1994O Posted January 14, 2014 Posted January 14, 2014 so today i met up with my ex, we had fun and it went well, but it was just as friends as she said last week friends is the best we can be for now. anyways it went well and she was quite touchy feely, however no kissing or any of that. i dont really know what to do next, i want her back, should i keep meeting up with her and see where it goes?
pickflicker Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 so today i met up with my ex, we had fun and it went well, but it was just as friends as she said last week friends is the best we can be for now. anyways it went well and she was quite touchy feely, however no kissing or any of that. i dont really know what to do next, i want her back, should i keep meeting up with her and see where it goes? She said she doesn't. So if she doesn't want you, and you want her, what do you think is the next course of action?
flightplan Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 You fell into her trap. The relationship is on her terms. You want more, she doesn't. Gonna hurt... just saying. 7
carl777 Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 I made that mistake of keeping my ex in my life and eventually we got back together. Know what happened? She dumped me for another guy again. It's not worth it, trust me. You're just delaying the inevitable. You should stop seeing, calling and texting her. Move on. 4
Author 1994O Posted January 15, 2014 Author Posted January 15, 2014 she never dumped me for anyone else, she dumped me because she wanted to be alone for now, and hopefully get back together in the future. im 19, she 17 and after tonight i beleive if i show her the real me and the man she fell in love with. she will want to get back with me. we had a fantastic relationship.
pickflicker Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 she never dumped me for anyone else, she dumped me because she wanted to be alone for now, and hopefully get back together in the future. im 19, she 17 and after tonight i beleive if i show her the real me and the man she fell in love with. she will want to get back with me. we had a fantastic relationship. Oh hun, sorry. You don't have to show her anything. She did the dumping, it is up tp her to make the decision of wanting to be with you. If you continue being her 'friend', she will continue to use your for touchy-feely company, but that's it. Also, why are you waiting for someone who thinks the best way to deal with a relationship that is on the rocks, is to break up and 'maybe' get back together later? If that's the case, then disappearing off her radar until she says "Ok, I want to try again" won't hurt. But this way, you're just her puppet. You're her shoulder to cry on. You are most definitely not her boyfriend. You're the guy she uses to prop up her self esteem, while she lusts after the dude with scungy jeans, big arms, rides a motorbike and deals cocaine on the side. 3
BDL Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 The only chance I see of her wanting you back is when you start dating other girls, and actually NOT wanting her back. By then, you may actually find someone more deserving of your affections. In the meantime, work on yourself, build confidence (be a man) and all that, and have fun without her. 2
Author 1994O Posted January 15, 2014 Author Posted January 15, 2014 i dont know. after tonite i got the feeling she does want me back but shes seeing have i really changed. no offence but i know this girl better than all of you and shes not stringing me along.
pickflicker Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 i dont know. after tonite i got the feeling she does want me back but shes seeing have i really changed. no offence but i know this girl better than all of you and shes not stringing me along. I love how people say "no offence" right before deciding that they're going to say something that can and probably will be construed as offensive. It's like someone preceding a racist diatribe with "I'm not a racist, but..." FYI, I'm not offended. Because you're a blind man with absolutely no idea of the horror cliff you're about to plunge over. You're 19. You know nothing of relationships. You have access to a wealth of wisdom, and your story is like a bad script that I could write word for word, standing on my head whilst juggling balls with my feet. If you're so sure, continue hanging around her. You know, after she told you that you'd be friend only, and all. 4
Author 1994O Posted January 15, 2014 Author Posted January 15, 2014 I made that mistake of keeping my ex in my life and eventually we got back together. Know what happened? She dumped me for another guy again. It's not worth it, trust me. You're just delaying the inevitable. You should stop seeing, calling and texting her. Move on. how did you get her back?
