flightplan Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 she responded saying "i'll keep you updated on everything..." so looks like that never happened. ... and it's not going to happen. Like others have said, you're a stranger now. I was BEST friends with my ex for almost 15 years but there is no way I'm reaching out to her after the s***-storm she put me through. I don't care if she has health issues or not, they made a decision and I'm going to enforce it. Your opening yourself to a self inflicted ass-whooping if you do contact her. 1
pickflicker Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 well i was friends with my ex before we got together, and we knew each other for years. you know when we broke up i told her "who's going to care for you? i know you were depressed before we got together because you didn't have a partner who was by your side during the hard times..." she responded saying "i'll keep you updated on everything..." so looks like that never happened. She's capable of looking after herself and appears to have made it perfectly clear through her actions, rather than her words, that she doesn't want to speak to you. 1
Fufu Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 Stay calm, don't contact. If you do contact, you have to go through all the negative emotions all over again.
RDawg Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 Jiminy - you think you are over her but you still miss her and care about her health.. hmm sounds like a bit of a contradiction. I think the real question when trying to evaluate your degree of indifference is: would you still like her back? Be honest. Would it hurt if you receive no response? Would it hurt if she responded in a cold manner? Judging by the other opinions you've received on this thread the consensus seems to be that it will be a set back for you if you receive no response or a negative response. The irony of reaching out is that you can't do it unless you're indifferent, but if you're indifferent why would you bother?? I don't know the details of your break up but I think the view that 'if someone dumps you then it means that they want you out of their life forever' might be a bit extreme. It all depends on the nature of the relationship and how it ended.
Author Jiminy Cricket Posted January 17, 2014 Author Posted January 17, 2014 Jiminy - you think you are over her but you still miss her and care about her health.. hmm sounds like a bit of a contradiction. I think the real question when trying to evaluate your degree of indifference is: would you still like her back? Be honest. Would it hurt if you receive no response? Would it hurt if she responded in a cold manner? Judging by the other opinions you've received on this thread the consensus seems to be that it will be a set back for you if you receive no response or a negative response. The irony of reaching out is that you can't do it unless you're indifferent, but if you're indifferent why would you bother?? I don't know the details of your break up but I think the view that 'if someone dumps you then it means that they want you out of their life forever' might be a bit extreme. It all depends on the nature of the relationship and how it ended. -take her back? i would, if she has changed and wasn't so demanding and over dominate. -it would hurt, but not as much as before, because time has passed. it wouldn't hurt if she responded in a cold manner. -when we broke up i told her i was going to be gone for good, just disappeared from each others lives. she didn't like that. she wanted us to still be in each others lives as friends. she told me one day we could give our partnership another go, but after we both healed.
Simon Phoenix Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 -take her back? i would, if she has changed and wasn't so demanding and over dominate. -it would hurt, but not as much as before, because time has passed. it wouldn't hurt if she responded in a cold manner. -when we broke up i told her i was going to be gone for good, just disappeared from each others lives. she didn't like that. she wanted us to still be in each others lives as friends. she told me one day we could give our partnership another go, but after we both healed. Well, you are gone for good and she's not exactly chasing you back is she? Dude, just keep moving forward. 1
Author Jiminy Cricket Posted January 18, 2014 Author Posted January 18, 2014 Well, you are gone for good and she's not exactly chasing you back is she? Dude, just keep moving forward. she was chasing initially, like a couple of months after the BU. but i gave in and gave her all the power. pretty much destroyed my chances of reconciliation. i'm trying to keep moving, but something keeps pulling me back to her.
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted January 18, 2014 Posted January 18, 2014 she was chasing initially, like a couple of months after the BU. but i gave in and gave her all the power. pretty much destroyed my chances of reconciliation. i'm trying to keep moving, but something keeps pulling me back to her. Because you haven't found something to replace her. You will, you just have to find it.
Simon Phoenix Posted January 18, 2014 Posted January 18, 2014 she was chasing initially, like a couple of months after the BU. but i gave in and gave her all the power. pretty much destroyed my chances of reconciliation. i'm trying to keep moving, but something keeps pulling me back to her. No she wasn't, she was giving you breadcrumbs. Her demanding you return a gift is not her chasing you. C'mon dude, we've been over this. 2
Zahara Posted January 18, 2014 Posted January 18, 2014 Oh the jacket. That wasn't chasing. That was just her need to gain control of her puppet. You really need to step out of your denial and delusion.
Itspointless Posted January 18, 2014 Posted January 18, 2014 ... to tell the truth, i'm concerned. she was in the hospital for something serious ... I know what you mean man. My girl broke up after we were not that long together because her medical issues became acute again. On top of that her family suddenly had some problems. I learned she is avoidant, she does not want me around now or even talk about the things she is going through. I find it really hard to move on as I often think about her and her medical situation. Although I got a polite message with my birthday, she never mentions anything about her situation. When I ask, she does not answer. Well anyway, it is hard to know that someone you care about suffers and you do not know how they are.
Recommended Posts