Chinaski Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 An attractive woman saw me online and initiated her interest, I let her know was also interested, and after a bunch of emails, we decided to meet. Upon first laying eyes on each other there were definitely happyhappyjoyjoy faces on both of us. After sitting down at our table we both mentioned how hot it was in the restaurant (but the indoor temp was not actually the most likely cause of the "heat" we both felt). Really fun conversation followed, followed by some less fun, but interesting, more serious topics she raised. The place was emptying out, she seemed a little tired, we left. In the parking I initiated a hug, she readily and tightly hugged me back for a long time (15-30 seconds, nice, comfortable). I followed this hug up with a gentle kiss on the lips, paused a second and released my embrace so she could head on to her car, then told her I just had to have another kiss, and she again moved in to meet my lips once more. Just sweet, innocent, gentle kisses. Then we bid one another good night. What do you think is the true meaning in this email the woman sent to me just 30 minutes after ending our first date (which lasted just over 2 hours -- it was basically a "meet 'n greet" over drinks and appetizer)? "Hey Henry, Thank you for the drinks and guacamole. It was a pleasure meeting you. The hour is late and my bed was calling, so sorry to be so abrupt just hit my wall. Good nite."
MidwestUSA Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 Why would you look for a hidden meaning? 7
Author Chinaski Posted January 15, 2014 Author Posted January 15, 2014 Why would you look for a hidden meaning? Is there any? ;o)
Philosoraptor Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 Wait what? Not only did she embrace you but she made a point to message you afterwards in order to let you know she had a good time and make sure you knew she was interested. There must be an ulterior motive! Setup the next date already and don't worry about the silly games you're playing with yourself right now. 9
Frank2thepoint Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 She is acknowledging she had a good time with you. She seems like a respectable human being. Don't analyze the message too much. She's not going to come out and say she saw sparks fly and she can't wait to make out with you. This was just the first date. Let it simmer and ask her out for another one. 2
Untouchable_Fire Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 Is there any? ;o) Set up a second date ASAP. This one is straight forward. Good sign you found someone quality. 4
Author Chinaski Posted January 15, 2014 Author Posted January 15, 2014 (edited) I was definitely going to ask her out again for something more "date-y" (less "meet 'n greet-y"). I will write an update in this thread to share what happens next! [Wanted to add: she didn't mention the music CD I made for her -- that's the only "flag" if I had to be super-anal. And yeah, it is a little important to me she enjoys at least half of the 18 songs... She knows music is something I really enjoy, solo and with others] Edited January 15, 2014 by Chinaski mention the CD
Author Chinaski Posted January 16, 2014 Author Posted January 16, 2014 "Hey Henry, Thank you for the invitation but I don't feel we've got potential. You're a nice man and I wish you all the best. Lynn " Ain't dating fun?
MidwestUSA Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 "Hey Henry, Thank you for the invitation but I don't feel we've got potential. You're a nice man and I wish you all the best. Lynn " Ain't dating fun? Sorry to hear that. She gets points for straight up honesty tho. Next! 3
Eau Claire Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 Someone has an imagination. It's surprising how many guys start new accounts to express some fantasy. Usually ends in some rejection by the woman. Then the other guys sitting in their mothers' basements can chirp in about being hard done by because women today are such... Hint...first thing I do is look at how many posts a guy has when reading his story.
blackpajamas Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 Seems good to me, set up a date. Way to use Bukowski's fictional version of himself for your handle. You do realize he was a misogynist right?
MidwestUSA Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 Seems good to me, set up a date. Way to use Bukowski's fictional version of himself for your handle. You do realize he was a misogynist right? He was a misanthrope. Equal opportunity.
CptSaveAho Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 (edited) Someone has an imagination. It's surprising how many guys start new accounts to express some fantasy. Usually ends in some rejection by the woman. Then the other guys sitting in their mothers' basements can chirp in about being hard done by because women today are such... Hint...first thing I do is look at how many posts a guy has when reading his story. right because a guy that made a cd for her to listen to on a meet n great cant spin a whirlwind romance without knowing it only for the woman to not feel the same way about him when the emotions go down and shes back at reality the next day.... sounds pretty normal to me... the people that told him to set up a second date ASAP screwed the pooch for him, he should have let it simmer more Edited January 16, 2014 by CptSaveAho
soccerrprp Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 No hidden message. You should ask for another date.
