wildsunandmoon Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 When we broke up, my ex didn't seem to care that I was heartbroken. The last time I saw him was when he came to pick up his belongings from my place. We hugged and I started to cry. I held onto him and he just patted my back lightly three times, as if to say, "Alright, that's enough." The week before that, he got nervous when he asked for a break. He told me one thing and told his friend he broke up with me. I told him to pick up his things because I knew he was just prolonging the breakup process. Even though it hurt me to tell him, I knew deep down he wanted to. But he was freaking out to his friend that I told him to pick up his things and started hanging out with other guys (which wasn't true). He said he was in sound relationship and didn't know what was happening. Then when we officially broke it off, he messaged his ex on the same day. Shortly after, he tried talking to a couple of girls who I knew of mutually, tried hooking up with an 18 year-old, told his friend he settled for me, told his friend that he didn't love me as much as I did him, he said that he was isn't over his ex before me, he said that he'd "bust" before opening his eyes if she was in the room with him, he started an online dating profile, he implied that I was fat, he called me a c**t after sending him my last message ever and blocking him on Facebook, he befriended a person that I have bad history with and he went out to parties right after. He said I was a good girl, but he's too psycho for me. He said he's hates people who love him. He said he would crash my birthday celebration just to see his friends and feed off my unhappy reaction. He didn't even greet me on my birthday. Instead, on that day he told his friend that I was a b**ch for becoming friends with one of the girls on purpose to intercept him. He said the relationship wasn't right. He totally abandoned me when I didn't abandon him when he was arrested, relapsed on drugs and went to rehab. The last message I sent him before blocking all contact from his was to say that he didn't deserve my kindness. That he is an emotionally unstable person and needs to work on himself before being with someone else. That he did me a favor by dumping me because his presence was toxic in my life. Since then, I haven't heard a word from him and it's been 4 months. Why doesn't he care that he hurt me? Will dumpers ever realize the pain they've brought to someone who didn't deserve it? Do they ever reflect and feel guilt?
pickflicker Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 What do they (dumpers in general) have to feel guilty about? Specifically, if you were happy to stand by him when he did drugs, got arrested, and went to rehab, that doesn't mean he's obliged to give the same to you. Frankly, that should have been your first major alarm bell. If you were happy for him to call you abusive names, you're not 'owed' some apology, like that will fix everything. You let him treat you like crap. And then it sounds like he did you a favour by leaving. I'd be apologising to yourself for allowing such a douchbag to have control for so long. You can't expect kindness from others, when you're not even willing to be kind to yourself. 2
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