nicole9758 Posted January 14, 2014 Posted January 14, 2014 Hi everyone! I really need help I apologize for the really long post Well the relationship lasted for about 2 years and ended 9 months ago. And during the time, my ex and I had an on/off relationship. He broke up with me 4 times throughout the entire relationship but still let him come back to me like it was nothing (which was stupid I know but I loved him a lot). The 4th time he broke up with me though was the MOST hurtful thing he did to me. He left me because of someone else. Anyways, stupid as I am , I tried getting him back and I don't even understand why I wanted him back :/ I kept messaging him, calling him etc like an idiot. Everytime he replies he kept telling me to just 'wait' for him. He compared me to this girl and how she is basically a better option. I cannot explain how hurt I was by this and how much my self esteem suffered because of this. I always compare myself to this girl. Like I feel like I wasn't good enough for him. That he needed someone prettier and much better. :/ One month later, he finally came back. He asked (again) to give the relationship another try. I stupidly took him back :/ Now from this point, everything was just messed up. I became so insecure I didn't know when he was gonna leave me again. I became so clingy due to the fear of losing him (and if you know me in person I am not the clingy type). He became less available. He could go on for days and even a whole week not talking to me. Everytime I called him he always told me he was busy to talk. I felt like I was doing all the work. He would say things that would really hurt me like telling me how pretty other girls are, put my opinions down and ignore me everytime we have arguments. Then a few weeks later I found out that he had confessed to the girl how he felt towards her (this was before he came back to me btw). Turns out that the girl didn't feel the same way and just wanted to stay friends. And that's when he decided to come back to me. Now from hearing this, I felt like a doormat. Basically I backup. :/ Like he just wanted me to be there for the sake of having a girlfriend and not even trying to make the relationship any better. I felt so mentally exhausted. He always ignored me and only wanted to talk to me if it suited him. I got so tired of this that I just decided to breakup with him because I felt like he just didn't feel the same way anymore. I don't know what to do. All the hurt and memories are still fresh in my mind. How do I get over him? why do I still love him after all the things he did to me?
flightplan Posted January 14, 2014 Posted January 14, 2014 This sucks, but I'll be honest, you're teaching him how to treat you. Do you want to be treated like a goddess or a doormat? I'm a guy, but I wouldn't take that kind of behavior from my woman. I'd cut her loose and be with someone who wants to be with me... Don't be a backup plan for any guy. 3
RDawg Posted January 14, 2014 Posted January 14, 2014 Oo.. no, no NO girl!! Boundaries, red flags!! Please, where is your self respect? This guy does not deserve another moment of your time. It will never work unless the guy is 100% into you. Even then it might fail. Be careful you don't set patterns of behaviour for yourself that you will repeat in future relationships. I hate the No Contact gospel everyone here preaches but in your case I would cut this guy right out of your life. Tell him to f off. 1
Shashasha Posted January 14, 2014 Posted January 14, 2014 please please please - he is toxic! he is NOT good for you in the slightest bit - he treats you like trash and definitely a backup, avoid him at all costs, you are just causing yourself more misery (please stop hurting yourself) its normal to still love the person after all he's done - but trust me, you will get over it and find someone who loves you for who you are and give you your 100%. That is what you deserve. Not a douchebag. 1
Author nicole9758 Posted January 16, 2014 Author Posted January 16, 2014 This sucks, but I'll be honest, you're teaching him how to treat you. Do you want to be treated like a goddess or a doormat? I'm a guy, but I wouldn't take that kind of behavior from my woman. I'd cut her loose and be with someone who wants to be with me... Don't be a backup plan for any guy. You're right. Thank you so much!
LadyM Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 Oo.. no, no NO girl!! Boundaries, red flags!! Please, where is your self respect? This guy does not deserve another moment of your time. It will never work unless the guy is 100% into you. Even then it might fail. Be careful you don't set patterns of behaviour for yourself that you will repeat in future relationships. I hate the No Contact gospel everyone here preaches but in your case I would cut this guy right out of your life. Tell him to f off. Why do you hate the No Contact advice from here? Do you think it's a flawed concept?
BOREDouttaMymind Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 you give it time. simple as that. didn't say easy. just simple.
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