datingnoob93 Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 OK so I finally managed to squeeze a 4th date out of this girl I have been chasing and posting about for 6 weeks now. I haven't seen her at all in the last 3+ weeks due to her being away for winter break, and the most we've done so far is kiss and hold hands on the last date. I was hoping to step it up a notch and do something cool this time around like skating, hiking, snowboarding, etc. Like physical, active things where we could have fun together and hopefully take things to the next level as opposed to the boring restaurant/movie. She said she didn't have time due to being really busy (2 jobs plus full class load), but suggested we meet up for ice cream this coming Thursday. Yep, that's ice cream. On the 4th friggin date (if you even call it that). In the 1 hour time frame between her getting off of work and having to go to her evening class. In the same mall she works at, so I can't even pick her up and make out in the car. Totally in public without any real alone time. In the winter. So how do I conduct myself this thursday ? Probably she either thinks I'm just a friend now, or she is testing me. Maybe she might be hitting the reset button given that we haven't seen each other for weeks and she wants to see if I'm suitable to continue dating. So how I act is key to ensuring another date and hopefully some intimacy soon. What should I say to her ? Other posters have suggested to me she isn't interested, but if this were the case she wouldn't keep dating me, especially since we've already kissed and held hands. I really want to keep dating her but I want to escalate things physically, she's just not giving me that chance with a @#%@# ice cream "date" in public. Thanks.
mammasita Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 So what part of her not having time is hard to understand? It sounds to me like she's squeezing you into her busy schedule because she likes you and you're moaning and groaning about not being able to make out in your car. Am I missing something? 3
ChatroomHero Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 she's just not giving me that chance with a @#%@# ice cream "date" in public. Well it's not super encouraging to meet like that but I would say back off your "master plan" a bit, it sounds like you have planned a timeframe and how and when things should go down which usually seems to put undue pressure on a relationship. Take it for what it is worth, her only free time that she at least is willing to make time to see you. Think of a way to make it more fun, if she shows up thinking it is a friend zone ice cream date and she leaves there laughing her ass off you win.
Shosh Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 Sounds to me like she is very busy, but also wants to take it slow. My advice would be to just be a great date on Thursday, laugh, have a good time and make her want to see you again. Don't push for something sexual if you like this girl and want to keep seeing her. If you just care about getting laid put the moves on her but don't be surprised if the next date will be your last with her.
Author datingnoob93 Posted January 15, 2014 Author Posted January 15, 2014 I guess it just seems like meeting for ice cream screams "first date" or even prelim "just getting to know you" before a real first date. OK so it looks like I'm not getting into her pants any time soon but we should at least be doing some cool stuff together not just sitting across or next to each other talking. I run out of stuff to say and I want to fill it with some action. I know she's busy and stuff but seriously I would make time for a date and try to prioritize it instead of "squeezing it in" between work, school, and other stuff on the schedule. I would totally skip an evening class for her so we can got out for a real date but I'm getting the impression she thinks everything else is more important than me. Its like her priorities are 1. school 2. jobs, 3. her girlfriends 4. random junk (hopefully not other guys lol), and finally 5. ME. I was hoping I'd be higher on that list by now after all these dates but I guess not.
ChatroomHero Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 I know she's busy and stuff but seriously I would make time for a date and try to prioritize it instead of "squeezing it in" between work, school, and other stuff on the schedule. You would assuming you were highly attracted to her and "sold" on her. It's not the movies, love at first sight or bust. If you were mildly attracted to a girl you might make time for her but not make her a top priority. Truth be told you are probably not her dream guy and she is probably on the fence about you so you might be priority number 15 instead of being in the top 5, but that can change if you play it right. 2
Frank2thepoint Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 Yep, that's ice cream. On the 4th friggin date (if you even call it that). In the 1 hour time frame between her getting off of work and having to go to her evening class. In the same mall she works at, so I can't even pick her up and make out in the car. Totally in public without any real alone time. In the winter. You can have ice cream and kiss, all within an hour. Don't sweat the time too much. Just have fun with her for that one hour date. That way you are leaving her with a good impression for a fifth date.
organizedchaos Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 I guess it just seems like meeting for ice cream screams "first date" or even prelim "just getting to know you" before a real first date. OK so it looks like I'm not getting into her pants any time soon but we should at least be doing some cool stuff together not just sitting across or next to each other talking. I run out of stuff to say and I want to fill it with some action. I know she's busy and stuff but seriously I would make time for a date and try to prioritize it instead of "squeezing it in" between work, school, and other stuff on the schedule. I would totally skip an evening class for her so we can got out for a real date but I'm getting the impression she thinks everything else is more important than me. Its like her priorities are 1. school 2. jobs, 3. her girlfriends 4. random junk (hopefully not other guys lol), and finally 5. ME. I was hoping I'd be higher on that list by now after all these dates but I guess not. Just because YOU would skip a class to see her doesn't mean she would. And the bolded part - maybe you need to either accept this is how it will be with her, or move on. Personally, I'd go radio silent for a while on her. See if she really wants you.
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