johnww92 Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 I have been dating my girl for around 2 months and everything is going good but I'm very insecure and i'm afraid its slowly pushing her away. Ever since we'v been going out when we are not together I'm always worrying that shes txting other guys and paranoid that she will end it with me any day for no reason. Also if we are txting and she takes long to reply i take that as a sign of rejection and its destroying me inside. I read up things online and I know I'm insecure for no reason and I'm trying my best to overcome it like if she doesn't txt me back anymore it kills me inside but I force myself to not keep txting her and just give her space and I think its kind of getting better now since I have accepted the fact I'm insecure and trying my best not to be clingy. So my question is, should I tell her about my insecurity or will that just freak her out. I don't mind fighting this on my own but would it be easier if I told her? Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 I think you need to figure out how to work on this internally. Why do you worry? Do you not trust her? What reasons might you have to believe she would be going behind your back? Link to post Share on other sites
Madman81 Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 Telling her will drive her away, because it'll make you look clingy, needy and unsure of yourself. Insecurity like that should not be revealed two months into a relationship. Two months is nothing; you barely know each other, you're enjoying each other's company, enjoying the early rush of hormones, flirting a lot, learning about each other. If there's going to be the possibility of something longer-term, its foundation is being built right now. You need the foundation firmly in place before you reveal vulnerability like that. So, as a guy, your personal focus needs to be on things that BUILD her attraction to you, not damage it. You need to be confident, outgoing, funny, and active. Lavish her with attention when she's with you, keep up communication when she's not, but DON'T overdo it. I'm not saying "don't feel insecure" -- I'm saying, don't SHOW that you're feeling insecure. This probably sounds a bit superficial, but it's true. Link to post Share on other sites
soccerrprp Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 I agree with others. Deal with this on your own. YOU WILL LOSE her if you come across as clingy and suspicious. Keep that in mind. Link to post Share on other sites
mariposa_13 Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 You shouldn't tell her you are insecure, its really unattractive.. plus you will come across as clingy if you tell her how paranoid you are.. a huge turn off! If you are very insecure she will be able to tell anyway, so you don't actually need to tell her anything. In the way you behave and act around her try to act more confident and care-free. When I was younger I used to be insecure, and my ex picked up on it and he told me I was. But the way he treated me made me feel less insecure...and now over the years I have worked on my issues and I feel a lot more confident in myself. So, like the others have said, work on your issues yourself and don't let them come between you and your relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author johnww92 Posted January 15, 2014 Author Share Posted January 15, 2014 Telling her will drive her away, because it'll make you look clingy, needy and unsure of yourself. Insecurity like that should not be revealed two months into a relationship. Two months is nothing; you barely know each other, you're enjoying each other's company, enjoying the early rush of hormones, flirting a lot, learning about each other. If there's going to be the possibility of something longer-term, its foundation is being built right now. You need the foundation firmly in place before you reveal vulnerability like that. So, as a guy, your personal focus needs to be on things that BUILD her attraction to you, not damage it. You need to be confident, outgoing, funny, and active. Lavish her with attention when she's with you, keep up communication when she's not, but DON'T overdo it. I'm not saying "don't feel insecure" -- I'm saying, don't SHOW that you're feeling insecure. This probably sounds a bit superficial, but it's true. I agree no matter however paranoid or insecure I'll feel towards her I'm just gonna hide it and pretend everything is ok and overcome it in my own way. Thanks for the advice! Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 If you must talk to her about this tell her the concrete steps you are taking to improve your own self esteem. Once you believe in yourself you won't automatically think a delay in your GF texting you back is anything other than she didn't have her phone with her at the moment. My husband took 3 hours to respond to a text I sent him this morning. I didn't think he was cheating. I thought -- correctly -- that he was in a meeting. People have lives & they aren't connected to their phones. You do need to overcome these paranoid feelings because constantly being suspicious for no reason will drive her away. Link to post Share on other sites
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