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Do you think this girl is ready to date?


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Posted (edited)

I'll try and keep this as short as possible as I know "walls of text" can be annoying...

 

Here's the story, in bullet points!

 

-- Met a girl on Thanksgiving. I added her on all our social media stuffs afterwards and we talked on there about once a week.

 

-- Saw her again on Christmas at a party and told her I wanted to hang out with her again soon. We exchanged numbers.

 

-- I texted her the next day and checked if she had plans the upcoming Friday night. She didn't. I said (verbatim): "Let me take you out to dinner that night?". She obliged and seemed excited, but I didn't realize until later that the word 'date' was never explicitly said. I think it was very implied though.

 

-- She texted me everyday leading up to the date.

 

-- The date went SO GOOD. Went to a very nice restaurant (a "date" restaurant), drank wine, split desert, I paid the whole bill, and we went for drinks afterwards.

 

-- Took her home, asked if I could walk her to her door. As I was just about to go for the kiss, her neighbor came out and started chatting us up. After about 10 minutes of awkward neighbor conversation, I settled for a hug and left. (it was obvious the neighbor was about to come in and hang out. I didn't want to third-wheel that).

 

-- Before I left I asked if I could take her out again. She was excited and said yes.

 

-- I felt great!

 

-- Bullet points maybe were not the best idea for this.

 

-- I texted her a few days later to try and go out again. She said she wasn't feeling well. I was very nice/supportive/etc. Told her I would try again next week. She said "deal."

 

-- Today I texted her again about going out tomorrow night. She said: "Maybe. I dunno. I've been in kind of a funk lately."

 

-- I asked what was going on.

 

-- She texts back: "It's a little too early in our friendship to be dumping this all on you but my dad passed away about a year ago and I have been suffering from anxiety/depression since then. I WILL get past it because I know deep down I am a happy-ain't-nothing-gonna-hold-me-down type of girl. I just need a clear head, the right company, and some damn sunshine".

 

We talked a little more after that, but after reading that I really got the feeling that she just isn't ready to put anything more on her plate than she already has currently. Can't say I blame her.

 

Also her use of the word "friendship" made me cringe.

 

What should my next move be? If I support her and continue chatting with her everyday will I eventually get friend-zoned? Should I just tell her that when she's ready, she should call me? Or is that too insensitive? Should I continue trying to date her now?

 

Any advice welcomed.

Edited by absogle
Posted

Hmm... I get this feeling like she's seeing this relationship with you and her as friends for now. She might be interested - but she's already told you that she's carrying some baggage with her. I think you should give her some space - maybe limit texts to once a week and take her responses from there. I am sure she will appreciate your efforts if she really likes you.

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