timborland Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 last night we were at her house and she told me to hand her a pen that wa snext to me. i did and she said "you are my bitch", I said to her "excuse me?" and she replied "you heard me you are my bitch" I said "no, I am not" and she said it again should i take this as a joke or a warning sign 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Frivolous Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 My initial reaction is lol.... But seriously its only an issue if she starts to do it all the time and/or buys a strap on haha. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
sagetalk Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 I don't know your age, or how long you have been dating, but if I were you, I'd dump her like two month old garbage and never look back. I don't know what kind of an extreme, nut case, feminist talks like that to her boyfriend, but even if she is joking, it isn't funny. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Barbarossa Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 That's what you get for handing her the pen, your clearly whipped causing her to think of you as her bitch . On a more serious note that's pretty disrespectful and respect is important for a healthy relationship IMO. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
InnocentMan Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 It's clearly a joke, although you are acting like a lil bitch. It's just like you calling her a wench or something similar. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Trnamakesnse Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 (edited) It's a joke if both people laugh, it's an insult if one person laughs and the other person feels insulted. Can't call him names because he doesn't want to be called something he deems offensive. How would a woman feel if I said she was my b? Hey b! Make me a sandwich! Oh you're mad? WTF IT'S A JOKE GET OVER IT! That's the most ridiculous thing I've heard on here yet. If person is offended whether the person intended it as a joke or not becomes meaningless. He was offended and said "No, I am not", that's the magical hint she should have taken to apologize. It isn't about your intentions if you've offended someone it's still your fault not theirs. Honestly this is just basic social skills. Edited January 15, 2014 by Trnamakesnse 5 Link to post Share on other sites
ascendotum Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 It's clearly a joke, although you are acting like a lil bitch. It's just like you calling her a wench or something similar. I think its the same. You'd like to think she said with a bit of a smirk on her face. If the OP thinks it wasn't in jest and she has a bit of an attitude, then he can throw it back at her, by not doing things she wants in future...'hey I'm not your bitch, bitch'. Though when you start acting like a bit of a dick in revenge for her acting a bitch, its not a good path for a nurturing relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
lino Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 If the genders were reversed this topic would be 12 pages long after 2 minutes. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 last night we were at her house and she told me to hand her a pen that wa snext to me. i did and she said "you are my bitch", I said to her "excuse me?" and she replied "you heard me you are my bitch" I said "no, I am not" and she said it again should i take this as a joke or a warning sign Just tell her that you'd prefer that she didn't call you 'bitch' in the future. Ask her if there's any names you've used for her that she'd prefer you didn't. Christ, do people talk anymore when something is bothering them in their relationship?? 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Frank2thepoint Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 should i take this as a joke or a warning sign Clearly she was messing with you and joking around. But since she repeated herself several times, not apologizing, nor even having the brain function to know that such a comment is disrespectful (I'm sure it would of gone swell with her if you called her that). So yes, this is a warning sign. I wouldn't make any moves just yet, but you could give her the three strike rule. I would guess this is strike one. If she hits three strikes, just get up, say "we're done here", and walk away from her forever. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Fondue Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 You should try to make yourself into a dominant man. Not in a mean/abusive/physical/etc. way, but in a way that shows that you expect respect. You wouldn't ever have that sort of "joke" from her if that was the case. She'd probably even like you that much more. The most often compliment I receive from my current GF is how "dominant" I am and how it's "so sexy." She treats me like a king because of it. With that said, I treat her incredibly well and with the utmost respect. But I assert myself and be a "man," lead, etc., and I NEVER get anything close to that sort of behavior from her as you described in your post. Link to post Share on other sites
Frank2thepoint Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 Christ, do people talk anymore when something is bothering them in their relationship?? This forum is proof that many people don't. A lot of people are fearful of the consequences that may arise if they do bring issues up. Fear of rocking the boat. In the film Heat (great movie btw), which had Al Pacino, Robert De Niro, and Val Kilmer, there is a great line that Robert De Niro's character says that I really love and adapt to my life. To paraphrase "never get attached to something that you cannot walk away from in 30 seconds flat when you feel the heat coming down on you". This line is very powerful, because it reinforces self-esteem and self-respect. The word "heat" can be anything that a person deems wrong or disrespectful to them. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Badsingularity Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 If she sounded serious and had a serious tone......not good. Link to post Share on other sites