Eau Claire Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 right because a guy that made a cd for her to listen to on a meet n great cant spin a whirlwind romance without knowing it only for the woman to not feel the same way about him when the emotions go down and shes back at reality the next day.... sounds pretty normal to me... the people that told him to set up a second date ASAP screwed the pooch for him, he should have let it simmer more We realize English isn't your first language. Google has a good translation program. Just need to write it out in your native language first.
Frank2thepoint Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 "Hey Henry, Thank you for the invitation but I don't feel we've got potential. You're a nice man and I wish you all the best. Lynn " Ain't dating fun? Damn. Well at least she was honest with you and did not lead you on. Keep hunting. 2
Frank2thepoint Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 the people that told him to set up a second date ASAP screwed the pooch for him, he should have let it simmer more Nope. He had a date with the girl, kissed her, was romantic, and asked her out again. Chinaski knows what he wants. And he knows he does not want drama, so he keeps it moving. Letting it simmer longer is for wishy-washy people that are afraid and unsure if the beans are properly cooked. 4
isisisweeping Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 Sorry it didn't work out for you this time! I find it's best not to obsess over possible hidden meanings. I mean, do you try to sneak them in everything you do? I sure don't, so why assume others have put in so much effort to not just be clear?
InnocentMan Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 You made her a mix tape before you even met her? Smooth bro. You just cost yourself a month or two of possible sex. 4
acrosstheuniverse Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 As a woman, if I really like a guy after first date I can't wait for him to message to arrange another. Him waiting isn't going to make me like him any more, but it may make me like him slightly less if it goes on for too long as I'll probably have come to terms with the idea that he's not that into me. There's nothing to lose by asking her out soon after the first date (although I wouldn't do it ON the date, as some men have done to me). Either she likes you and says yes, or she doesn't like you and you've saved yourself a lot of waiting around and stewing. Waiting a few days isn't going to change my mind if I've already decided I'm not into someone. You did the right thing, it didn't work out this time but many women will admire your balls and that you go after what you want. And yes, she gets points for straight-up honesty. Only thing I'd say is that I'd think it a little intense if a guy pulled me back saying he just had to kiss me again, on a first date... maybe leave a woman wanting more rather than 100% sure you are really into her. Next! 1
Author Chinaski Posted January 16, 2014 Author Posted January 16, 2014 Someone has an imagination. It's surprising how many guys start new accounts to express some fantasy. Usually ends in some rejection by the woman. Then the other guys sitting in their mothers' basements can chirp in about being hard done by because women today are such... Hint...first thing I do is look at how many posts a guy has when reading his story. And, oh the harm someone's Daddy must have caused you... Yeah, two can play that game....
Author Chinaski Posted January 16, 2014 Author Posted January 16, 2014 Sorry it didn't work out for you this time! I find it's best not to obsess over possible hidden meanings. I mean, do you try to sneak them in everything you do? I sure don't, so why assume others have put in so much effort to not just be clear? I read in her first reply that she was merely being polite and trying to insinuate (not very well IMHO) we weren't a good match. So I was looking for others to see what I think I saw.... Thanks for the encouragement! Nothing gets me down for long!
Author Chinaski Posted January 16, 2014 Author Posted January 16, 2014 He was a misanthrope. Equal opportunity. Even Bukowski ended up happily married in the end. Everyone should go see the upcoming movie Ham on Rye (James Franco spearheads it). Indulge my digression: Bukowski's gravestone reads: "Don't Try," a phrase which Bukowski uses in one of his poems, advising aspiring writers and poets about inspiration and creativity. Bukowski explained the phrase in a 1963 letter to John William Corrington: "Somebody at one of these places [...] asked me: 'What do you do? How do you write, create?' You don't, I told them. You don't try. That's very important: not to try, either for Cadillacs, creation or immortality. You wait, and if nothing happens, you wait some more. It's like a bug high on the wall. You wait for it to come to you. When it gets close enough you reach out, slap out and kill it. Or if you like its looks you make a pet out of it."
365daysgone Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 Don't respond right away. Wait two or three days then respond. Let her brain run circles for a bit and let done mystery simmer. Don't become too available or she'll suddenly not see you as a catch. Your behavior should be like you get nights like that all the time. Good luck. And there's the definition of playing games...
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