Iamyoungjuan Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 (edited) My wife just left me 5 days ago we been married for 5 years and together four 9 we have four kids together two girl and two boys She says she left me because I wont change and I always say things to her to make it seem like I dont cant care.Well I disagree I do alot for my wife and kids I pay half on every bill I take her out I tell her I love her everyday I watch the kids while she at work I pick them up from school I clean up the house every morning befre she wakes up yes dishes and all Right before she left I thought we was having the best time of our relationship she just bought me a 500 dollar laptop two days before she left and she told me she love me with all her heart and she dont know what she will do without me Its been five days and I cant eat or sleep I been texting her asking if its anything I can do to get her back but she not having it she doesnt call or text me what should I do she seem like she doesnt care about me at all I asked her did she wont a divorce but she said she dont know she havnt thought about it and I told her if she want one I will give it to her but she said she not asking for one I amit sometimes I say things I dont mean to her when m mad but she does the same I asked her was it someone else in her life but she said no She said I can call or text her but she dont wanna talk about us or our marraige Edited January 14, 2014 by Iamyoungjuan Link to post Share on other sites
Author Iamyoungjuan Posted January 14, 2014 Author Share Posted January 14, 2014 Help I need advice Link to post Share on other sites
Yasuandio Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 You need to find out what your wife needs to be happy at home again. When you ask her why she has left - you must listen, and not challenge or disagree with her FEELINGS. People feel the way they feel - there can be no disagreement with that, period. If she FEELS bad enough to leave you and her children, something is seriously wrong. Open your ears, say nothing. Do not judge. Do not argue. Just listen to her. Ask yourself this very important question: DO I WANT TO BE RIGHT, OR DO I WANT MY MARIAGE TO SURVIVE? That is my advice, Sir. Yas 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Iamyoungjuan Posted January 15, 2014 Author Share Posted January 15, 2014 When I talked to her I listen to what see was saying and I told her I understand where she was coming from and that im sorry for the things that I did and said wrong and I wouldnt do anything to run her outta my life Link to post Share on other sites
Yasuandio Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 She says she left me because I wont change and I always say things to her to make it seem like I dont cant care.Well I disagree I do alot for my wife and kids I pay half on every bill I take her out I tell her I love her everyday I watch the kids while she at work I pick them up from school I clean up the house every morning befre she wakes up yes dishes and all You say you DISAGREE with what your wife was sharing with you about her some of her reasons for leaving in you initial post. I find that to be a red flag. Then you talk about how YOU pay half of everything, clean up and do dishes. You know what my response to that is? BIG DEAL. You are the man of the family. So what if you pay bills? When I hear a man pointing out how he pay HALF the bills and washes some dishes when his wife has left the family - I gotta wonder, where are your priorities, man? Another big red flag. I suggest you look deeper within. Something tells me this is not going to be an easy fix. What changes do you think your wife wants you to make? What sort of things have you been saying to her? Why do you think she left? Yas 1 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 There has to be more to this, or she is really fed up and has been waiting for a while to leave you until she felt she was ready. Is it possible there's someone else? Just asking. I don't get why you two wouldn't do marriage counseling to save your marriage. Give it your best and see how it goes. For the sake of the kids you two owe it to them as well as to each other to try to fix things. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
oldshirt Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 According to your other post she left you last April and had been interacting with an old BF on Twitter. Did she come back that time or is this not a legitimate post? Link to post Share on other sites
oldshirt Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 She says she left me because I wont change and I always say things to her to make it seem like I dont cant care.Well I disagree I do alot for my wife and kids I pay half on every bill I take her out I tell her I love her everyday I watch the kids while she at work I pick them up from school I clean up the house every morning befre she wakes up yes dishes and all. You sound like a good wife. Any guy should be glad to have a wife like you. The problem is women want different things from husbands that what men do in wives. We've all been brainwashed by the feminists to think that women want men to cook and clean and raise the babies. Sure women do like the extra help. The problem is their deep subconscious attraction circuits make them attracted to men that make MORE money than themselves so the men are the ones going out slaying the dragons and bringing home the meet so that they are able to raise the babies. This other man she is giving the trial-run to is a more masculine role-model to her attraction circuits and she is trying him on for size while you are doing the vacuuming. This is all assuming this is a legitimate post to begin with which I have my doubts of at the moment. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Iamyoungjuan Posted January 16, 2014 Author Share Posted January 16, 2014 Im sorry I didnt mean to say I was paying half the bills to take credit I was just trying to state that I try my best to do what I can to help my wife out and to keep her happy Me and my wife we dont fight we just argue from time to time and disagree on things alot the reason she gave me was she left because she cant deal with my ways or my attuide Since she left she havnt called or texted me I been reaching out trying to talk to her but she keep brushing me off she asked me to buy the kids some cloths for school yesterday when called her and I did and took them to her Also she loves fruit I bought her a big fruit basket and had it sent to her but she asked me not to by her anything else Link to post Share on other sites
Author Iamyoungjuan Posted January 16, 2014 Author Share Posted January 16, 2014 I just talked to her on the phone I asked her if I take the time to better myself will I have a chance to get her back she said she dont know about in the future but as of right now no she need space for two weeks to figure out what she want she amitted to falling outta love with me a little I told her as hard as it would be to not call or text her that I respect her wishes and I wont call or text again and I told her that im here for her anytime she needs me and that I dont wanna make things worse I miss her so much and my kids I love them to death my son birthday is in 6 days and I wont be able to spend it with him And to the poster that asked me she my wife did leave me last year but it was for four days I never been away from her this long or never have I seen her this way Link to post Share on other sites
