montykatzy Posted January 14, 2014 Posted January 14, 2014 So me and my ex have been over for a while now, about 7 months. I texted her after the new year to just chat. The first day was us catching up, and we ended up talking about something she told me in confidence while we were together. She said 'we're past that though, even if we did like one another, we wouldn't work out' Then we were talking about her personal mental issues she's been going though, and I felt like she was opening up to me again. The next day, she started the conversation, and we talked for the whole day. She also texted me saying 'ooh three guys are hitting on me, I'm glad nobody can hear '. I acted like I didn't really care. I started talking about girls, and then she said 'I don't even bloody care about this'. However she asked me if I was trying to get her jealous, and she said 'I don't get jealous anymore, I can't because I don't feel anything for you' Then she texted me at like 1am, talking about her issues again, and then got angry when I tried to help and stopped texting Now, we still talk, but she seems a bit detached. What is she playing at?
toolforgrowth Posted January 14, 2014 Posted January 14, 2014 Sounds like she's trying to see if you still hold a candle for her and if she can make you jealous. Probably for two reasons: 1) ego boost. 2) to see if she still has you on the backburner. Talking with ex's can be treacherous. I'm in contact with an ex GF (I have no desire to get back together with her) and she does things like that. I just brush it off. She's a good person and given the right circumstances we could have been good together. But she's got a lot of issues on her end that make that impossible. So I've accepted that, and while we keep in contact, ive made it perfectly clear that we are both free to do what we want. She knows I hang out with other women. She doesn't like it but has to deal with it. She'll drop these weird hints that seem like she's dating and then a few minutes later explain how that really isn't the case. I'm like...whatever. Do what you want. I'm not jealous. Our relationship is over. You just can't let them get to you. If she's playing games and you don't like it, don't play them back. Remove yourself from the situation. You have no control over her, but neither does she have control over you. They tend to forget that.
Author montykatzy Posted January 21, 2014 Author Posted January 21, 2014 So it doesn't really mean much? It developed a bit... We were talking like buddies until around Friday, when she stopped replying. She texted me on Sunday asking me about sex and stuff, which I found weird! She told me she had a sex dream about me, and I shrugged it off. Then she was telling me about her day and an achievement she made, and I told her I was proud of her, to which she replied 'thanks :*'. We talked about her dream a bit more then I went to bed. She was carrying the conversation, but was talking about herself a lot. I texted her in the morning and we talked for a bit, then she blanked me. I texted her a day later and she said 'I didn't see... I don't really care if we don't talk anyway' and that was it Damn she is confusing
Simon Phoenix Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 So it doesn't really mean much? It developed a bit... We were talking like buddies until around Friday, when she stopped replying. She texted me on Sunday asking me about sex and stuff, which I found weird! She told me she had a sex dream about me, and I shrugged it off. Then she was telling me about her day and an achievement she made, and I told her I was proud of her, to which she replied 'thanks :*'. We talked about her dream a bit more then I went to bed. She was carrying the conversation, but was talking about herself a lot. I texted her in the morning and we talked for a bit, then she blanked me. I texted her a day later and she said 'I didn't see... I don't really care if we don't talk anyway' and that was it Damn she is confusing It didn't develop at all dude. You are her emotional tampon, her buddy. That's it. 1
radiodarcy Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 It sounds like she's trying to reel you in (emotionally) so she can get the upper hand (by saying for she doesn't care anymore) all so she can get an ego boost. I wouldn't say she wants you back - - more like she's treating the whole break up as a competition to see who's moved on more: you or her. If that's the case, it's really very self-indulgent, insecure behavior. And you are feeding it by continuing to respond to her text messages.
mutualove Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 How old is she? What she's doing seems very immature and you need to stop biting the bait every time. 1
Author montykatzy Posted January 22, 2014 Author Posted January 22, 2014 So she doesn't really like me? She is the kind of person who would play mind games, but all her friends used to say she was madly in love with me. Today she came to my workplace to talk to one of her mates. We glanced at one another once but that was it. Could she really not care? And is there nothing I can do to change her mind?
Simon Phoenix Posted January 22, 2014 Posted January 22, 2014 So she doesn't really like me? She is the kind of person who would play mind games, but all her friends used to say she was madly in love with me. Today she came to my workplace to talk to one of her mates. We glanced at one another once but that was it. Could she really not care? And is there nothing I can do to change her mind? No, there's nothing you can do to change her mind. Only she can change her own mind. If you try to manipulate her to bring about a result, you will fail and fail spectacularly.
