BoatingBabe Posted January 11, 2005 Posted January 11, 2005 Ok, so the MM at work started to simmer down for a few days after I did not return any reaction after his romantic card. So I was thinking he's moving on, right?. Wrong! Today he called me from home at work...At first he called for a professional question which was BS because he did not need to call me for that...Then we start chatting and he basically invited me to go to his Church with him? So I told him I was roman catholic and fine with my faith..He continued to tell me his reasons why I should go to this church with him. I gave the phone to my receptionist and she started on that "why are you sneaking phonecalls away from your wife, doesn't your wife go to church with you....?" etc. He told her to stop saying those things in front of me and that he left her... So I really don't know what to believe...but a MM asking me to go to Church with him is kinda odd...I know he's religious and all...but it was my understanding religious men don't cheat?
Mr Spock Posted January 11, 2005 Posted January 11, 2005 HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA He wants to hump AND convert you. Let your receptionist yell at him some more. Let her tell him if he continues to call she'll tell his wife.
Author BoatingBabe Posted January 11, 2005 Author Posted January 11, 2005 Damn....God I hope that's not true...LOL Letting his pastor know he has the hots for someone other than his wife is probably not a very christian thing to do...
erika2610 Posted January 11, 2005 Posted January 11, 2005 Or so you would think Hun, my MM went to church FAITHFULLY with his family.. kids went to bible school.. blah blah blah. They were nothin but religion. But yet seeing me for a year every chance he got..
Mustard Bomb Posted January 11, 2005 Posted January 11, 2005 He could be trying to a) save you or b) legitimize you.
midori Posted January 11, 2005 Posted January 11, 2005 It sounds to me like this guy is just plain nuts. The less you have to do with him, the better. If your receptionist answers your incoming calls, tell her to just take messages from him going forward. If it's business-related, you can follow up, if it's not, you can toss the message. And if you have caller ID on your office phone and can tell who's calling you in-house, let your voicemail pick up calls from him. Again, if it's legitimate business, he'll leave a message. If he doesn't leave a message, he was probably calling with more nonsense. Seriously, this guy sounds unbalanced. Go to church with him? Yikes. And to persist even after you politely decline? Double yikes.
Mr Spock Posted January 11, 2005 Posted January 11, 2005 I'd say it's pretty weird too. Like freak weird. Do you altar boy style weird. Cult style weird.
LucreziaBorgia Posted January 11, 2005 Posted January 11, 2005 Unless you turn him down flat and insist that any and all conversation stay focused on work with threat of sexual harassment charges, he will continue to think that you are encouraging him and will likely not leave you alone. Unless, of course you are subconsciously hoping that something will happen between you two.
Author BoatingBabe Posted January 11, 2005 Author Posted January 11, 2005 Originally posted by Mustard Bomb He could be trying to a) save you or b) legitimize you. legitimize me??? what does that mean? He is a married man, no church I know will legitimize an extramarrital "affair" emotional or whatever...He told my sec. that first he needs to tell the people there about me before he introduces me? LOL wtf?
Author BoatingBabe Posted January 11, 2005 Author Posted January 11, 2005 Originally posted by midori It sounds to me like this guy is just plain nuts. The less you have to do with him, the better. If your receptionist answers your incoming calls, tell her to just take messages from him going forward. If it's business-related, you can follow up, if it's not, you can toss the message. And if you have caller ID on your office phone and can tell who's calling you in-house, let your voicemail pick up calls from him. Again, if it's legitimate business, he'll leave a message. If he doesn't leave a message, he was probably calling with more nonsense. Seriously, this guy sounds unbalanced. Go to church with him? Yikes. And to persist even after you politely decline? Double yikes. Well, I don't know if he's nuts, he's ex military, so maybe a little. He's a born again christian, (no offense) but they usually have sordid pasts and then turn to God for answers or to stop their naughty ways...He insists that his marriage is "over"...yet he still wears his wedding band....Frankly, it's all confusing to me.
Mr Spock Posted January 11, 2005 Posted January 11, 2005 He's talking like he's left his wife-is that really true, to your knowledge?
midori Posted January 11, 2005 Posted January 11, 2005 Originally posted by BoatingBabe legitimize me??? what does that mean? He is a married man, no church I know will legitimize an extramarrital "affair" emotional or whatever...He told my sec. that first he needs to tell the people there about me before he introduces me? LOL wtf? Um.. tell them what about you? That you're his co-worker? That he likes to flirt with you, and you enjoyed flirting with him until you discovered that he was taking it seriously, and now you're trying to give him the brush-off? I'm sorry but doesn't this kind of delusion disgust you? I can see why you want to share it with us, and with your friends, etc. -- it is incredible, and therefore entertaining -- but please tell me you're not still considering whether or not he'd be a good bet! I really think he's nuts, not just nuts about you, but nuts in the more general, clinical sense. (I'm sure that "generally nuts" is a diagnosis in the DSM-IV)
Author BoatingBabe Posted January 11, 2005 Author Posted January 11, 2005 You may be right Midori, it's extremely entertaining actually...it makes a boring night go by faster because my sec. and I laugh about it afterwards. I really don't know him outside a few discussions about politics and religion at work. Therefore; I can't really say he's nuts or not...But work is sure getting fun. I am sort of starting to see a single guy who surprised me at work last night. Now imagine if the MM saw him...I think he'd get in a jealous rage over it...maybe not..but something tells me he thinks he has claims on me already.
Leaf Posted January 12, 2005 Posted January 12, 2005 Originally posted by Mr Spock I'd say it's pretty weird too. Like freak weird. Do you altar boy style weird. Cult style weird. LMAO!!! BB, I have NO Idea why he would ask you to go to church with him... thats a first.
