treat yourself like this. This guy is a loser, he is using you!
JDPT Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 Sounds like my ex and her journey to finding a millionaire. Endless to say, apply NC vigorously and immediately. I'm sorry to put it in these terms, but don't continue to embarrass yourself. If the sole reason for him dumping you was because he found someone with more money than you than I'm sorry to say that he was need worth it and te inevitable was being prolonged. You will then say well what about the kids? As harsh as this may sound his kids are his and yours are yours and all you need to devote yourself to is your kids. You must start healing, don't allow this to perpetuate.
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