rene.pic Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 Help! Hi guys I've been in an online relationship for over a year now with a girl called (let’s say) 'L'. We video chatted for the first time a couple days ago, but the camera footage was real distorted. I getting worried now that there might being something not quite right... Am I right to have these thoughts after so long of talking to each other? Has anyone else experienced something similar???? Thanks guys x
Zahara Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 You've been in an "online relationship" for a year and only recently have seen her face? Get out more. Go meet people in real life. Involve yourself in activity groups that you enjoy. Go out on dates...do something to meet women that doesn't involve you hiding behind a phone or a computer screen. 3
mammasita Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 Why did it take so long to video chat? Has she asked you for money?
Zeroes Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 (edited) Help! Hi guys I've been in an online relationship for over a year now with a girl called (let’s say) 'L'. We video chatted for the first time a couple days ago, but the camera footage was real distorted. I getting worried now that there might being something not quite right... Am I right to have these thoughts after so long of talking to each other? Has anyone else experienced something similar???? Thanks guys x Wait...... 1. Why has it taken so long to get into a video chat? 2. Why haven't you met up yet? 3. Did you not see photos of her prior to the video chat? Do they match up? 4. Do you have her on Facebook? 5. If you do have her on Facebook - have you looked at her friends list, looked at their profiles, and has she been tagged in any of their photos? I'm all for relationships starting online, BUT there is a high danger of being scammed or falling victim to catfish/fantasists, and for this reason it's important that you verify people online ASAP The best way to do this is ask for a selfie photo with her and a piece of paper with her name and today's date, e.g. "Lyanne Parker, 17th January 2014" or holding a specific object like today's newspaper. Any excuse not to or trying to make you feel guilty for asking for it is a red flag, as someone has nothing to hide would have no problem with a request like that. I experienced something similar with a "friend" in the 00s (when social media was basically MySpace and Instant Messaging services like MSN, rather than more photo and video based services such as Skype, FaceTime, Facebook, etc), long story short, I became close (in the friendship sense) with a "guy" online and abandoned common sense/ignored my instinct, later found out he was in fact a female. To be honest I wasn't shocked, but was pissed off at myself for getting emotionally involved with someone I'd never met, I was still a teenager though, so it's excusable to an extent. Edited January 17, 2014 by Zeroes
Eternal Sunshine Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 Yeah that's weird but it depends on other details. I personally have good intuition and can see being catfished a mile off. Don't be scared to ask her for more info.
ExpatInItaly Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 You're damn right something is off. Why did you only see her face for the first time a few days ago, if you've been in a "relationship" for year? What exactly has your relationship consisted of? I think it's safe to say you're being catfished.
Barbarossa Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 You have caught a catfish, don't feel bad it happens even to people with high socioeconomic value look up Manti Te'o
angel.eyes Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 Sorry, but it's not promising. Next time, try to meet within a couple of weeks of connecting online. When you let things drag out like this, they usually go nowhere and you waste time, energy, and emotion on someone who probably never intended to meet. Also look locally if you can, rather than engaging long distance contacts.
Lisa Herman Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 The last time I had a crush on someone online was before 17 years old. This is definitely an immature event to be hold, so please don't risk too much of your emotions over it. Spend more time with real friends down the town, reduce your time with online chatting. That's my advice!
angel.eyes Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 People of all ages meet online all the time--on dating sites, gaming sites, chat rooms, and shared interest discussion boards such as this one. I know of at least twenty married couples who met on discussion boards. Like any other place, you have people there for different reasons. You just have to make sure the person is who she says she is, and she wants the same things that you do. That's true whether you meet online, in a bar, or on a soccer field. The lesson here is to progress things to an in-person date relatively quickly rather than letting thinks drag on for months or years, often for very flimsy reasons.
saltyfishhead666 Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 Help! Hi guys I've been in an online relationship for over a year now with a girl called (let’s say) 'L'. We video chatted for the first time a couple days ago, but the camera footage was real distorted. I getting worried now that there might being something not quite right... Am I right to have these thoughts after so long of talking to each other? Has anyone else experienced something similar???? Thanks guys x You've been in an "online relationship" for a year and you've only just seen her? She's most likely a catfish!! You can have a long distance relationship - still involves meeting... an online relationship is what? love online. Go find a real girlfriend
melell Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 Yep, I would insist on video interaction really early on. I was talking to someone who wouldn't go on camera, even though I knew they had one, and would send these pictures that were so edited they almost looked like cartoon. They became incredibly defensive when I questioned it. I didn't doubt his authenticity as a person, but physically I think he was lying- my guess was really overweight. Keep in mind though, it is possible that the person is just insecure about how they look- imo that is understandable. I would say that after a year chances are this person is just trying to hide a physical aspects.
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