StillHurtin Posted January 12, 2005 Posted January 12, 2005 I agree, this is really weird! And you don't have to be a Christian to attend church. I know of ppl that go so they can look good to the community.
immoralist Posted January 12, 2005 Posted January 12, 2005 If a man, married or not, wants to bed a woman, he'll use any leverage he can--whether material (in the form of gifts), spiritual (in the form of religion) or friendship--to succeed. He'll employ any hook, no matter how crazy, to convince her to fu#k him. I'm sure your MM is not the first guy to employ "church" as a lure. By cloaking himself in religion, your MM is trying to package himself as "religious" or "moral" in order to make his adultery more palatable to you. It's only moral camouflage. I remember reading an account , a few years ago, of one MM using the then recent death of his child as a "sympathy hook" in order to convince a potential OW to sleep with him. It's a cold world out there.
Author BoatingBabe Posted January 12, 2005 Author Posted January 12, 2005 Immoralist, you may have hit the nail right on the head...Him being a volunteer at the church did impress me. Yesterday I joked with him that his "church" was probably a strip club....so that kinda deflated him a bit and he was shocked I'd even suggest it...but then he laughed along. So now when he mentions he's going to church, I think of a strip club and bring him back down to the level he is... Yesterday I had a couple of martini's to try to think this through and I ultimately decided (in my drunken stupor) that now I will have to be less subtle about telling him to bug off. (before I start liking him and fall prey to his bullcrap)
Author BoatingBabe Posted January 12, 2005 Author Posted January 12, 2005 Originally posted by Mr Spock He's talking like he's left his wife-is that really true, to your knowledge? I don't know if it's true, but I don't think it is...I just think he throws it out there to confuse me, so when others mention his wife, I can think he's either a) unhappy with her or b)really left her, so that I may open my life up to him. Cowardice if you ask me, he never once approached me to have a serious talk about whether I am involved or what his marriage status really is...He just comes around like a puppy dog in heat, afraid to approach me for real discussion. Probably because he thinks, I will tell him exactly how I feel about this and it won't be what he wants to hear...so he plays these games and thinks I'll eventually fall for him.
Mr Spock Posted January 13, 2005 Posted January 13, 2005 You like him because he likes you. Please, please, please, please, please, please, please PLEASE PLEASE PUHLEEZE believe me if you stop him now you will always be able to maintain the warm spot his flattery and pursuit has given you. If you allow this to go any further, you're going to get sucked down the same miserable spiral as the rest. Forget that I think he's kooky (hey CHURCH that sounds like sexy first date fun, here, nail me to that cross over there and let's repent) and your description of him makes him sound creepy. He'll lie his ass off to get what he wants, you need confirmation that his wife is out of the picture. Maybe he goes to one of those churches that ENCOURAGES men to have more than one wife. Are you in Utah? Run, run away. STOP flirting. It's hard. Saying NO can be hard. Get your receptionist to do it for you if you must.
Author BoatingBabe Posted January 31, 2005 Author Posted January 31, 2005 Mr. Spock, nice post.... It's been several weeks since I last posted and I have made no gain in stopping him. If anything, he's only become more persistent....Now he's starting to show signs of a temper and jealousy and even stopping by my office on his off hours. However; I have been less excited by it. The fun is now annoyance..he stops by unannounced checking my computer to see what site I'm on...as if he's checking up on me. I told him I was not looking for a boyfriend. My staff members are even calling him stalker now...lol...yet that did not deter his daily, "goodnight, i'm leaving" visits. I have not given him any hope...yet I think it's only making me more desirable to him....I keep hoping he will spot someone else to bother that would be more receptive to him.....
Owl Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 You got this advice before...hopefully this time you'll follow it. Tell him to go away. Tell him you're not interested. Tell him you'd rather date a monkey. You can't just "hope he'll get the hint". If you dont' like it...end it. Tell him he's a pain in the butt, and you don't want anything to do with him beyond what work requires. That simple. It's what you should have done in the first place. Now....this time do it, and quit letting things slide just because it's a boost to your ego.
Mr Spock Posted February 5, 2005 Posted February 5, 2005 Originally posted by BoatingBabe Mr. Spock, nice post.... It's been several weeks since I last posted and I have made no gain in stopping him. If anything, he's only become more persistent....Now he's starting to show signs of a temper and jealousy and even stopping by my office on his off hours. However; I have been less excited by it. The fun is now annoyance..he stops by unannounced checking my computer to see what site I'm on...as if he's checking up on me. I told him I was not looking for a boyfriend. My staff members are even calling him stalker now...lol...yet that did not deter his daily, "goodnight, i'm leaving" visits. I have not given him any hope...yet I think it's only making me more desirable to him....I keep hoping he will spot someone else to bother that would be more receptive to him..... Or he'll break into your house and rape you, then maybe strangle you. Maybe you should try letting him know you're serious about not wanting anything to do with him? It's hard to reject, we as humans would rather just be standoffish and hope they get the hint (s) which is what makes men mostly evil. Let him know that his interruptions to your office during working hours are not acceptable.
Author BoatingBabe Posted February 8, 2005 Author Posted February 8, 2005 All I know at this point is that I will not start anything with him....Reading the posts on here from OW gives me the strength I need to use restraint. It's not even about what he wants anymore...It's what I know I don't want.
Author BoatingBabe Posted February 26, 2005 Author Posted February 26, 2005 My subtely hasn't worked. Now he insults me when he gets jealous...I think he's having a relationship with me IN HIS HEAD. I have tried everything, being a bitch, ignoring him...he doesn't stay away.
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