single-boy-2k14 Posted January 14, 2014 Posted January 14, 2014 Hi all. Im new here & looking for abit of support Im a 25 year old male & was with my partner for 8 years. ill be fair in the 8 years we both rowed and had bad times bit im not looling for answers why we ended to be honest.. but its been 5 days since my partner asked me to move out of her house and we split for good. First 3 days i was ok but im struggling. I cant get her out of my head. Every song. Every thing i see. I jus get good & bad memories... I done what a lot of ppl do in a long term relationship. I have lost contact with all my friends an feel lonely.. in work i cant function and although been asked out by a girl already i just feel numb & not intrested.. what can i do. Feel sad i keep cryin an tonight even thought about killing myself.. how can i sort myself shall i delete her number & ingnore her?
pickflicker Posted January 14, 2014 Posted January 14, 2014 You need to focus on building a support network of new friends and making sure that you don't sacrifice them in the next relationship. We need people - multiple people - all the time, a lover cannot be expected to be the source of all our emotional support. Focus on making some new friends, and yes, if she's ended the relationship, you need to delete or block her number and go NC. 1
flightplan Posted January 14, 2014 Posted January 14, 2014 Hi all. Im new here & looking for abit of support Im a 25 year old male & was with my partner for 8 years. ill be fair in the 8 years we both rowed and had bad times bit im not looling for answers why we ended to be honest.. but its been 5 days since my partner asked me to move out of her house and we split for good. First 3 days i was ok but im struggling. I cant get her out of my head. Every song. Every thing i see. I jus get good & bad memories... I done what a lot of ppl do in a long term relationship. I have lost contact with all my friends an feel lonely.. in work i cant function and although been asked out by a girl already i just feel numb & not intrested.. what can i do. Feel sad i keep cryin an tonight even thought about killing myself.. how can i sort myself shall i delete her number & ingnore her? Sorry man, I know it sucks. You're going through the shock phase. I don't know if you've pleaded and begged or not, but if I had it to do again, I wouldn't do it. But you're going to do what you feel you need to do to survive. I was a zombie the first week or so, but I immediately deleted numbers, pictures, threw out memories, photographs, etc. I got rid of anything and everything that reminded me of her. Then I cried like a rainstorm. No woman is worth killing yourself. You will just have to feel the pain, embrace it and let it flow. It WILL get better, it always does. Just remember this is temporary, we've all been there and know what you're feeling. Hang tough, you can do this. 2
mantlefan Posted January 14, 2014 Posted January 14, 2014 After my gf of 5 years dumped me, I thought my life was over too. I still miss her, but I am glad I am still here. I think the first 3 days you were probably in shock. I would exercise as much as you can. Even if it is just going for a walk. It's amazing how much getting moving can cheer a person up. Plus, you know that when you exercise, you are working on a better you. It's OK to say no to dating for a while. Good thinking about deleting your ex's number and ignoring her. That is what is going to get you where you need to be. I know it might sound crazy: The one person you really counted on, really could talk to, for almost your entire adult life: now you can't talk to them. But it's for the best. Keep posting here, ESPECIALLY when you really want to talk to her. We are here for you, buddy. 1
Author single-boy-2k14 Posted January 14, 2014 Author Posted January 14, 2014 Yeah i have just wiped my mobile of all memories and deleted her number but my phone will not let me block it. Yeah i am tryin to keep my mind a little bit busy im worki g overtine & i meet new people in my job (taxi driver) Been eating healthy and exercising as put alot of weight on in 8 years.. is it normal to think all bad about mysrlf. Im fat and so on wha do you think i should do. Was going togo the doctors to get anti depression tableta to try perk me up or shall i battle this out naturally
John83 Posted January 14, 2014 Posted January 14, 2014 No woman is worth taking your life over mate, dont even consider it. I promise you it gets better it just takes time. I thought id never recover after loosing my first love 11 years ago and yes in those first few day had the same suicidal thoughts but went on to have the best few years of my life going out with mates and living a great singlr life. Find something to pour your attention into, you wont want to at first but keep at it something that keeps you very busy, restore a car, buy arun down property torenovate and sell for profit ect ect. Something along those lines. It will help you through those darkest days.
pickflicker Posted January 14, 2014 Posted January 14, 2014 Yeah i have just wiped my mobile of all memories and deleted her number but my phone will not let me block it. Yeah i am tryin to keep my mind a little bit busy im worki g overtine & i meet new people in my job (taxi driver) Been eating healthy and exercising as put alot of weight on in 8 years.. is it normal to think all bad about mysrlf. Im fat and so on wha do you think i should do. Was going togo the doctors to get anti depression tableta to try perk me up or shall i battle this out naturally Don't worry about the weight thing, we're all guilty of putting on the 'contented weight' when we're in a relationship. You should go and speak to a doctor or therapist before going on any medication. It should be a last resort. You should try talking to them, exercise, healthy eating, and meeting some new people, and after that, if the clouds haven't lifted after a few months, enquire about medication. 1
Author single-boy-2k14 Posted January 14, 2014 Author Posted January 14, 2014 I feel i cant cope im in tears again :-(
pickflicker Posted January 14, 2014 Posted January 14, 2014 I feel i cant cope im in tears again :-( You need to head out for a long walk whenever you feel overwhelmed. The exercise will do you good.