Author montykatzy Posted January 22, 2014 Author Posted January 22, 2014 I think I'll wait about a month, and if she doesn't contact me, I'll leave her alone for good. What should I say if she does contact me? To be honest, like I said I don't want to forget her, and I don't want her to forget me, because we had absolutely amazing times, and I don't want that to go away
Simon Phoenix Posted January 23, 2014 Posted January 23, 2014 I think I'll wait about a month, and if she doesn't contact me, I'll leave her alone for good. What should I say if she does contact me? To be honest, like I said I don't want to forget her, and I don't want her to forget me, because we had absolutely amazing times, and I don't want that to go away If the times were truly amazing, she isn't going to forget you in a month. Hell, she won't forget you in a year. 2
Author montykatzy Posted January 27, 2014 Author Posted January 27, 2014 Update: She did message me over Saturday, just saying hi. I told her to go away as a I was busy so she got angry and stopped replying. This week I found out she was planning on sleeping with one of her old exes, so I texted her asking her about it. She said she was planning on spending her birthday with him, but didn't want to sleep with him, but didn't meet him at all. We then had a massive fight because she said that I never cared about her. She then told me she doesn't care about me at all, doesn't love me and wished she died before meeting me! I wish she did like me... Apparently she still tweets about me, but I don't really believe that. We stopped talking again... Man she is so annoying
xUnknown Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 Update: She did message me over Saturday, just saying hi. I told her to go away as a I was busy so she got angry and stopped replying. This week I found out she was planning on sleeping with one of her old exes, so I texted her asking her about it. She said she was planning on spending her birthday with him, but didn't want to sleep with him, but didn't meet him at all. We then had a massive fight because she said that I never cared about her. She then told me she doesn't care about me at all, doesn't love me and wished she died before meeting me! I wish she did like me... Apparently she still tweets about me, but I don't really believe that. We stopped talking again... Man she is so annoying Anger is an easier emotion to deal with than sadness. She cares about you man, she was just making it seem like she didn't and was mad at you so it would be easier for her.
Simon Phoenix Posted January 28, 2014 Posted January 28, 2014 Update: She did message me over Saturday, just saying hi. I told her to go away as a I was busy so she got angry and stopped replying. This week I found out she was planning on sleeping with one of her old exes, so I texted her asking her about it. She said she was planning on spending her birthday with him, but didn't want to sleep with him, but didn't meet him at all. We then had a massive fight because she said that I never cared about her. She then told me she doesn't care about me at all, doesn't love me and wished she died before meeting me! I wish she did like me... Apparently she still tweets about me, but I don't really believe that. We stopped talking again... Man she is so annoying Stop responding to her and for god's sake, don't criticize her for who she might or might not want to hook up with. You aren't her boyfriend, you have no right to butt in there, just like she has no right to butt in to what you are doing.
Author montykatzy Posted January 30, 2014 Author Posted January 30, 2014 Thanks for the replies. It was her birthday yesterday so I sent her a text, and she said thanks. That was it. To be honest I don't feel like talking to her, it's to much stress to talk to her and decrypt her. @Simon, I get what you mean and I had no real reason (she pointed it out too) to try and convince and control her. However I know she'd do the same. A memorable example is about 2/3 months ago, she told me she had a dream where I was with another girl and she cried. She told me that she didn't want me to go. I tried to do the same, and I guess I succeeded!
Simon Phoenix Posted January 30, 2014 Posted January 30, 2014 Thanks for the replies. It was her birthday yesterday so I sent her a text, and she said thanks. That was it. To be honest I don't feel like talking to her, it's to much stress to talk to her and decrypt her. @Simon, I get what you mean and I had no real reason (she pointed it out too) to try and convince and control her. However I know she'd do the same. A memorable example is about 2/3 months ago, she told me she had a dream where I was with another girl and she cried. She told me that she didn't want me to go. I tried to do the same, and I guess I succeeded! You shouldn't have texted her on her birthday and how she'd act in your shoes is completely irrelevant. She's not in your shoes, you're in your shoes. It's time to stop talking to her and stop meddling and work on yourself. 1
maturityassets Posted January 31, 2014 Posted January 31, 2014 I'm not one of those "alpha" male pushers and say don't care about a woman.... But seriously the relationship is dead and its time to be that autonomous man you are suppose to be. Time to be confident and say "It really doesn't matter what my ex thinks or any woman thinks at this point" because you are living your life. There is no reason to talk to your Ex. Because there is nothing to prove to her, instead its about being proud of yourself. And the best way to be proud of yourself is to overcome this and live your life without this person because you can't control her or anything else for this matter. So stop talking to her and tell yourself "A guy like me has plenty of options in this life".
Author montykatzy Posted February 1, 2014 Author Posted February 1, 2014 Thanks guys... I'm gonna stop talking to her. We haven't spoken for like 4 days, and it sucks. She always was the fighter type. In any case, I'll leave her alone, and just not reply if she texts me
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