NYyanks819 Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 Hey guys, Ok so my story is probably a little different than most but for anyone who is interested basically I fell for a women through social media aka Facebook. She gave me signs on Facebook that she was interested in me, but supposedly set me up to get her ex bf jealous and although she continued to give me signs that she was single and broken up.. I messaged her and she said she was with him for the last year.. yeah hurt pretty bad. ANyways I have deleted all my social media profiles and need a change ( I was basically doing things like going out, vacations, pics with women etc just to show off how good of life is for me or with me) I am on day 7 now and for some reason It seems to be harder and am thinking about her more than I was the last few days. Am curious to know if she really did play a joke on me (Aka use me to get back with her ex) or wasn't a joke and really is into me.. regardless enough is enough I need my life back.. How long does it usually take and is this normal? Anyone who followed NC can help.. Basically I am NOT looking at her or her friends or anyone else profiles (they live far away so won't run into them) Thanks for any help. This went on for just under a year!!
mantlefan Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 Hey guys, Ok so my story is probably a little different than most but for anyone who is interested basically I fell for a women through social media aka Facebook. She gave me signs on Facebook that she was interested in me, but supposedly set me up to get her ex bf jealous and although she continued to give me signs that she was single and broken up.. I messaged her and she said she was with him for the last year.. yeah hurt pretty bad. ANyways I have deleted all my social media profiles and need a change ( I was basically doing things like going out, vacations, pics with women etc just to show off how good of life is for me or with me) I am on day 7 now and for some reason It seems to be harder and am thinking about her more than I was the last few days. Am curious to know if she really did play a joke on me (Aka use me to get back with her ex) or wasn't a joke and really is into me.. regardless enough is enough I need my life back.. How long does it usually take and is this normal? Anyone who followed NC can help.. Basically I am NOT looking at her or her friends or anyone else profiles (they live far away so won't run into them) Thanks for any help. This went on for just under a year!! Whether it was a joke or if she was using you to make him jealous, never have anything to do with her again.
Author NYyanks819 Posted January 15, 2014 Author Posted January 15, 2014 (edited) Thank you, that is what I needed to hear.. Did the right thing when she said I have been dating xx for a year now please stop with these messages.. I didn't react I deactivated my profile etc.. Thanks I need the support from this forum.. I also talk to 2 other women down here, but for some reason I just compare them to her.. It is not like I don't have other women in my life it was just something about her, everyone says to go out with other women, sleep with them etc so I thought that would work but it makes me compare them to her… Edited January 15, 2014 by NYyanks819
Author NYyanks819 Posted January 16, 2014 Author Posted January 16, 2014 I guess my question is though for everyone why does day 7 seem harder than lets say 2-5? Is it true the second week is the hardest.. I think the first 30 days are the toughest, In the past I would go up to 15 days without looking at her social media.. but then get set back.
mantlefan Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 For me, the first few days I was sort of in shock, and I still had a week of work to go. Once I got alone with my thoughts... That's when it got rough. The key is healthy habits, and going out with friends and putting on a happy face, even when all you want to do is cry on your friends, lol.
Author NYyanks819 Posted January 16, 2014 Author Posted January 16, 2014 ok got it, that is my thing when I start to wonder/get depressed etc I come on here to get support, I am just hoping it gets easier after the first couple weeks!
Author NYyanks819 Posted January 16, 2014 Author Posted January 16, 2014 Day 8 today for me guys! staying strong, keeping myself busy with work and fitness are my two goals for this year.. Will continue to update, just need the support to stay away from this women.. She also "got around" in high school so I keep telling myself that as well. Another thing, I think that helps is to not focus on meeting someone but to better myself in other areas, issue is if I do that I will compare them to her etc so for they first 60 days I am working on myself
Chi townD Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 I guess my question is though for everyone why does day 7 seem harder than lets say 2-5? Is it true the second week is the hardest.. I think the first 30 days are the toughest, In the past I would go up to 15 days without looking at her social media.. but then get set back. Doesn't have to be day 7. Every person is different. for some people, it could be day 30. Different strokes for different folks.
Author NYyanks819 Posted January 19, 2014 Author Posted January 19, 2014 Ok guys Day 11 for me today now, keeping NC strong having checked any of her social media, etc. I had a dream last night about her that we went to the movies together etc. woke up kind of depressed (don't want to be dreaming about her) Today is tough, just trying to get my mind as busy as possible… I think the one thing I need is to meet a women just like her.. ( 20s, good job, in shape, no kids etc) that is my problem once I do that I know I will be over her faster… I am talking to two women now but both have been divorced have kids, etc
ithappenedagain Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 I think the one thing I need is to meet a women just like her.. ( 20s, good job, in shape, no kids etc) that is my problem once I do that I know I will be over her faster… I am talking to two women now but both have been divorced have kids, etc Careful man.... You just said a few posts up that you were not going to make it a point to go out and find someone else right away. You were gonna give yourself 60 days to work you 'you'.. remember.. I would just hate for you to use someone else as a band-aid for the reason you are on this site. Hang in there. Good job on NC
organizedchaos Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 Hey guys, Ok so my story is probably a little different than most but for anyone who is interested basically I fell for a women through social media aka Facebook. She gave me signs on Facebook that she was interested in me, but supposedly set me up to get her ex bf jealous and although she continued to give me signs that she was single and broken up.. I messaged her and she said she was with him for the last year.. yeah hurt pretty bad. ANyways I have deleted all my social media profiles and need a change ( I was basically doing things like going out, vacations, pics with women etc just to show off how good of life is for me or with me) I am on day 7 now and for some reason It seems to be harder and am thinking about her more than I was the last few days. Am curious to know if she really did play a joke on me (Aka use me to get back with her ex) or wasn't a joke and really is into me.. regardless enough is enough I need my life back.. How long does it usually take and is this normal? Anyone who followed NC can help.. Basically I am NOT looking at her or her friends or anyone else profiles (they live far away so won't run into them) Thanks for any help. This went on for just under a year!! I'm confused...did you actually date this girl and for how long?
Author NYyanks819 Posted January 21, 2014 Author Posted January 21, 2014 Yeah that was my question, about hanging out with others to cope.. Issue is don't you think my mind would be distracted when I meet someone similar and make her seem like she's not the only "one" out there ? ANd I actually didn't date the girl, she used me and set me up on FB Made herself look single to get her ex bf back basically. Played a ton of games etc
ks0985 Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 Your spending too much time thinking about this and over thinking the situation, which makes me think you have too much free time. I had the same type of situation so what I did was pick up a second job. Its kept me really busy and focused on moving forward. My second job is also bartending so work g with gorgeous women has helped me too
Author NYyanks819 Posted January 21, 2014 Author Posted January 21, 2014 I agree man that is my biggest problem!! Lol I work for myself, and find myself with WAY TOO MUCH time on my hands.. so I end up wasting time online etc.. I am considering getting the second job that is actually a great idea!
Saurren Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 I"m on hour 18 and going strong. LOL and I"m just laughing and enjoying my coffee.
Author NYyanks819 Posted January 21, 2014 Author Posted January 21, 2014 Lol haha this forum is the best, I really think maybe bar tending 2-3 nights a week would be great! Working for yourself is tough because I sit around and do nothing all day if I have no leads etc…At least bar tending will keep me around gorgeous women and stay busy instead of wasting time online stalking people etc lol
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