Kingkaneda Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 I usually respond to this kind of behaviour with: "Wow, you just became a whole lot les attractive." And then follow up by doing something for yourself and not giving her the attention she wants. Link to post Share on other sites
ThatMan Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 Good grief! When will you people learn to *NEVER* pass the pen?! Women can sense you're whipped when offering such gestures. But yeah, how you respond to her behavior is the only thing you can control. You need to have a level-head on your shoulders to figure out whether or not she's joking, juvenile, or simply a few cards short of a full deck. We cannot tell you how to interpret things. But we can tell you that it's okay to stand up for yourself whenever people make disrespectful jokes. It's also perfectly fine to roll with it and have fun. You need to decide what's in your best interest. What matters is how you feel about the situation. Link to post Share on other sites
regine_phalange Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 It probably was a disrespectful joke, not funny at all, and you should have made your boundaries clear in some way. Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 The only correct response to that is to dispute that you're the bitch, wrestle her down on the sofa and have sex with her. While she's underneath. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
A Traveller's Touch Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 last night we were at her house and she told me to hand her a pen that wa snext to me. i did and she said "you are my bitch", I said to her "excuse me?" and she replied "you heard me you are my bitch" I said "no, I am not" and she said it again should i take this as a joke or a warning sign My fellow traveller, Somehow I feel your girl has been taking you for a ride very long time. Though it is the most difficult thing to do for most of us, it is best to keep your distance with your girl and show her subliminally that you don't like to be treated this way. Either she might flare up and threaten to breakup with you or she might throw a huge drama that she was kidding. Simply brace yourself Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 last night we were at her house and she told me to hand her a pen that wa snext to me. i did and she said "you are my bitch", I said to her "excuse me?" and she replied "you heard me you are my bitch" I said "no, I am not" and she said it again should i take this as a joke or a warning sign Hm, sounds like someone needs to be punished. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Lixxy Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 This entirely depends on the context and the context of your relationship / friendship. Are you the kind of couple who jokes about these things? Is this a "natural" behavior / joke for both of you? Or to expect from her? Was she joking? Myself and my partner can call each other the worst things imaginable as harmless jokes. We're both deeply in love with each other and to call each other such a thing is, if anything, lighthearted to us. We never actually mean the jokey insults we call each other, it's just our (dark) sense of humor. So context means EVERYTHING in this case! If this isn't normal for you, wasn't a joke, and she actually meant it, I can see it as being a huge issue and one that would need to be seriously discussed between you to find out why she said such a thing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 (edited) It sounds jokey to me, but obviously it depends on the context. If it bothers the OP, he should call her out on it. If she persists despite being asked not to, she's being an actual bitch and needs to be dumped. End of story. Edited January 15, 2014 by Elswyth 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sabre80 Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 To second what gaius said. The proper response would have been to turn her over your knee and spank her till her cheeks are red. Then follow with what gaius said. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Mondmellonw Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 Just tell her that you'd prefer that she didn't call you 'bitch' in the future. Ask her if there's any names you've used for her that she'd prefer you didn't. Christ, do people talk anymore when something is bothering them in their relationship?? I had an issue like this. I asked not to tell me that name (it wasn't the same word that on this thread, it was another, and it wasn't an insult but I never liked it). He understood, and agreed. But he did it all the time anyways. It caused me some kind of resentment, because I asked him not to in a good way. It made me feel upset every time he called me that way. As for the person on the original thread, I suppose you can talk with her. But I honestly don't think that's respectful. Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 What sabre added wasn't a bad idea and just to add, I wasn't really joking. A lot of girls get turned by a little bit of force when they're being jerkey. Give it a try next time instead of talking. Odds are she'll love it. Link to post Share on other sites
cheatingmyself Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 Its a joke! I laughed. Chill out a bit Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts