Mondmellonw Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 There is a guy, (nice, cute and funny) asking me for a date, he is 3 years younger than me. I am pretty used to date and have relationships with older man. (Not older like 10 years older lol, older like 4, 5 or even 6 years older than me). I never dated guys my age, or younger guys... I just get this feeling of being a grandma. Thoughts?
Author Mondmellonw Posted January 15, 2014 Author Posted January 15, 2014 Well, I'm just 20. That is why this is so weird. I don't want a relationship by now. Just want to meet people, have friends. Don't know.
MrCastle Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 Well, I'm just 20. That is why this is so weird. I don't want a relationship by now. Just want to meet people, have friends. Don't know. So the boy is 17?
Author Mondmellonw Posted January 15, 2014 Author Posted January 15, 2014 So the boy is 17? Yes, he is just 17. He asked me out today, but I don't know if I really could see that as a date. I just told him I was busy and that we could hang out other day. He agreed and said it was serious. Hm. Maybe he just wants to be friends, I would totally agree with that.
Conners Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 Don't worry about it. I was 21 when I started dating my 18 year old boyfriend. There was a two and a half year difference between us. I didn't think it was weird. It's hardly a difference. I don't know where you are but if he's 17 he may not be "legal" Where I live the legal age is 16 but I know in the US is 18 in a lot of places.. so be careful with that. 1
Author Mondmellonw Posted January 15, 2014 Author Posted January 15, 2014 Don't worry about it. I was 21 when I started dating my 18 year old boyfriend. There was a two and a half year difference between us. I didn't think it was weird. It's hardly a difference. I don't know where you are but if he's 17 he may not be "legal" Where I live the legal age is 16 but I know in the US is 18 in a lot of places.. so be careful with that. Yes, that is a good point. I don't want to be seen as an abuser or something...
Shashasha Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 it really depends on you? Personally, I think the level of maturity is really important to me and I don't date guys younger than me. Maybe you can try being friends with him first? 1
Author Mondmellonw Posted January 15, 2014 Author Posted January 15, 2014 it really depends on you? Personally, I think the level of maturity is really important to me and I don't date guys younger than me. Maybe you can try being friends with him first? Yes, Shashasha. This is what I want to do. I don't want to mess up with his expectations, and I don't have any expectations right now. I just find him cute. The thing is: I always dated and had relationships with older guys. And, so far, they have always been jerks. (One of my exes is not a jerk at all. The others are). So I am not sure if a number can be the only way to see the maturity on someone.
Shashasha Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 Yes, Shashasha. This is what I want to do. I don't want to mess up with his expectations, and I don't have any expectations right now. I just find him cute. The thing is: I always dated and had relationships with older guys. And, so far, they have always been jerks. (One of my exes is not a jerk at all. The others are). So I am not sure if a number can be the only way to see the maturity on someone. Definitely true. I think you take it from there and figure out what kind of guy he is - hopefully he's not a jerk as well xx 1
Author Mondmellonw Posted January 15, 2014 Author Posted January 15, 2014 Definitely true. I think you take it from there and figure out what kind of guy he is - hopefully he's not a jerk as well xx Thanks we'll see what happens. 1
kaylan Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 Date who you like. Have fun OP. Dont let what others think sway you. Its only 3 years and hes close to 18. Though be warned that at your age, a 3 year gap may show a big difference in maturity. I felt the same way about girls up until girls reached their mid 20s. Im 27 now and prefer women to be in their mid 20s, but will date early 20s if the girl is mature. 1
Author Mondmellonw Posted January 15, 2014 Author Posted January 15, 2014 Date who you like. Have fun OP. Dont let what others think sway you. Its only 3 years and hes close to 18. Though be warned that at your age, a 3 year gap may show a big difference in maturity. I felt the same way about girls up until girls reached their mid 20s. Im 27 now and prefer women to be in their mid 20s, but will date early 20s if the girl is mature. Thanks for your perspective I guess I'll give it a try.
GoreSP Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 I love younger men! At 22, my boyfriend was 18... Now I'm 33 and the guy I like is 27...teehee!
Author Mondmellonw Posted January 15, 2014 Author Posted January 15, 2014 I love younger men! At 22, my boyfriend was 18... Now I'm 33 and the guy I like is 27...teehee! Haven't you had any particular problems with that?
