Matt4994 Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 So after 1 month of LC, she (the dumper) made the decision that she didn't want to be in communication as much. I agreed and said that I would not contact her in anyway unless she contacted me first. At first it was hard trying not to dial her number but that struggle has passed a bit. After about 2 weeks of not hearing from her I bump into her over Christmas and everything was fine. Then she texted me the next day and called me a week after that. Now at the week and a half point of not hearing from her all I do is think about when she will call again. At this point I would much rather just go NC for a certain amount of time to release the stress brought on by the wait but I don't want to be the one to call first as I promised I wouldn't call. Should I call anyway to let her know or just wait until she calls and bring it up then?
flightplan Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 Personally, I would wait. If she wants to talk, she'll reach out. She knows your there. 1
iworthmore Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 DONT!! if she wants you she will come after you.. stay NC. start moving on process. if she contact you dont be available.. if she don't u will be moving on
jphcbpa Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 DO NOT. she is the dumper. I would proceed as if you will never hear from or see her again. she is just stringing you along. you need to look out for # 1 and protect your serenity. if she does reach out...beware and be slow to respond.
Author Matt4994 Posted January 15, 2014 Author Posted January 15, 2014 What if I add a little more information into the issue. The bu was about a month before thanksgiving. We talked and meet and hung out for two days over thanksgiving as if we were together again and talked about how we wished things would work and ended up sleeping together twice (she initiated). Then we continued talking and I was supposed to go see her midway between Thanksgiving and Christmas when she decided she wasn't ready for that yet. Shortly after that after many times talking was when we agreed to the she will be the one that makes contact. Then when I bumped into her on Christmas I was literally just going to turn around and leave but she came over and hugged and kissed me and then we talked for an hour before I had to leave. So I left and an hour later she called to talk more. The next day she then texted me and that was the last I heard from her until last Monday when we talked again for about an hour. That's it and now I just keep thinking about when the next time she is going to call me will be. I'm not going to call her. I am a man of my word and said I would not contact her first so I won't. The other issue is I feel like if I got the chance to show her that I have figured everything out since the break up things will change and we would be together again. It is my second ltr but the first didn't end in as many tears and regret about the bu between the two of us as this one did. I really think she still cares, but that may just be me being superficial.
jphcbpa Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 if she dumped you, the ball is in her court. she can contact you, but I would not wait around. I would get busy with your life and move on. you are not together and are a free man. when you do interact, keep it light/fun and happy. 2
strive Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 What if I add a little more information into the issue. The bu was about a month before thanksgiving. We talked and meet and hung out for two days over thanksgiving as if we were together again and talked about how we wished things would work and ended up sleeping together twice (she initiated). Then we continued talking and I was supposed to go see her midway between Thanksgiving and Christmas when she decided she wasn't ready for that yet. Shortly after that after many times talking was when we agreed to the she will be the one that makes contact. Then when I bumped into her on Christmas I was literally just going to turn around and leave but she came over and hugged and kissed me and then we talked for an hour before I had to leave. So I left and an hour later she called to talk more. The next day she then texted me and that was the last I heard from her until last Monday when we talked again for about an hour. That's it and now I just keep thinking about when the next time she is going to call me will be. I'm not going to call her. I am a man of my word and said I would not contact her first so I won't. The other issue is I feel like if I got the chance to show her that I have figured everything out since the break up things will change and we would be together again. It is my second ltr but the first didn't end in as many tears and regret about the bu between the two of us as this one did. I really think she still cares, but that may just be me being superficial. idk, from where I'm sitting it looks like she's using you as an emotional tampon while she tries to face the Big Bad World out there. If BBW seems scary, she can just easily run back to you for support before facing the BBW again until such time that she doesn't need you anymore or find someone else that can support her. Go complete NC, start moving on. Don't be her doormat.
Author Matt4994 Posted January 15, 2014 Author Posted January 15, 2014 if she dumped you, the ball is in her court. she can contact you, but I would not wait around. I would get busy with your life and move on. you are not together and are a free man. when you do interact, keep it light/fun and happy. I've been keeping myself as busy as I can; however the second I get done working out, running or taking a class at a gym I start to think about her again. I've lost quite a bit of weight (more than I probably should have) since bu because of my workout schedule and eating as healthy as humanly possible. I have not gotten any sleep though. It started waking up at 4:30 then 3:30 and now it's 1:30 and I just lay there unable to fall back asleep thinking about her. I tried getting rid of everything that reminds me of her as well but after 8 years literally everything reminds me of her, the bed sheets and pillows, the furniture, my clothes...
jphcbpa Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 I've been keeping myself as busy as I can; however the second I get done working out, running or taking a class at a gym I start to think about her again. I've lost quite a bit of weight (more than I probably should have) since bu because of my workout schedule and eating as healthy as humanly possible. I have not gotten any sleep though. It started waking up at 4:30 then 3:30 and now it's 1:30 and I just lay there unable to fall back asleep thinking about her. I tried getting rid of everything that reminds me of her as well but after 8 years literally everything reminds me of her, the bed sheets and pillows, the furniture, my clothes... Look, she is either in or she is out. She is taking your serenity at this point and that should be your # 1 priority. You need to go into survival mood ASAP.
Author Matt4994 Posted January 22, 2014 Author Posted January 22, 2014 Thank you for the help. I am getting over it slowly. I blocked her number the other day and I almost have the courage built up to delete her from all other sources of contact. I'll get through it in the end. I felt really good the past few nights and then again last night had another dream and it's been terribly today, but hopefully tomorrow is better!
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