Matt4994 Posted January 14, 2014 Posted January 14, 2014 You need to head out for a long walk whenever you feel overwhelmed. The exercise will do you good. I started running after the bu. 8 years as well and I'm now 25. It has helped emensly. I won't lie I'm 2 months in and cried in the shower yesterday morning and then at work that afternoon. It isn't easy but we'll get through it. Hang in there. Last note I had a cousin hang herself over her boyfriend. All it did is put the same hurt you are experiencing now on our entire family and her friends.
dozer561 Posted January 14, 2014 Posted January 14, 2014 right there with you guys, at least your still young, im 35., im a couple months out from a 7 year relationship, and im still a mess everyday.. not much help as im figuring out what to do myself, but know your not alone, and i feel your pain...
notthathard Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 35 is not old dude, older than me but not old. You probably have a better chance at finding a proper mature enough partner at that age.
rosedl Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 I'm so sorry. First, it is not uncommon to have suicidal thoughts when you suffer a serious loss. You should pay attention to it. Are you thinking thoughts that you want to die? Or, are you developing a plan? If you feel so overwhelmed, please call a suicide hotline or a local counseling center or anything. Second, this is a psychic car crash. Don't worry about the future or anything else but taking care of yourself and getting through each day. It is enough. You CAN and WILL recover, but it will take time. There will be some rough days, it is part of the deal. I can tell you from experience. It does improve. I have had my heart broken three different times and each has been a challenge. I am working on recovering from the third, but I am not there yet. Hence, why I am here. Break ups can feel like the end of the world. They are not. I promise, it will slowly get better. They hurt like someone died and in a way, something did, a love, a relationship. It is a big loss. It changes. It takes time. Worlds can fall apart. I am 42 and I have yet to find a lasting partnership but I have had long term ones just like you. The one before this one, it was twelve years. It was very hard. He helped me raise my daughter. It was very much like a divorce. Do NOT buy into your thoughts right now. You are in emotion mind. It is not a place of logic or truth, it is colored by despondency and grief and does NOT reflect how the rest of your life will feel. This. Is. Temporary. Everyone on this board has a broken heart and nearly everyone I know has had one at one time or the other. Everyone I know has eventually moved on and found love again. Give it time. Most of all, give yourself a chance.
d0nnivain Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 Do not kill yourself. This will get better but only if you are here. Reach out for help. Surround yourself with people who love you. Take one day at a time
Author single-boy-2k14 Posted January 15, 2014 Author Posted January 15, 2014 Thanks all for the help. what keeps running thro my head is who will she go next & dreading the fact that they will talk about me behind my back... Also someome mentioned about going on facebook as i am not signed upto it. I know alot of my old friends are onthere. But i jus dont want to see her page on there. An talkin to guys. If you know wha i mean
David87 Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 Sometimes you just have to accept that some people can only be in your heart, not in your life. Ignore her, don't contact her and focuse on other things. Don't even think about suicide, that's the easy way out. You will become much stronger afther this. Hang in there.
Saxonhook Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 Mate I feel ur pain at the moment, I'm in the same situation 9 yr relationship ended 6 woks ago and we have 2 children so the while nc idea is a no go. It will get easier first month for me I blocked it out of my head and felt better as hurt was gone but now it's all come flooding back. Keep yourself busy I have been signed off if work but it has given me more time to do the things I enjoy which is slowly sorting my head out, like u I am struggling to accept that she is going to find someone else and unfortunately in my case she already has, but once u know this u have reached rock bottom and it only upwards from here. Don't do anything silly I've had those thoughts, just remember how much u mean to ur family and friends and how much of a loss to them u will be. Best piece of advice I have been given as that they obviously don't deserve what u had to give and there is someone else out there that does and is waiting for u to share yourself with them. All the best
sw2020 Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 What a horrid situation to be in for you. Is good you've found this forum. Ace place to vent and lots of people in similar situations. If you can keep a good, clean diet and exercise it will help immensely. It also gives some focus. No more processed food, no alcohol and preparing my own food for EVERY meal kept me busy, healthy and also meant I slept well. Not an easy road by any means.
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