Jilly10340 Posted January 11, 2005 Posted January 11, 2005 As many of you know me and my boyfriend (the virgin) broke up on New Years day. Well actually, I broke up with him and then asked him back out when I realized how much I really did like him. He had to think about it and it's been 10 days and he's still thinking about it. During this time he's constantly emailed me and im'd me telling me how much he misses me and how he wishes that he could see me. If that's how he feels then why can't he make the decision to come back to me. I know that I broke up with him but I made a mistake and basically begged him to come back. I told him last night that I wasn't going to wait for him anymore and that I was moving on with my life. I don't think that it's fair to put my whole life on hold and wait for him to make a decision that shouldn't really be that hard in the first place. Also, I would like to think I have a little more respect for myself then that. I told him that if he ever decided that he cared about me enough to give me another chance then he could get ahold of me. I said that if I wasn't over him by then or if I didn't have something else going on, I would love to try again. But if I had moved on by then, then it was just too late I guess. I've bent over backward to try to convince him to go out with me and I'm exhausted. I'm done. I told him I didn't want to talk to him or hear from him again unless he's made a decision. So that concludes the end of another relationship. I admit, I'm very sad. I really like this guy a lot, and it's been very hard trying to forget about him. I don't know how I'm going to stop myself from talking to him and emailing and im'ing him. Even after I told him all of this last night I about went crazy trying to stop myself from emailing him and begging him to come back once again. I didn't do it though, I know I've done all that I can. If he really wants a relationship with me and if he's worth it, he'll come back eventually right?
crisp Posted January 11, 2005 Posted January 11, 2005 Gawd, who knows what he'll do? You did the right thing, Jilly. Now try sticking to your own rule. I honestely think that he won't came back. IT's his ego, his own insecurities... That's how I feel it. Try to get used to this idea. If ever he calls, you'll just be really surprized. So call your girl friends, go out or start getting more involved in your work to keep him off your mind. How you've been these past few months?
iceisles Posted January 11, 2005 Posted January 11, 2005 Originally posted by Jilly10340 If he really wants a relationship with me and if he's worth it, he'll come back eventually right? I'm sorry to hear about this. The answer to the above question is "yes". But don't sit around waiting/hoping for that to happen. Begin to practice immediate no contact to help yourself heal.
Author Jilly10340 Posted January 11, 2005 Author Posted January 11, 2005 Crisp - Sometimes I think that he'll come back and sometimes I don't. How could he tell me that he misses me, that he wishes he could see me, that it was really good to see me last Thursday, etc. if he didn't still care about me? It shouldn't take this long to decide if you want to be with someone, so that's why I told him that I didn't want to talk to him anymore. I want to move on and work on getting over him, and I can't do that if I'm still talking to him. I also have some pride left. We broke up because we got in a huge fight on New Years Eve, when we were both drunk (of course.) Now he says that he doesn't know who the "real us" is anymore. He says that if the real us is how we were when we started going out for the first month and half, then he wants to try again because we were happy. But if the real us is how we were on new years eve when we got in that fight, then we shouldn't try again. WTF? How could one bad night override almost two months of something that was good? You judge how someone is over time, not how they were one night when they were drunk and not thinking clearly. It baffles me the way his mind works sometimes, it's completely unreasonable. I never should have dated a younger guy, he's too immature. But doing the no contact is the way to go right? I just think that it's the best thing either way. By not talking to him, I can work on getting over him. Or by not talking to him, maybe he'll realize that he's missing out on a good thing and come back. Either way it sucks, but i'll be okay I guess.
crisp Posted January 11, 2005 Posted January 11, 2005 You were together for how long? Not too long is you guys broke up over a fight... People usually split up because the cause of their fight is beyond repair. "the real you" when you were both intoxicated? Hum... it does sound kinda fishy, Jill. On the other hand, he's younger. My bf would tell you you've got a good chance for him to call back... I, on the other hand don't think so. You see, it's harder for younger boys to date women that are not their age. I think girls are much more mature, ask for more, expect a more mature behaviour even when they have the same age as men they are dating, if they want a relationship. You may not realise it or this may not be the case, but I think he does feel a certain pressure ... That's why he took his time off. IT's hard. It's hard for a younger man to be in control. Jilly, he's not the one. Why waiste time? Yes, I bet he's a nice looking man. Do you think you have the patience to stand his next moments of insecurity? Especially when he did not show you he wanted you and he was ready to fight for you. That gives him an advantage over you, should you ever get back together. Will you be able to forget or forgive that? Count your losses and move on. It's the most practical thing you could do.
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