countryrider13 Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 Ok so basically I'm just venting, but also would like input/opinions. My boyfriend are in love, have been together a while...and really get along great. Problem is we hardly get to see eachother. It's not a long distance relationship cause he's only 40 min. away from me. But due to work schedules now it's hard to see more than 1-2 times a week, and even then we hardly get time just to ourselves. He works 12 hour days (6-6) and I work third shift. I can only sleep in the evenings (when he's off work) cause I'm chasing a 2 y/o around during the day. So our talking has been mainly through text, less phone calls. We're both head over heals for eachother, and want to live together when the time is right. We've talked about marriage, I have 3 kids and he loves them as much as they love him. I'm just having a really hard time with this period of hardly getting to see him. I miss him like crazy and in turn, makes me hang on to every word he says and I tend to over think things. 2 days ago he was on his way home from a long shift and some hose broke on the car so he coasted it home and got it fixed the next day. Then yesterday he was driving home and blew a tire right after a long day of work...which made him crabby...understandable. It's so hard to comfort or want to help when I can't physically be there. I do get to see him Friday as he's spending the night, we'll get to talk about everything under the sun if we want to. But how do I cope with missing him so much. How do I keep sane and know that he'll be grumpy on his bad luck of days and not take things personally? He's never said anything mean or rude to me while crabby, I just sense the "I need alone time to cool off" tone. He still says he loves me, which I know he does, I just overthink things like...he hasn't said he loves me as many times today...small things like that. Just needed to vent I guess. How do you cope with time apart and not seeing eachother/talking to eachother as much?
BikerAccnt Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 Working different shifts is hard. My Ex was a police officer who worked third shift. She loved it, me, not so much. It just means it's extra important that when you do see and talk to each other, you share - a lot - both the good and the bad of your day. It's hard not to overthink (I'm an overthinker myself) when you don't communicate as often as you'd like. And this is funny coming from me because I don't need daily communication. Just try to keep your lines of communication open, and realize that he is probably as frustrated about the situation as you are. Find way's to be supportive without physically being there. Don't overthink. Just because he's had or having a bad day, doesn't mean he is getting upset because you aren't there to help him thru it.
Author countryrider13 Posted January 17, 2014 Author Posted January 17, 2014 we try and plan ahead on when to see eachother. Usually we have a good idea since his days off are the same, where as mine differ week to week. However our plans don't always pan out like I would like. Our last visit was only half a day, and his brother and girlfriend showed up unexpentantly which is fine, I love his family it just cut out our alone time. The time before that, he's a volunteer firefighter and he had a mandatory training that was suppost to last from 7-12 in the morning...well he called me after class started cause they extended it until 3:30 in the afternoon, which put a damper on our plans for the day. Im suppost to pick him up in the morning for our time together today, but I work 3rd shift, and someone called off so I'm mandated to stay over. It just seems to be one thing after another, and neither of us can help it. It's so frustrating. And to answer your question, yes we've definatly talked about marriage. We're in this together for life, so we support eachother, but it's still hard. I seem to be taking things harder, as he's my rock and supports me and says things will work out just fine.
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