youaremysunshine Posted January 16, 2014 Share Posted January 16, 2014 Huh? Oldshirt, if that were true why do so many marriages fall apart due to women becoming bitter, worn out husks of themselves due to years of having two jobs, one outside the home and one at home. Housework and childcare is exhausting and I can't love a man who doesn't care enough about me to contribute or is to infantile to pick up after himself. No woman likes being treated like a housekeeper in her own home, it breeds resentment. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
youaremysunshine Posted January 16, 2014 Share Posted January 16, 2014 Also what's with men who do their own dishes acting like martyrs? It's called being an adult. I personally have a male room mate whom I witnessed washing his dishes this very evening! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Iamyoungjuan Posted January 16, 2014 Author Share Posted January 16, 2014 She moved out a week ago she told me she want space for about two weeks she said the reason she dont wanna talk to me is because all I want to talk about is our relationship and she dont wanna talk about it.I asked her if she wanted a divorce she said she dont know she havnt thought about it What does this mean?? Link to post Share on other sites
soccerrprp Posted January 16, 2014 Share Posted January 16, 2014 She moved out a week ago she told me she want space for about two weeks she said the reason she dont wanna talk to me is because all I want to talk about is our relationship and she dont wanna talk about it.I asked her if she wanted a divorce she said she dont know she havnt thought about it What does this mean?? For now, take it for what she says. Give her the time. I seriously doubt she hasn't been thinking about divorce. Just give her the time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Iamyoungjuan Posted January 16, 2014 Author Share Posted January 16, 2014 For now, take it for what she says. Give her the time. I seriously doubt she hasn't been thinking about divorce. Just give her the time. Thank alot for the info...Right now she want nothing to do with me but do u know y she doesnt want a divorce the first time I asked her about it I told her that if she wanted it I will give it to her wih no problem and she said she wasnt asking for one Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted January 16, 2014 Share Posted January 16, 2014 Who's got the kids? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Iamyoungjuan Posted January 16, 2014 Author Share Posted January 16, 2014 She got the kids with her I havnt talked to them since she left I just got a text from her saying hey r u ok but I didnt respond because im trying to give her the space she want Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 Yeah, don't respond. She's feeling guilty and wants you to ease her guilt. However, you need to contact those kids. Let them know that you love them and you are still going to be in their lives. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 I'm surprised no one has posted it yet: The Last Resort Technique--from Michele's blog - DivorceBusting.com These people helped me immensely during my separation with my husband. Also, read Divorce Remedy. I am so sorry you are hurting with your wife and kids gone. Now you mentioned you say things to your wife that you don't mean. My husband does this when he is angry also. It cuts to the core. Especially if her "love language" is verbal. It will hurt her for a very long time if that is the case. It could also potentially be verbal abuse. What did you say? Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 Women usually do not leave unless there is an OM. Why did WW give you a new PC? Did she take the old one with her? The old one with evidence of an affair? Can you access your WW email, FB, cell bill? Is there one number that was never there before, or a number that is used a lot, number that she texts to the most? Time to be a detective. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Iamyoungjuan Posted January 17, 2014 Author Share Posted January 17, 2014 I have both of my pc,s only thing I said bad to her was she selfish and sometimes I say u can leave if u want idc but I really do care she left her phone around me all day everyday so I didnt notice any new numbers or anything She text me last night again saying hey I text u early to see if u was ok from being in the hospital.Because I went to the hospital two night ago and that was the last night I talked to her but again I never replyed She told me not to call her so thats why I havnt talked to the kids today seem like its gonna be the worst day I cant get her off my mind every mnute go buy that I dont here from her kills me I just wanna call so bad but im not because I dont wanna make things worse when she told me not to call By the way since she been gone she got my name covered up that was tattoo on her 3 days after she left Link to post Share on other sites
Author Iamyoungjuan Posted January 17, 2014 Author Share Posted January 17, 2014 Another thing I wanna point out when she get mad at me and leave she always change her last name on facebook as of right now she still has mine on there she always take the pictures of us down but they still up and she still have her status as married But when I asked her a few days ago she said she didnt wanna work on our marriage or get back together but she dont know about divorce Im confused Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 I don't know. Walk away brides usually doesn't happen when there's kids involved. Something recently happened that made her walk out. I seriously think you need to take inventory to figure that out. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 By the way since she been gone she got my name covered up that was tattoo on her 3 days after she left This is the move of someone who has left and is not coming back, IMO she has someone else that she is either seeing or going to start seeing. 3 days after leaving herr husband and she has the kids but she has a tat covered up... Sorry guy.. I would immediately seek legal help, retain an attorney as you need legal advice because she is going to get an attorney if she hasn't already and divorce you, do not listen to her words but watch her actions.. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Iamyoungjuan Posted January 17, 2014 Author Share Posted January 17, 2014 She got my name covered up before when we broke up for a month but we got back together and she got my name tattoo on her again but this time she seem way more serious she text me atleast once a day when we broke up for that month this time she will not call or text My thing is this if u already got someone else or seeing someone else why not let me no so I can move on she said she not seeing noone but I think she are Link to post Share on other sites
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