Author 1994O Posted January 15, 2014 Author Posted January 15, 2014 yes im young and might'nt have a clue about relationships but all i know is ive found the one and im not going to let her go, she is perfect for me and i could never see myself with another woman.
pickflicker Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 yes im young and might'nt have a clue about relationships but all i know is ive found the one and im not going to let her go, she is perfect for me and i could never see myself with another woman. Well, hanging out with her and being her cuddle buddy isn't going to improve your chances. Have you ever played with a toddler? They'll be playing with one toy, while another lies abandoned. You pick up the abandoned toy, start playing with it, and the toddler will want to participate. Have you ever held onto the toy just a fraction too long, and seen them become frustrated when you don't give it to them? This is exactly the same thing. Whilstever you'll show her that you'll be her cuddle-buddy b*tch, she'll never, ever sleep with you. Start dating other people and being more aloof, and she'll be all over you. It's not a recipe for getting your ex back, but your approach right now, will never, ever work.
flightplan Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 yes im young and might'nt have a clue about relationships but all i know is ive found the one and im not going to let her go, she is perfect for me and i could never see myself with another woman. I tell you what, go full steam ahead and pursue her to the ends of the earth. We won't say we told you so when your back here on these forums asking what the hell happened. A love struck puppy is not the most attractive thing for a girl. Good luck my friend.
JDPT Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 It's nothing more than temporary relief. You are prolonging the inevitable my friend. 1
Author 1994O Posted January 15, 2014 Author Posted January 15, 2014 i have followed guides on getting your ex back on the internet and thats what im going by, i have no expecatations as of now but i think the approach im taking may work. we are just spending some time together and im seeing where it goes.
pickflicker Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 i have followed guides on getting your ex back on the internet and thats what im going by, i have no expecatations as of now but i think the approach im taking may work. we are just spending some time together and im seeing where it goes. You're attempting to manipulate her instead of listening to what she says, which is that you are FRIENDS. Nothing more. 1
strive Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 Stop being her DOORMAT. It's what everyone is basically saying. But personally I'd rather you learn the lesson yourself. Some people need to learn the hard way to believe it. 4
OhThatGirl Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 yes im young and might'nt have a clue about relationships but all i know is ive found the one and im not going to let her go, she is perfect for me and i could never see myself with another woman. She's not "the one".. Know how I know that? She broke up with you. You're 19. You've got many many years of relationships to go. Years from now you will look back fondly about this relationship and shake your head at what you didn't know. Believe other people when they say that you are helping her break up with you. She said she didn't want to be with you and that she might later. This reads: I'm going to invest my time and emotions elsewhere and if I strike out enough/get bored/get lonely I've kept you waiting and need to do very little work to go back to the relationship I didn't really want... Until I'm no longer bored/lonely/striking out, at which time I will quickly move on to someone else. Even if you DO want her back, this is not the way to do it. All you're doing is being a back up plan in case she fails with someone else. You're boosting her confidence. You're making it easy for her. Don't do it. Very simply say "I'm not interested in pursuing a friendship with you." And go NC. Don't tell her it's because you're heartbroken or because people on a dating forum told you or that because you still want more. Just tell her you're not interested in her friendship. Gain some control. Right now SHE has all of it. If she does want to be with you, she will chase you endlessly. If she doesn't, NC will keep her curious and she will think of you.. Plus you'll be able to move on as she does. Win win. Trust me. 8
CelticGibson Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 See that crash up ahead? Yes that's you. You are setting yourself up for a bad fall by sticking around past your sell by date. She has ended it and you should just move on before you end up in the FriendZone and once you end up there you will never leave it, ever. If your intention is to get her back then you have to let her go, move on, prove that you do not in fact need her or want her, showing her respect for her choice and then improve yourself and your situation sans your relationship. In time she may look upon you as a catch again, then again maybe not but the good thing here is that by the time she does realise that she wants you, you may not want her and will have met someone new. Go No Contact ASAP.... Save yourself from yourself and listen to everyone on this thread who has been where you are now and learned harsh lessons... 2
mtnbiker3000 Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 You've just been friendzoned. She gets everything she wants from you and you get nothing you want in return. 1
JDPT Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 Have some dignity and stop being her doormat. You may think you have the upper hand her but in reality she is the one operating the strings, it's her world you just live in it. Understand that this will not end and please stop reading those "get your ex back" techniques online. They are a waste and should never under any circumstances be takin seriously if anything they are comical. 2
StyleOnEm Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 You're 19... you need to experience these lessons firsthand. Right now you know the stove is hot but you're not sure how hot, you think it's not that bad when everyone is saying it's an inferno and will burn you. So, go ahead.. feel it. Feel the pain, because only then will you realize that next time you might not want to get too close to the fire again.
organizedchaos Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 Yep, another week, another youngster who refuses to listen to those with vastly more experience in relationships than him. He's right, we're wrong and theirs is the thing love songs are written about. We don't get it. So why start this thread in the first place? 2
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