sunkiss Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 I’ve been reading a lot on this forum and I decided its finally time for me to share, so here is my story. About 4 months ago my boyfriend suddenly told me he didn’t want to be with me anymore. It was sudden, unexpected, out of the blue. He told me in the future we could find each other again etc, but right now he didn’t want a girlfriend. He didn’t think he felt the same anymore. This was after us dating for over two and a half years. I was absolutely shattered; I had given everything to this relationship and did not see this coming in the slightest. I think this may have some resemblance to GIGS, we are both young and I feel as though he wanted to get out and be single while he still could. (He is 18, I am 20). This was also a LDR, I studied 2 and a half hours away from our home town. Post break up, we had extremely limited contact (I was shattered, and had exams coming up that I needed to try and focus on) which in a way kept me busy. He couldn’t understand why I wouldn’t reply sometimes, I think it got to him a bit. Right after exams we had a party at our flat, and due to one of my flat mates being close to my ex, he was invited. (We have similar extended friend circles). It was the first time I had seen him in a long time, and we had a big talk about everything that has been going on for each of us recently. We were getting on extremely well. Then I returned home, and we began to hang out regularly (most days we would spend time together again). He told me he was confused about his feelings, he had feelings coming back he didn’t think that he would. Things continued to stay good. The most recent month he has been away and I have been incredibly busy yet again with other commitments. Our contact has been limited again. My sister then told me yesterday that she heard he had slept with one of her friends friends the past weekend while away partying. I am gutted. I don’t know what he has been doing in terms of girls but hearing that is a slap in the face. We have been together since he was 14, and I know that’s a long time for a young person to be in a committed relationship, but I honestly thought things were going to get back on track eventually. I have started NC again, I am not going to ask him about sleeping with other people because it isn’t my business anymore, I just needed to post while all my hope was going down the drain. I just miss him like crazy. For now, if he can be seeing other people I think I need to get myself to a place where I can see other people to see what I really want, because at the moment I still want him. I just don’t know how to get myself there. Or if I really even want to.
Philosoraptor Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 It seems like you've got a good head on your shoulders. Yes, you need to get to a place personally where you can move on as well... because that is what he did. The "we'll find each other later" is a cowards statement meant to either keep you on the hook "just in case" the fun doesn't work out as he expected or because he was too chicken to tell you the truth. Just continue to take care of yourself, find a little bit of enjoyment in every moment, and make best use of the little bit of time we have here in this life.
Author sunkiss Posted January 16, 2014 Author Posted January 16, 2014 Thank you for your kind words. That is what I am really struggling with, the moving forward part. Knowing that he can and has really makes me want to be able to do it though. I just don't know how to do it. I also think there is some of me holding on to the glimmer of hope that he will come back. I know it is basically pointless but I don't know how to let that go either. Is this what is stopping me, or is that something completely different?
sw2020 Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 Sounds like you will move forward well. One thing you can't speed up is time.
Author sunkiss Posted January 17, 2014 Author Posted January 17, 2014 I wish you could speed up the time it takes to heal. Some days you feel happy and fine with yourself and being on your own, and other days its a complete turn around. At the moment I am having more good days than bad, so I hope this keeps up. There is still a part of me that always thinks of him though. I hate that he can still have that control over me when he doesn't have the same issues.
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