whichwayisup Posted January 16, 2005 Posted January 16, 2005 Reply back then. I'm glad she tried to get hold of you!!!
Author iceisles Posted January 16, 2005 Author Posted January 16, 2005 Originally posted by whichwayisup Reply back then. I'm glad she tried to get hold of you!!! Yeah, I already have. Just when I start to think her interest is waning, she contacts me. It's nice to know that I'm still on her radar.
Author iceisles Posted January 16, 2005 Author Posted January 16, 2005 I invited her to have dinner with me tonight, but she is apparently snowed in at a family member's house today. I do feel good that she returns my voicemails right right away, as it has been my experience that unreturned phone calls are the first major sign of someone distancing themselves from you. It's funny how I was all worked up last week. I guess this kind of stuff can overwhelm you if you're not careful.
Author iceisles Posted January 17, 2005 Author Posted January 17, 2005 Given her continued interest, I've decided to switch from complete NC to limited contact. I am cutting my calls back to once a week for awhile, and these will generally be on Thursday and Friday nights to ask about possibly getting together on Friday night or Saturday night, respectively. I may throw in the occasional Sunday afternoon call to mix things up. My goal here is twofold: 1) To give her even more space/time off from me, something which is frequently encouraged on these boards during the pursuit phase of a relationship and 2) To make it clear that my main method of wanting to get to know her better is through hanging out and not weekday phone calls to ask how class was, etc. I have also decided to cut down on the e-mails, further emphasizing quality over quantity. I am reminded of something someone once told me..."The less you say, the more people remember." I think that was a pretty smart piece of advice. I am going to shoot for memorable contact over routine and potentially overbearing contact. Does this sound reasonable to all of you? I really think I am back to thinking clearly again.
Bronzepen Posted January 17, 2005 Posted January 17, 2005 Originally posted by iceisles Given her continued interest, I've decided to switch from complete NC to limited contact. I am cutting my calls back to once a week for awhile, and these will generally be on Thursday and Friday nights to ask about possibly getting together on Friday night or Saturday night, respectively. I may throw in the occasional Sunday afternoon call to mix things up. My goal here is twofold: 1) To give her even more space/time off from me, something which is frequently encouraged on these boards during the pursuit phase of a relationship and 2) To make it clear that my main method of wanting to get to know her better is through hanging out and not weekday phone calls to ask how class was, etc. I have also decided to cut down on the e-mails, further emphasizing quality over quantity. I am reminded of something someone once told me..."The less you say, the more people remember." I think that was a pretty smart piece of advice. I am going to shoot for memorable contact over routine and potentially overbearing contact. Does this sound reasonable to all of you? I really think I am back to thinking clearly again. No, your thinking too much again about this girl. I would stick to the NC plan, since that is what got her to call you, leave emails and IM. Now that you responded. It's things back to "normal" for her. If you going to follow a pattern of calling her on Thursday and Friday's you will become predictable to her. She will always know that she can count on your call on Thursday and Friday. No need for her to call you. BTW - when you spoke to her when you got back, did you say you had went away and had a great time and you will probably go away again soon. Show her you have a life and your not the "break glass in case of emergency" type.
Author iceisles Posted January 17, 2005 Author Posted January 17, 2005 Hmmm, interesting points. I see what you mean about shifting things back to her. I did mention that I was away and had a great time. I am trying to give the impression that I am keeping busy and have a life (even though I don't. lol). The last thing I want is to become predictable. It will be a good experiment to continue NC and see how she responds. Maybe she got so accustomed to me calling that she never thought of doing it much herself? I think that's a possibility. I've already got her a very thoughtful V-day card and will spend the next few weeks trying to come up with something special that she and I can do. I will equate that day to an audition - I'm will have to give a strong showing if I want to win her heart. And no, folks, that doesn't mean I'm going to hire a private orchestra to play for her outside her house.
Author iceisles Posted January 17, 2005 Author Posted January 17, 2005 Originally posted by Bronzepen Good Luck! Thanks, Bronzepen. Listen, seeing as you're good at this stuff, can you recommend any special/romantic things to do with her that day? Normally I would consider a walk by the lake or taking a drive somewhere, but we're talking mid-February, and it's going to be very cold. Any suggestions for some indoor activities?
Bronzepen Posted January 17, 2005 Posted January 17, 2005 Originally posted by iceisles Thanks, Bronzepen. Listen, seeing as you're good at this stuff, can you recommend any special/romantic things to do with her that day? Normally I would consider a walk by the lake or taking a drive somewhere, but we're talking mid-February, and it's going to be very cold. Any suggestions for some indoor activities? Depends, Is this a date? Or just friends hanging out one night? You have to be clear and upfront with her (and vice versa) on what kind of date it is. If it's just friends then skip the whole romantic night thing. Actually, I would keep the night short and call it early. I'm serious. If it is your first official date then don't get all romantic. You don't want to smother her. Just take her to a place she hasn't been too and you know she will like. A dinner and comedy show is a good start. No flowers on the first date. This is not the prom. Best advice, don't get intimidated. Treat her like friend because you ARE friends. Don't shower her with compliments but tease her. Treat her like your little sister (if you have one). Bottom line, be yourself. Your not going to win her over by being something your not.
Author iceisles Posted January 17, 2005 Author Posted January 17, 2005 Originally posted by Bronzepen Depends, Is this a date? Or just friends hanging out one night? You have to be clear and upfront with her (and vice versa) on what kind of date it is. If it's just friends then skip the whole romantic night thing. Actually, I would keep the night short and call it early. I'm serious. If it is your first official date then don't get all romantic. You don't want to smother her. Just take her to a place she hasn't been too and you know she will like. A dinner and comedy show is a good start. No flowers on the first date. This is not the prom. Best advice, don't get intimidated. Treat her like friend because you ARE friends. Don't shower her with compliments but tease her. Treat her like your little sister (if you have one). Bottom line, be yourself. Your not going to win her over by being something your not. Well, this would technically be our second date, so it would be under romantic pretenses. However, I do think it's too soon for flowers. How about a nice little V-day bear with a card? We are already planning on going to a nice Italian restaurant, and then maybe a comedy club would be a good idea. I suppose there would be nothing wrong with catching a movie, either. And in case you don't remember my previous thread, our first date went remarkably well - we were very close with each other and both agreed that we had a good time. So obviously I want to keep things moving in the right direction by making this special.
Bronzepen Posted January 17, 2005 Posted January 17, 2005 Originally posted by iceisles Well, this would technically be our second date, so it would be under romantic pretenses. However, I do think it's too soon for flowers. How about a nice little V-day bear with a card? We are already planning on going to a nice Italian restaurant, and then maybe a comedy club would be a good idea. I suppose there would be nothing wrong with catching a movie, either. And in case you don't remember my previous thread, our first date went remarkably well - we were very close with each other and both agreed that we had a good time. So obviously I want to keep things moving in the right direction by making this special. OK then do exactly what you did on your first date in terms of conversation. Having said that, skip the movie. You can't talk in a movie. Try a comedy club. You will both have a good time.
Author iceisles Posted January 18, 2005 Author Posted January 18, 2005 It's true we can't talk in a movie, but we can surely cuddle for two hours. That's better than talking, in my book.
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