Sam23 Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 I was with a guy that treated me great at first, but he quickly turned into an ass. He was selfish, arrogant, immature, etc. but he'd tried to make it up by being funny and be-friending all my friends. Obviously we didn't last. I still have him on Facebook and he's in a new relationship - with a friend of his ex. I know Facebook can be deceiving, but it looks like he's treating her so much better. He was always a commitment phobe, but he's already posting about marriage and moving in with this girl and they haven't even been dating a year! He posts "couple photos" which he's always hated and he's even moving back to his hometown where she lives which is somewhere he said he never wanted to live. Mind you, we were in college when we were seeing each other, so we were bound to have problems. But it's only been 6 or so months! Can people really flip the switch in that short of time??
strive Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 I know Facebook can be deceiving That should be your clue. FB is ****. It's all for show. As for your question, it's possible, but very very rare. It's six months so there's a possibility that your ex DID change, but there's also the possibility he hasn't. Anyway, don't go crazy trying to figure out the answers to questions you shouldn't be asking in the first place. If you're broken up, go NC and don't stalk his FB. Don't waste any more energy on him. 1
pickflicker Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 He probably the same person, and has just met someone he really wants to be with. I think commitment-phobia is an excuse 90% of the time. They just didn't want to commit to you, that's all. 2
Simon Phoenix Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 He probably the same person, and has just met someone he really wants to be with. I think commitment-phobia is an excuse 90% of the time. They just didn't want to commit to you, that's all. Agreed. I don't think he changed at all -- he probably found someone that he wants to put more effort in to for whatever reason. One of my best friends was like this -- he dated a girl for 2.5 years with no real aspirations of making her his wife or anything, but because he liked her and she was convenient (to his credit, he explained this to her several times, she just thought she could change his mind). A couple months after she broke up with him for a third time, this time for good, he met another woman. He made more of an effort within the first two months with her than in 2.5 years with the other woman. A year later they were living together. Less than a year after that they were married. Sometimes it just clicks for a person. 4
Author Sam23 Posted January 16, 2014 Author Posted January 16, 2014 I can agree with everyone's views. He probably did just find someone whom he wants to put more effort into. That kind of stings, but I guess that's part of life.
Simon Phoenix Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 I can agree with everyone's views. He probably did just find someone whom he wants to put more effort into. That kind of stings, but I guess that's part of life. Yeah, I didn't bring that example up to make you feel like crap. Just that sometimes sh*t happens. One day there will be someone who it just "clicks" with for you. To be honest, it doesn't sound like it was clicking too well even when it was going. 2
Author Sam23 Posted January 16, 2014 Author Posted January 16, 2014 Yeah, I didn't bring that example up to make you feel like crap. Just that sometimes sh*t happens. One day there will be someone who it just "clicks" with for you. To be honest, it doesn't sound like it was clicking too well even when it was going. It's ok. It's this truth. We had problems cause it was always more of a one-sided relationship. We had problems because he was extremely immature. I loved him, but I couldn't stand his drinking, his insecurity issues, and the fact he wasn't over his ex (which is funny cause his current gf is her friend). I tried to help him get over some of his issues, but he's so stubborn. Like you said, he probably is still that guy. Maybe he's putting more effort because they click better, but it does sting to think he magically cleaned up his act for someone else in such a short period of time.
lavenderlove Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 I think the guys are right, he just found his 'one'. Although my ex left his previous ex, because she didn't support his career as an artist.....I am an artist so i naturally did. always. Even when he ended up working full time and doing something completely different. I knew he wanted to please me with that, because he knew how much SHE would have appreciated that. I wanted to get married with him, so I think next girl will get the lot. Don't take it to heart.
d0nnivain Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 You said he was good in the beginning of your relationship too so it might not mean anything. However for the right woman, I have seen the most immature men grow up fast.
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