BC1980 Posted January 14, 2014 Posted January 14, 2014 Oh well... this just got harder I don't know what else to say... I appreciate help from all of you. But all that I want is for him to come back I should probably rethink everything and take NC into the consideration, but I really doubt that I will ever be able to do it. I feel for you because you sound so broken down. I've been there, but you can get through it. I was scared to move on because I was scared to feel the pain. As bad as it is, you have to process the loss at some point. Otherwise, you stay in a holding pattern of hurt. You can go on to have a better life. It is possible, but you have to believe in yourself first. NC is the first step in the healing process. I really don't see you getting out of this while remaining in contact. 2
Fufu Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 It's been 5 months since it ended, and it still hurts so ****ing bad I miss him so much and I just hope he will come back... we stayed friends. He asked me out about a week back. I thought it was a date... but he was just... friendly. It killed me all over again. It kills me every single day I still hope that he will see what mistake he has made and come back. But slowly, I'm starting to lose hope... I'm just tired of trying to make him see how great we were. I should stop, should I? It hurts... and I feel like I will never get over it. I just woke up from a dream where we were back together and happy. stupid brain. Is it even normal to feel like this after 5 months? (1 year relationship) I can't do this anymore... i feel like someone is stabbing my heart with a knife. That is the reason don't stay friends with an ex because you are just gonna invest your feelings on hoping he comes back. And in this situation, hope is not the solution. He doesn't want you anymore, not even a relationship, so by staying at his side (being friends) is not gonna make him come back to you. Make the right decision, move on from him, get away from him and start your NC.
Fufu Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 I started to improve myself right after breakup... I've travelled, got into univerity. I even applied to a job that I wanted to do for a long time. And I got accepted for a 3 month trial perod . I did what I was supposed to do but I was expecting that the pain will be over by now. Its so discouraging and no one knows. I feel so weak for what I feel. My ego is totally bruised. I tought he was the one. But apperently, it was all just a waste of time I'm 19 and this was my first real relationship. Since it ended, I tried to go out with couple of guys, but it just felt likr Im cheating on my ex and ruining every opportunity for our future realtionship. Which exists only in my head. You put him too high on the pedestal. Be with someone who really wants to be with you. Don't invest unnecessary time and effort to someone who don't want to be in a serious relationship with you. I can understand the "ego is totally bruised". I used to think my previous ex was the one (and we even got our engagement rings), but in the end he broke up with me. I moved on because I care for myself, there's nothing great about depending our happiness on another person (who doesn't even care anymore) You are still young my dear, plenty of great opportunities to meet new people. Take your time. 2
LostConfused123 Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 Hey MagicMoon, How are you doing today? Just thinking of you. I guess because I was in your situation once (well not exactly but similar) Anyway, I know the pain you're going through and I'm really hoping you can go NC. It will hurt so much atffirst but you will get out of this nightmare faster. It's up to you and I would never judge you. I don't think anyone here would. This is a safe place to vent and talk. A lot of us have just been in the trenches and want you to heal because we know how awful it is. But like I said, it's up to you. YOU are in control of your future. It will be great and you will get past this pain. I promise!!! sending you big hugs today!!!
Author magicmoon Posted January 15, 2014 Author Posted January 15, 2014 Thank you all for your replies. Sharing my feelings on here helps alot and reading your answers is great distraction and encouragment. I got sick (just some flu) and I've been lying in bed all day. Ive been thinking alot about him and the breakup :\. I know everyone here supportes NC... but I'm so sick of losing people that mean something in my life. People coming and leaving. Thats how life is. But I dont want us to become strangers. To brush off our connection (even though its so differemt now) like it was nothing. That would be a heartbreak on a whole new and deeper level. I dont deserve that and neither does he. It kills me, because we are not together anymore and it is so discouraging that it's been 5 months. And here I am, wondering what went wrong and beeing jaded abot the whole love thing. I would love to be more comfident, and as someone has said... respect myself more and not wanting to be with someone who doesnt want me. i get the concept, but i can not interlize it. I had this problem with my first ex, I kept going back to him everytime he made a mistake (cheating, lying, ignoring) because he promised me change. I havent gotten over him for a long time. But when I went NC it happend imediately. But I wenr NC because I got sick of lies and his disrespect. It was so easy in that moment. It was like someone switched a switch in my head. And my last ex was like heaven sent, it was the relationship that I had drramed of as little girl. Until one day, it wasnt. Why oh why oh why
Author magicmoon Posted January 15, 2014 Author Posted January 15, 2014 I wish that switch would happen again. I feel so trapped in this pain. I am constantly nervous. I miss beeing my chilled out version of self.
Erlaad Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 Then be that person. Be who you wish you were. Fear us a terrible enemy, but it has a weakness: it comes from you. And so you can kill it. Don't worry about next week, start now with a little thing that scares you and makes you feel not confident. And do the opposite. It will take all your willpower but you can be the person you wish you were. Even better, you can be that person version 2.0. Keep holding on, everybody here roots for you. - Erl
Author magicmoon Posted January 16, 2014 Author Posted January 16, 2014 Thank you Erl for beliving in me! Today has been a good day, though. I havent felt like that in a long time I was studying like mad for the whole day, and he has hardly crossed my mind. I still hoped that he would text me or something, because we haven't talked in a few days ...but I don't have time for that right now. Have to concentrate on exams. Off to bed now, I'm exhausted
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