Khyla Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 only 3 years difference, that's nothing. as long as it's legal as mentioned above. When I was 22 i was doing a 16 year old man. God he was gorgeous and hot! .... one of the best I ever had besides hubby. I was in college and he was in high school. 1
Author Mondmellonw Posted January 15, 2014 Author Posted January 15, 2014 only 3 years difference, that's nothing. as long as it's legal as mentioned above. When I was 22 i was doing a 16 year old man. God he was gorgeous and hot! .... one of the best I ever had besides hubby. I was in college and he was in high school. Haha, lol. Yeah. I'll wait til' he turns 18. Nah, jk. I'll date him and we'll see what happens maybe we'll be just friends. For now, I just want to meet people. I am two months out from a terrible experience, I need to focus on myself now. (Of course, I don't want to be selfish or to hurt someone)
Untouchable_Fire Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 There is a guy, (nice, cute and funny) asking me for a date, he is 3 years younger than me. I am pretty used to date and have relationships with older man. (Not older like 10 years older lol, older like 4, 5 or even 6 years older than me). I never dated guys my age, or younger guys... I just get this feeling of being a grandma. Thoughts? I had a 28 year old woman with 2 kids rope my wild and immature 21yo cousin into a relationship. That was crap. The relationship exploded in her their faces. She wanted a guy who would be mature and settled or failing that easily controlled. My cousin puts off a mature vibe upfront because he has a steady job but is a wild guy who doesn't respond well to controlling. I really think your situation is no big deal, but understand when things get hot and heavy that this guy is immature and will get mature at a much slower pace than you. That may give you the feeling that you are his mommy at some point.
d0nnivain Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 Dating younger men is fine. My husband is younger than me & my mom was older than my dad. When one of the people in the equation is younger than 18 it's a problem because now you are taking about dating children. For heaven's sake this 17 year old can't even vote. What are you going to do, drive him to his high school prom because in states with conditional licenses, he won't be able to drive you after 11 pm. 2
GoreSP Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 Haven't you had any particular problems with that? No. The two younger men I dated ended for reasons other than the age difference. I still prefer dating men in their late twenties than their early to mid 30s. 1
MissBee Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 When you're older it doesn't really matter, but if I'm 20 I'm not gonna date a 17 year old guy. At 20 I was a junior in college, what use would I have for a high school boy? That would have felt like WORLDS apart to me. It's not my thing personally. I think if you're over 18 esp you need to stick to people who are at least legal adults. Even now, a man 3 years younger than me is still a bit too young lol. I haven't gotten quite to the age where it completely evens out. I could date younger guys in the future but I'm still at an age where the gap, stage of life, maturity between me and a guy 3 years younger is still noticeable. 1
Babolat Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 My female best friend just turned 46. She is dating men in their early to mid 30s. One of the last men she dated was 14 years younger than her. She is not having any luck meeting anyone, so, I have sugested to her she try dating men closer to her own age. She simply does not want to. She thinks the younger men can keep up with ther and do the things she likes to do. I say, to each their own, what works for you.
Author Mondmellonw Posted January 16, 2014 Author Posted January 16, 2014 When you're older it doesn't really matter, but if I'm 20 I'm not gonna date a 17 year old guy. At 20 I was a junior in college, what use would I have for a high school boy? That would have felt like WORLDS apart to me. It's not my thing personally. I think if you're over 18 esp you need to stick to people who are at least legal adults. Even now, a man 3 years younger than me is still a bit too young lol. I haven't gotten quite to the age where it completely evens out. I could date younger guys in the future but I'm still at an age where the gap, stage of life, maturity between me and a guy 3 years younger is still noticeable. I agree... I always look for older guys too. It was more a doubt,, than anything. I won't be on a relationship for a loooooong while. Just want to get to know more people right now. Guys my age are interested on older girls lol, I dunno, I'm not lucky these days.
Author Mondmellonw Posted January 16, 2014 Author Posted January 16, 2014 My female best friend just turned 46. She is dating men in their early to mid 30s. One of the last men she dated was 14 years younger than her. She is not having any luck meeting anyone, so, I have sugested to her she try dating men closer to her own age. She simply does not want to. She thinks the younger men can keep up with ther and do the things she likes to do. I say, to each their own, what works for you. I wouldn't do that. But my experience with older guys, well, it has been terrible. I guess that it's all because I wans't "picking" well enough.
BJP56 Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 I thoght being 31 and liking a girl of 22 was ok. Apparently not. She had other plans. 3 Years is nothing, 9 years is a bit shaky. 1
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